a chair behind him, while one end of the railing was put to rest on the maneuvering console and the other on a bookcase.
“Get out of here, all of you.”
He hissed to the assembly of onlookers, with such venom in his voice, that it took less than a minute for everybody to disappear— except of course for the carpenters, the staff captain, and me. Never before did I have such an eventful watch with so much excitement on the otherwise so quiet bridge.
Slowly, hair-by-hair, the captain was cut loose by the carpenter. It took almost two hours in which I learned how creative a person under extreme duress can use his language, and I was impressed. The captain also gained my grudging admiration for not having a massive heart attack during the whole embarrassing episode. Finally the job was finished, and within seconds the captain disappeared, his arm held high, as not to touch his tender parts and a bright red beam of bare skin on his chest which looked as if a farmer had passed to cut the grass.
It’s a strange thing maybe, but I never bought myself the wooden sailing boat I always had wanted so much.
Buster
“You are also invited, and don’t you find any excuses!” The captain pointed at me with his finger, the moment I entered the navigation bridge. His voice betrayed a high degree of agitation, and I saw that he had spilled some of his coffee, as he was in the process of wiping up a puddle from the windowsill. The chief officer was standing next to him, very red in the face. It seemed to me that either he had received a severe dressing down, or that he was barely able to keep from laughing out loud.
Until that day, the captain had barely spoken two words to me, and I felt honored that he was including me in his invitation, although, I did not have a clue as to what it was all about. He turned around to face the chief officer again.
“Don’t you laugh!” He snapped at the chief officer hotly.
“I didn’t even realize that she was on board. Should have expected her anytime though. She hasn’t taken a cruise in over a month. Still, I wouldn’t mind if she had stayed home.”
He seemed very annoyed and he spilled some coffee again without even noticing it.
“That woman drives me nuts. Always parties, always wanting all the attention, and always it’s me she’s after.”
“Noblesse oblige, Sir.” The chief officer volunteered. The captain stared at him for a few seconds and snorted.
“Spare me your quotes. You probably got them from your calendar anyway.” He turned around again towards me.
“Be ready in your formal uniform, at seven sharp, right here. The purser, the hotel manager, the chief engineer and me are all invited to a private party, and you are coming as well.”
“What kind of party, Sir?” I asked. “Do I have to bring something?”
“No, you just come along.”
After the captain had left, I looked at the chief officer and the navigator on duty, who as soon as the door had closed burst out laughing. The chief officer even laughed so hard that he had to steady himself on the radar. I had been looking forward to attending parties, a part of cruise ship life I yet had to sample. This, however, must be different, and something clearly was wrong here—too much laughter, and why was the captain so upset?
“What’s going on here?”
The only answer I got was more laughter, and the chief officer started to gasp for air.
“Oh man, haven’t laughed like this for a long time. What did you say?”
I repeated my question, very curious now about this party that seemed to unsettle everybody by just mentioning it.
“It’s a birthday party of one of our passengers, and she invited almost all the officers. All except me, because she doesn’t approve of me.” Again the Chief Officer started to laugh.
“Nobody can refuse to go, because she owns a zillion shares in the company, and can be as mean as poison, and she always gives these parties.”
I started to become a little annoyed. Everybody kept mentioning parties, but so far the funny part about it kept eluding me. I have never been a man thriving on going from one social affair to the other, but on the other hand, a good gathering every now and then I do enjoy. What was so funny?
“So what’s wrong with her celebrating her birthday, it seems perfectly normal to me.”
An explosion of fun erupted again. The navigator reached for a big red handkerchief from his pocket and started wiping the tears from his eyes. The chief officer lifted his hand, indicating that he was more or less ready to tell me more about the joke.
“Marge Winkler is one of our faithful passengers. She makes about twenty cruises a year, and always at this time she celebrates a birthday. We all have known her for years, and every year she looses it a little more. Not to say, she is stark raving mad! She wants all officers to come to that birthday party, and nobody can refuse, because she will find you.”
It all was becoming a little childish I thought. To me it seemed rather normal that a group of officers was required to attend a private party. I was just about to inform the chief officer of my thoughts, when he resumed his story.
“The funny part is that it isn’t her birthday at all, it’s her teddy bear’s. His name is Buster.”
Now I started to smile, visualizing the whole scene already. Joining the laughter, I actually started to look forward to seven o’clock.
Ten minutes before time I was on the bridge, for the first time in my life dressed in a formal uniform with a collar so stiff I thought it would choke me. One by one the other officers came in, all dressed similarly, and none of them looking too happy. With a certain amount of apprehension I followed them through the corridors, the captain in front, to one of the most expensive cabins on board the ship. Being the first in line, the captain loudly knocked on the door and waited. After about two minutes, slowly the door was opened and an elderly lady looked at us with uncomprehending eyes.
“Hello Ma, we are here for the party. It’s Buster’s birthday, remember?”
“Oh yes, of course. Come in, but be careful, he is still asleep.”
We all moved in, followed by a few stewards pushing carts with drinks and appetizers. Never having been in these staterooms, I looked around curiously. The cabin was huge, beautifully decorated, and about ten times the size of my own, which I already thought to be very spacious. In a corner stood a queen size bed in which a body laid, covered with blankets and propped up with pillows. Sticking out above the covers, I saw the head of a big Teddy Bear. This must be Buster! Startled by an unexpected sound I turned around and saw Ma Winkler. She was sobbing and tightly holding onto the arm of the captain with one hand. Our commander looked decidedly embarrassed, and I moved a little closer to hear what was being said.
“Oh, it’s all my fault. I insisted since it was his birthday. He so strongly disapproves
