can only open the door. You’re the one who has to walk through it. ~Morpheus, The Matrix
In the midst of our addiction, we told ourselves, “This time it will be different.” But every time it was predictably the same. We thought we could beat our addiction like Wiley Coyote always thought he could catch the Roadrunner. We tried every manner of idiotic behavior to control our use and deny our powerlessness, but we found ourselves getting beaten down like a cartoon character and scrambling back for more. Our minds were closed to the truth. It wasn’t until we “freed our mind” and surrendered to our addiction that we had any chance of catching the Roadrunner in our life. No matter how long we stay substance free, our Wiley Coyote of denial lurks just around the corner. That is, unless we keep the door to C.D.A. open and “walk through it.”
The more I walk through the C.D.A. door,
the fewer Roadrunners I try to catch.
However difficult this admission, it opens the door to a new way of life.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 40
February 13
If your life ended tomorrow, what would you regret not doing? If this were the last day of your life, would you spend it the way you’re spending today? ∼Oprah Winfrey
Once we stop creating trauma and drama in our lives, which is a direct result of practicing principles, our daily life can take on an air of calmness that may seem dull. We sometimes arrive at a point in recovery where we feel stagnant. We strove for so long to get chemical free, which is now the basis and pivotal point of our lives. In the beginning, getting and staying clean was traumatic, dramatic, and took a great deal of our energy. Once we don’t have be on high alert at all times, we may find ourselves asking, “Is this all there is?” The answer is, “No, it’s not.” At our own pace, we add unfamiliar activities, face different challenges, make additional friends, and take new directions without letting go of our principles. We decide what the regrets would be if we died tomorrow, and we add them to our activities list today.
I do not forget to really enjoy myself because
this moment is about to be over.
Recovery has more to offer me than simply being chemical free. This spiritual path gives my life meaning, purpose and joy.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 76
February 14
The Supreme act of forgiveness is when you can forgive yourself for all the wounds you’ve created in your own life. Forgiveness is an act of self-love. When you forgive yourself, self-acceptance begins and self-love grows. ∼Don Miquel Ruiz
During our active addiction we did not know self-forgiveness. We lived in guilt, shame, and denial—all of which prevented us from truly loving ourselves or anyone around us. When we come into recovery most of us are feeling hopeless, helpless, and ready to give up. Then we find love, support, and friendship here in the rooms. If we continue to attend meetings, share our thoughts and feelings (both good and bad), and pray to our Higher Power, in addition to having found a sponsor and begun working the Steps, we gradually learn to forgive ourselves for our behavior during active addiction. By forgiving ourselves we begin to love ourselves. The world then becomes a more beautiful place in which to live.
I accept the Fellowship loving me as I begin forgiving and thoroughly loving myself.
We are acting out the love our higher power gives us, not beating ourselves up.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 51
February 15
Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work. ∼Thomas A. Edison
Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was a meeting that needed to be opened on Monday nights. Everybody thought Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry because it was Everybody’s responsibility. Everybody said Anybody could do it, but Nobody realized Everybody wouldn’t do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody opened the meeting, even though Everybody knew that Anybody could have done it. The newcomer wondered where Everybody was, because Somebody told him that Anybody at the meeting would talk to him, except Nobody was there.
I take every opportunity to serve so that when anyone, anywhere reaches out for help,
someone will be there.
Each C.D.A. group has a set of elected officers. These individuals are trusted servants of the members. They carry out the groups' responsibilities.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 87
February 16
Unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in this world, as to what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes. ∼Dr. Paul O.
Our relationships with husbands, wives, and children; our extended family and friends; and our employers, employees, and co-workers are those that cause us the most pain in the world. Why? Because we want them to do things our way, live according to our standards, and do what we think is right. Rather than accept that others might have their own way of doing things, their own standards, and live by what they think is right, we judge them as being wrong if they don’t do what we have in mind. Many a sponsor has seen a sponsee struggling with the inability to accept what is going on in their life. One of the first questions they ask is, “Who is not doing things your way today?”
By accepting life on life’s terms, I can accept
the people in my life on their terms,
and find happiness.
Am I willing to accept mistakes, my own and others', as part of being human?
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 52
February 17
Surrender means saying, “Okay, God I’ll do whatever you want.” Faith in the God of our recovery means we trust that, eventually, we’ll like doing that. ∼Melody Beattie
We surrender to win, not to whine. Beginners often find that “God’s will” is not exactly how they thought they wanted to live. In the beginning, many of us were only doing God’s will because we had to, not because we wanted to. Who wanted to put away chairs after a meeting when they could be in the parking lot flirting? Who wanted to 12-step someone at three in the morning when they had to get up early for work? Who wanted to pay back large sums of money when the victim might never find us? The wonderful thing about C.D.A., though, is that eventually we surrender to God’s will because we want to! And let us always remember that the quality of our recovery is proportional to the quality of our surrender.
I have to do God’s will until
I want to do God’s will.
The next step forward is to surrender ourselves to that
