three weeks, and it was the first time I had ever sailed with him. Already, during a few occasions, I had found out that he was not exactly an easy-going man. It still upset me thinking back on how he had reprimanded me in public for only the smallest offence. Therefore, I stayed away from the starboard wing.
Every now and then I peered out of the side window and saw that his many days of hard work were paying of. His whole body was tanned a deep color of brown. It even could be seen underneath the thick lavishly curling hair on his barrel shaped chest. The man must be strong as an ox, I reflected. While fairly short—he could not have been much taller than 5 feet 6—he looked to be almost as wide as that.
Turning back, I took another sip of my coffee, watching the distant horizon. Far away, I saw some movement. I put the cup down. Did I see a whale spouting in the distance? Reaching for my binoculars, I stepped back a few paces. Yes, I was right. A few miles ahead of us I saw a group of whales, maybe six or seven of them. Even though seeing those great mammals is not that exceptional, observing a whole group is not a daily or even a monthly occurrence. Should I make an announcement? The passengers without doubt would love to see this.
Using the public address system though, put me in a quandary, as this was discouraged by our company. The passengers were supposed to be on board to relax, not to listen to all kinds of announcements. But surely, a group of whales would be of enough interest to the passengers to warrant this disturbance? Not wanting to receive another dressing down, for a moment I did not know how to proceed. Suddenly a brilliant idea popped up in my mind, why not ask the captain? He was close by, and his agreement would cover any comments I could get.
“Sir, there are whales close by, should I make an announcement for the passengers?”
“Huh, what? … Whales? Where? Yes of course. They will love it, where do you see them?”
“At the other side—about a mile away now. There must be about seven of them.”
Apparently very interested in marine life, the captain got up, grabbed a pair of binoculars from the bridge and hurried to the other side, while I made the announcement.
“Ladies and gentleman, may I have your attention please? We are approaching a group of whales on our port side ….”
My announcement must have been heard by every soul on board, and within a few minutes the railings were lined with hundreds of passengers and crew alike. So many were there, that the ship slightly listed under their combined weight. The captain was no less enthusiastic than anybody else.
“Look there, he must be at least a hundred feet, and that one, look!”
It was obvious that I had misjudged this man slightly, as someone who had such an obvious love for nature around him and could show so much appreciation for these magnificent creatures, could not be too bad a human being either. After we had passed the whales, a short while later, I went back inside; after all, an officer on duty should not stay outside away from his instruments too long. After awhile, however, it did puzzle me that the captain remained outside, still leaning heavily on the railing looking at something far away. I walked back to the side of the wheelhouse to see whether there was something I had missed.
“Hhggnnnaagggnn …!” I nearly dropped the binoculars. What a horrible sound. Had we hit a whale or what? Quickly I opened the door to the bridge wing.
“Did you hear that? What was it?”
The captain still had his back turned to me when he answered, his voice sounding uncommonly muddled..
“Get me off. I’m stuck to the railing!”
“You’re what?”
“You idiot! Can’t you see that I’m stuck? Couldn’t you come out when you saw that the whales had left?”
“But what … what do you mean?”
“I’m stuck to the varnish! Don’t you get it, you block head! And don’t talk so loud. Before you know it the passengers will see me.”
I must say that at first I did not know what to do. The captain, except from making grunting sounds, trying to get off, didn’t offer any solutions either, so it took me a while to get my wits together. Call for help. That would be the best. After all, I could not leave the bridge.
“He is stuck to the what?”
The staff captain, woken from his afternoon nap, had to be told two times before he began to understand the situation even remotely, and then one more time to convince him that his navigator was not affected by a severe case of sun stroke.
A few minutes later, still tucking his shirt in his pants, he was on the bridge and together we walked outside where the captain still stood, making valiant efforts in pretending that he was still intently watching the horizon.
“Hello, Sir. Are you stuck?”
A strangled sound came before the poor man answered.
“Yes, you nitwit! What do think? I’m stuck to the wet varnish.”
The staff carefully touched the railing next to the captain.
“It’s dry now,” he uttered stupidly.
“Yes, I know, but it was not earlier, when I leaned on it when he called me for those stupid whales.”
As it turned out, I was not the only one having difficulties finding a solution to the captain’s predicament. Like with me, it also took our staff captain a while to get his thoughts together, as clearly he was as much at a loss as I had been earlier. To be honest, it was a bonus for both of us that the poor captain was stuck with his back to us with little chance of him suddenly turning around. What he would have seen then would certainly have caused a few dismissals.
Both of us, at last, clearly saw the whole situation in its true context and we had a very hard time not to laugh out loud. The poor staff captain even retreated to the corridor behind the bridge, where he laughed unrestrictedly for about five minutes straight. Red as a beet and tears rolling down his cheeks, he returned. We went outside again.
“Let me get you off, Sir. One moment.”
Without warning he grabbed the distressed and unsuspecting captain by the shoulders and vigorously pulled him back as hard as he could.
“AAAAUUUUWWWW, you idiot, what are you doing, you butcher, you ….”
The captain, clearly was quickly losing what little patience he had left, and kept going for while, describing in very explicit terms of what he thought about his staff captain and what he would do, once he would get off the railing. This to us of course, in no way was an incentive for us to get things going.
“You really are stuck.”
The staff captain observed, after having carefully investigated the situation in front of him a bit better.
“And your armpits too. Let me get the carpenter.”
After that, it didn’t take very long before the bridge was a scene of frantic activity. Every officer suddenly had some urgent business that required him to be there and of course to have a peek outside where two carpenters were busy working around the captain to unscrew the wooden railing from the steel stanchions. When it finally came loose, between the two of them, they
