very ripe age.” Both names of course were taken from the two step sisters of Cinderella.
There are those people who will never be happy, no matter what they are doing and no matter where they are. At the same time they often seem to reap some grim satisfaction from the fact that along the road they make life as difficult as possible for everybody else as well. Grisella and Anastasia were prominent amongst this group.
Our voyage started on a freezing day early in January. The itinerary would bring us down the coast of South America, through the Straits of Magellan, the South Pacific, and so on. I looked forward to it. After all, how often does one make a grand voyage around the world and get paid too?
It wasn’t until we sailed the Straits of Magellan that I met Grisella for the first time. I was standing at the railing. The evening was breathtakingly beautiful. Snowcapped mountain peaks behind which the sun had just gone down, giving them an incredible red and silver arch, surrounded us. The weather was crisp, clear, and clean. Suddenly a rasping voice next to me scattered the peace.
“Where are we?”
I turned around.
“Just about halfway through the Straits, madam.” I was not able to remain silent about what I saw.
“Isn’t this incredibly beautiful, madam?”
“It’s cold. We should be in nice weather.”
She tapped the deck with her cane, making me believe she expected me to do something about it.
“Well madam, we are very far south, and it’s normal to be a little chilly, and …”
“Stupid answer. Who are you, anyway? I booked one of the most expensive suites on board, and they sent me somebody like you, giving answers like that. I’ll mention you to the captain.”
Open mouthed, I watched her walking away, twice hitting an ashtray with her cane. That she followed up on her promise I found out the next day, when I was called to the captain’s office.
“Please stay away from her if you can’t tell her the things she wants to hear.”
“But, Sir, I hardly said anything at all, she just assumed …”
Waving his hand in an exasperated way, the captain sighed.
“I know, I know. But then avoid her. It cost me twenty minutes this morning talking with her about your behavior, and I have better things to do.”
The voyage went on. We visited Kobe, Shanghai, and many more places I had never been to before. Then we passed Singapore and entered the Indian Ocean on our way to Madras and South Africa.
It was an early evening. I was just dressing for dinner when an announcement shook the peace on board.
“Medical team, deck six forward!”
Even though I was not part of any of this, I knew that something bad had happened. Otherwise such an explicit announcement would not be made. As the location was close to my cabin, I decided to check if any help was needed, even if only by keeping the area clear of curious guests and crew. This turned out to be a good idea, as when I came around the corner into the announced area, I saw our senior doctor literally being attacked by Grisella, while Anastasia was lying on the floor.
“You fool!” She yelled at the top of her voice. “I’ll get you for this!”
“Yes, but it appears she had a heart attack. I need to help her.” The doctor stammered trying to fend her off.
I assessed the situation immediately and put myself between Grisella and the doctor, who right away turned around and started administering help to the seemingly unconscious Anastasia.
With her fists, Grisella pounded my chest with amazing strength.
“Look what the idiot is doing; he is damaging her jewelry! Watch that necklace! He could have broken it the way he took it off.”
Wanting to stop her pounding, which at this stage was becoming rather painful, but at the same time not knowing how, was annoying. After all who likes to fight off a ninety-year-old woman who looks as frail as can be. Seeing the security officer arrive on the scene was the solution, as unlike me, he was paid to be a punching ball. Grisella didn’t notice that now she was pounding a completely different person, and kept ranting about broken jewelry and the cruise being a rip-off. What she also didn’t seem to see was that after a while the doctor sadly shook his head and got up.
To this day, I still can not figure out if Grisella cared or not. When the body of her sister was carried away to the hospital, she kept making sure that every piece of jewelry was accounted for, even to the extent of patting the pockets of some of the by-standers whom she suspected of having taken a ring she couldn’t find.
Word of the incident got around very quick. Anastasia, after all, was well known by the passengers. Hadn’t they made numerous world cruises together? Nobody, however, seemed to think it too tragic an event. After all, at the age of over ninety, this was not really that unnatural. Grisella’s concern, however, was not so much with what arrangements to make, but more so with the associated cost. Anxious, she inquired with the ship’s purser what charges she could await—and above all, how to reduce them.
We never figured out who, probably jokingly, mentioned to her that burials at sea would be free. What happened was that suddenly she started to nag our poor captain that this was exactly what she wanted. Poor Anastasia even had mentioned this desire to her, she stated blatantly, and who were we to refuse her such a thing.
It took quite a few lengthy telephone calls with the head office of our company, before finally the captain gave in to her wishes. After all, why not? No international rules forbid doing so. Seeing him on the bridge later on, grumbling, trying to put a service speech together was rather funny, even considering the circumstances.
At the same time, our ship’s carpenters were busy, crafting a coffin. And to be honest, when I saw the result, I was impressed. Also the makeshift ramp from which it was to slide into the sea, was a piece of ingenious art. Erected in the luggage area, it had a cleverly constructed lever, which would, when pulled, release the coffin, which then through an open side door, would drop into the deep. Our bosun, an experienced old salt, was in charge of the whole contraption and according to his own words, had dealt with similar situations numerous times.
Of course, we did not invite all the guests to the service, after all, a luggage area is only so big. Only the closest friends were invited, and it was amazing how many there seemed to be. Our purser, handling the requests to attend the service, was less sure about the “friend” part of it. While talking to the captain, I overheard her stating that she believed that the invitees were more interested in a diversion on an otherwise normal day at sea, than in paying their respects.
The ceremony was to be held at 5:00 p.m., and the ship would slow down. The day before, the crew spent hours cleaning and painting the luggage area, an activity overdue anyway, and at 4:00 p.m. the coffin was brought up to be placed on the ramp. The bosun had it organized perfectly; everything was well planned and nothing could go wrong. Carefully he directed his men to put it on the ramp and then opened the door to see that there was nothing in the way, so that when ready, it would be one smooth movement.
A few
