a comforting nod. She knew physicians were not perfect. It was impossible for mistakes not to happen, particularly in a clinical atmosphere where hundreds of patients were seen each week. While they weren’t major miscues, her six years as a nurse practitioner for Emil’s clinic taught her that there was no such thing as a mistake-free clinic.
Twenty minutes later, as Emil turned off Highway 5 and pointed toward the Coronado Bridge, Elizabeth remained perplexed that her husband had been so uncharacteristically unprepared for Jonna’s behavior. He rarely left anything to chance, even his free time on weekends which he planned by the hour. Calculated goals were a way of life for him, and she feared Jonna’s unexpected turn of events could put their personal plans on hold. Early in their relationship, they both agreed they would delay the start of their own family. Emil had often shared the troubles and insecurity he felt while growing up with his physician father who rarely shared personal time with his family. He didn’t want to make the same mistake. In her heart, Elizabeth feared they may have waited too long and that Jonna would be the only child she could ever share with her husband. A ruptured ovary a year earlier had rendered her sterile and, while they often talked of adoption, she knew her inability to bear a child had only heightened her husband’s affection for the only natural child he would ever have. Children were important, but her husband more so. Jonna would always be a major part of their life together, but suddenly there was an unpredictable curve in the road. Emil was the consummate perfectionist, and his ability to accept a daughter with an imperfection was still an unknown.
Emil broke his prolonged silence. “I’m sorry,” he offered. “I should have been prepared for what I saw. I have read enough textbooks on the subject, but they were always so impersonal. To have it become subjective rather than objective was a real jolt for me.”
Elizabeth leaned her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes. The frequency of her intermittent flashes of anger for her husband’s indiscretions three years earlier had nearly disappeared and, as hard as she tried not to let it happen, tonight’s party had rekindled the fire. She knew her husband was a promiscuous bachelor when they met, and she accepted it. He was a single, affable doctor with a bright future, and it was obvious that finding willing female partners for friendship and sexual pleasures would never be difficult if he chose to do so. A whirlwind courtship led to their marriage two months after they met. Despite his infidelity, their marriage remained intact and Jonna’s birth somehow brought them even closer. They both were part of Celia’s family. The best part was that she and Celia had become friends, not adversaries. She leaned her head on his shoulder. “So what’s next?” she asked.
Emil shook his head. “I don’t really know. All I’ve done so far is to give Celia the name of a clinic here in San Diego that works with autistic children. She took her there yesterday. There are so many issues and knowing where to start is not easy. It’s obvious that I’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”
When they prepared for bed that night, Elizabeth decided to take Emil’s mind off the evening and suggested they make love. While Emil enthusiastically accepted her invitation, once in bed he was distant, mechanical. His normal passion and sensuality were missing. Despite her best efforts, he was incapable of entering her. His mind clearly elsewhere, he eventually turned his attention to a simpler and more primary objective by satisfying her orally.
Late the next morning, Emil apologized for his preoccupation the night before. He explained that his thoughts had been on the last three years of their lives and reaffirmed that having his name listed as the father on Jonna’s birth certificate was more than a formality and that, while he took his parenthood very seriously, their marriage came first, and he would continue his efforts to rekindle her trust.
After Emil left for his usual round of Saturday golf, Elizabeth sat quietly on the sofa allowing herself a quiet moment of her own. Their marriage had been turned upside down when Emil presented the news of Celia’s pregnancy. While he was adamant that it was the only time he had ever cheated, it had taken her nearly two years to accept his statement as truth. Now, they were facing a new challenge. Their future was on a road of thin ice that could crack and give way at any moment. Uncertainty was suddenly the only predictable commodity in their new world. The end of the road was nowhere in sight, but it was one they had to travel together. She had no way of knowing it was a road that would eventually astonish the world.
Chapter 28
September 5, 1992
San Francisco, CA
The morning spent visiting his grandson only added fuel to a fire already ablaze in Crockett’s belly. He plunked fifty cents into a corner newspaper machine, grabbed the last outside table at the North Beach Restaurant in the Tuscany district, and sat down to wait for Dr. Jeremiah Trent. Thirty minutes early, he said to himself.
The front page of the San Francisco Chronicle proclaimed there was change in the air. The presidential election campaign was in full swing and President George H. Bush still enjoyed a commanding lead in the polls for re-election that, until today, most leaders of the democratic hierarchy felt too large to overcome. Bush had been Commander-In-Chief presiding over the Gulf War that became the most decisive American military victory since World War II, and he was using that popularity to steamroll himself into another term. Suddenly, Bush had competition. Bill Clinton, the governor of Arkansas, was nominated the night before at the Democratic convention in New York City as the Democratic candidate to challenge for the presidency in November. Tennessee Senator Al Gore would be his running mate. Overnight, many democrats suddenly saw victory within their grasp.
While the Democrats had donned their political rose-colored glasses, Crockett could not. He had no such personal optimism. After a difficult morning visiting his daughter’s family, he still had mixed emotions. While he appreciated Elena and Terry’s well-disguised optimism, in his heart he knew their daily battles to maintain some sense of normalcy in their lives most likely futile. He was clear that their future would never include the phrase happily ever after. Elena and Terry’s insistence that the words learning disabled never be spoken in their home was a positive step in trying to give Scott some sense of a normal life, but he was afraid it was not enough. He felt a parental need to remain steadfast and calm, but sitting idly by and offering nothing more than moral support wasn’t going to get the job done. He had an emptiness that was not going away, and he planned to do something about it.
The newspaper’s political banter just underscored the frustrations Crockett experienced during his trip to the Capitol three months earlier. His annoyance with government covered many fronts. Recognizing and labeling the degrees of autism seemed the easy part, but the cause was either very elusive or nobody had bothered to look for it. An added insult was that cure was also never mentioned. The feds only provided statistics about the numbers of those afflicted, never any hint as to why the huge increase in the autistic population over the last thirty years. The feds just labeled them Learning Impaired. It seemed the government position was that their only responsibility was to report results, not seek the source of the increase. If autism were a plague or epidemic, the lack of governmental information on how to treat or prevent the spread of the disease would be met with public outrage. Receiving only shrugs and silence when he brought up the subject, Crockett reasoned that he may have talked to the wrong people in the wrong agencies. While promising, even the alliance he formed with Trent came with no guarantees.
Precisely on time, Jeremiah Trent walked up from behind, pulled up a chair, sat down and ordered a bottle of Perrier. “What do you know about mercury?” he demanded, still disdaining any form of a greeting.
Smiling, Crockett breathed a sigh of relief. He knew Trent worked with facts, not fantasy, and felt obliged to answer his question promptly, admitting he knew nothing about mercury.
Trent dismissed his ignorance. “Before we begin, let me tell you a little story that I think will help keep us focused as we move on. Everything
