belong to us. Only fear stands between us and what is rightfully ours. If we work our Steps as directed, we have to face our fears. Yet, we don’t have to face them alone, because we have a new Employer. And our Employer has a really good employee assistance program that we can take advantage of. It’s called Chemically Dependent Anonymous. One of the greatest benefits of C.D.A. is that no fear will be faced alone. Thus, we see that the Power behind us is far greater than the fear ahead of us. Additional fringe benefits of working for this new Employer are joy, peace, love, and happiness.
I open myself up to
God’s way of doing business.
If we ask for His help, and let His plan and time and will be ours, we can let go of our old ideas, and fear of the future will leave us.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 110
January 27
Can I control my use of any form of mind or mood altering chemicals? Most addicts will see that control is impossible the moment it is suggested.
∼Narcotics Anonymous P 19
In C.D.A. we acknowledge our weakness with regard to not just our drug of choice, but to all mind-altering and mood-changing chemicals. We have learned that, for us, abusing prescribed medications or the use of any other chemical is considered a relapse. At one time, we were all delusional about our ability to control the use of any mind-altering or mood-changing chemical. Often, coming into recovery, we try to maintain that delusion to some degree. Maybe we think we can join another program that only specifies one chemical so we can keep using others. Maybe we keep our physician in the dark about our addiction so he might prescribe something if we should decide we need it. Fortunately, C.D.A. is our safe haven. C.D.A. is a place where we can explore the delusion that we might be able to use something at some time for some reason.
“Recovery is recovery is recovery” can only be understood if I know a “drug is a drug is a drug.”
{I} stopped taking any mood-altering substance, except for coffee. My "clean time" has just recently entered a phase which I dare call recovery.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 185
January 28
You can either be a host of God or a hostage of your Ego. ~Wayne Dyer
Eventually we come to find out that we are three people:
The person we want to be
•The person we don’t want to be
•The person we are
Accepting ourselves for who we are isn’t always easy. Sometimes, we are the person we imagine ourselves to be such as some spiritual guru that people in the Program are very impressed by. Sometimes, we act like the person we don’t want to be such as some self-absorbed “me-me-me” character. Either way, we are the hostage of our ego that Dyer speaks of. It is only when we are simply and purely the person we are that we can be a host of God.
Allowing myself to just be me,
I create the space for God to
work through me.
I accept whatever you have to give me, knowing that it will be what is best for me. Your guidance, your power, and your love will meet my every need, and will work through me to help others.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 48
January 29
If you judge people, you have no time to love them. ∼Mother Teresa
There are times when we hear people share in meetings and we don’t agree with their ideas, or we believe they are misunderstanding the Program. Maybe they have “rules” about what sponsors are supposed to do. Maybe they think the Program tells us how and when we are allowed to date in recovery. Maybe they present their opinions as program “facts.” When we hear things we don’t think are program, we learn how not to judge them. We learn that the best form of correction is to become a living program by showing them through the power of example. When judging others, we block our thought process to love. Mother Teresa did not judge the poor, she fed them. C.D.A. has taught us that we do not judge the poor in spirit, we nourish them.
I may be the best or only example of the
C.D.A. program that a newcomer ever sees.
We are not judges. God is the only One who has a right to judge, for He alone knows the workings of our minds.
~Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 89
January 30
Our troubles, we think are basically of our own making. ∼Alcoholics Anonymous P 62
Sometimes it’s just easier to make the world seem crazy than it is to just admit to our own insanity or character defects. It’s the snide look on the cashier’s face, not our own impatience. It’s the slow waitress, not the fact that we didn’t give ourselves enough time. It’s the stupid county code, not the fact that we didn’t bring our dog’s pooper scooper to the park. We have a propensity for saying, “My mistake, your craziness,” excusing our own actions while accusing others for the same type of behavior. Unfortunately, we do have the ability to make the world seem unbelievably crazy. We do this because we don’t want to see that it is our own failings that are usually at the base of our annoyances and irritations.
I work Step Ten when things don’t seem
to go right. That way, I don’t go in the
wrong direction for too long.
As I grew increasingly more aware in my recovery—it was around the nine-month mark—I realized that there was a pattern to my life that was the source of my troubles.
∼Chemically Dependent Anonymous P 51
January 31
Why am I so sad? Why am I so upset? I should put my hope in God … ∼ Psalm 43:5
Many of us came into the rooms of C.D.A. carrying a heart full of lifelong pain. We may have sought therapy to relieve the suffering, religion to quiet our spirit, or a relationship to fix us and make the pain go away. These things didn’t seem to work for long, if at all. We continued to drown our sorrows or self-medicate away the misery. It seldom occurred to us that the use of alcohol and drugs might be the cause of the pain, not the cure. It surely didn’t occur to us that therapy, religion, or relationships were hopeless in our lives so long as we were using. We learn in Step Two that a God of our understanding actually is the solution and the hope that we seek. Chemicals themselves were the barrier between us and our Higher Power, and if they didn’t actually start the pain, they surely prolonged it.
Mind-affecting, mood-altering chemicals
and unnecessary medications are not the
solution
