follow Joseph’s counsel only. So you will just have to wait until Joseph and Yeshua return and talk to him about your concerns. But then Yeshua will be home so it will no longer be a problem, will it?” I stand up, shaking, as Abba reaches over and pats my arm.
“There, there, Mary, do not get upset, Ima is only trying to help.” This has not helped at all. I wring my napkin, needing fresh air. “Go to the courtyard, my dear, and take some time to consider Ima’s proposal.” Thank goodness! I kiss his cheek and hurry out, my mother’s raised voice trailing after me.
With few oil lamps lit, the courtyard is very dark, but I feel better outside. My childhood house is not home to me anymore. I do not even miss it. Saddened, I hope Teoma arrives soon.
After what seems an eternity, there is an insistent knocking on the front gate. Neither the servants nor my parents appear, so I get up, hesitantly. It must be Teoma. Where are the servants to see to the gate? The knocking becomes pounding, so I go myself but once again hesitate. I feel wary. Don’t be foolish, I chide myself. It’s only Teoma.
Opening the heavy gate, I peer out. There is no one at the entrance. As I take a step outwards, Teoma’s warning whispers in the breeze. Fear engulfs me but before I can move back behind the gate, a strong rough hand clamps my arm and pulls me into the shadows outside the wall. Paralyzed by fear but managing to find my voice, I scream, but my assailant secures me up against the wall. Breath foul with wine, he whispers crude Latin. I struggle when he tries to lift my sadin, pushing roughly against me. His dirty hand silences me. Archangel Uriel alights behind him and instructs me to call for Teoma. Concentrating my hayye, I silently scream his name.
As if my assailant can feel the angel, he moves back slightly, enough for me to twist away. I try to reach for the archangel’s hand, but my assailant will not be deterred. Just as he roughly drags me back against the wall, Teoma appears!
Swiftly, silently, he pulls my attacker off and throws him to the ground. The man addresses Teoma in a rather familiar tone. Still plastered to the wall by fear, I do not move until Teoma instructs me to go back into the house. My legs shake as I back away.
Having regained his feet, the man draws his sword. Teoma does likewise, so I escape into the empty courtyard. In a short time, a man screams but before a tear can fall, Teoma steps through the gate. I rush into his arms. Gently seating us on a bench, his arm protectively around me when a servant appears. Seeing the two of us, she hurries back inside. Abba follows shortly.
“What is the meaning of this?”
Teoma does not stand because I am clinging to him, “Sir, I returned to find Mary being attacked by a soldier.”
“How can this be? She was only waiting for us. Oh my daughter, I pray it is not so…” The cawing of a crow interrupts my father and he quickly returns to the house to retrieve Ima.
Buried in Teoma’s chest as he strokes my hair, I cannot be comforted. With a dark flapping, the crow startles my mother, whose rage precedes her. Shielding me with his form, Teoma carries me inside and sets me down on a cushioned lounge, but I do not release him. “Please take me home, do not leave me here.”
Blue eyes fill, he touches my cheek gently, “I will not return without you.”
Ima tends to me as best she can, but I yearn for Miriam’s healing touch. “Please, I will be fine. Sarah will miss me.”
“You must wait for a few days. Your injuries will upset her.”
What injuries? Shaken up and roughly handled but thank goodness, that is all. My mouth feels bruised and tender, but I just want to go home.
“Please, Teoma will take good care of me.”
“If it wasn’t for him, this would have never happened.”
Teoma stands rigidly as I rise. “Ima, if not for him, that man would have raped me.” She is shaking with emotion. “I should have paid attention to my intuition, but unfortunately I did not. I will not make that mistake again.” With trembling lips, I end, “Yeshua trusts Teoma implicitly. So should you.” I gingerly kiss her cheek and then Abba’s.
Under the healing energy of the stars, Teoma escorts me home. Miriam is waiting for us in the study. Upon seeing my face she rushes to my side, “Mary, Teoma, what happened?” I explain in as much detail as I can remember, but my fear seems to have blurred it all. Before completing my story, I begin trembling uncontrollably.
Having sat us down side by side, Miriam kneels before us, eyes welling with tears. “I should have insisted that your parents come here.” Teoma slumps forward, his head in his hands. She touches his knee, “How are you doing?”
“Not well, Ima. All I can think of is how selfish I was.” He rises impassioned but pacing the room only heightens his angry despair.
“Please, Teoma.” Miriam motions for him to sit. “There is an energy here that must be released. Each of you in turn reacted with guilt, blaming yourself for what happened. I did the same thing.”
What am I going to tell Yeshua? He will be so upset! Teoma’s sigh brings me back to the moment and I try to focus. Perceiving the darkness of guilt, images of my hesitancy to open the door before the attack go through my mind. Miriam holds the hayye as we sit before her. All the tender areas on my body inflame, burning into my core. Teoma softens as Miriam speaks.
“You are now being given the opportunity to forgive, not one another, but yourselves. Teoma, you hold within your hayye a powerful energy of devotion, but it is wrapped around a core of guilt. Time to release the guilt and forgive yourself, then you will find your devotional energies will bring you much joy.” His smile is tightly laced with doubt.
Miriam turns to me. “Guilt is a magnification of your judgment of the human condition. You are learning to be more gentle with yourself and those around you. You have the opportunity to love yourself more deeply by forgiving yourself for making mistakes.”
“But I am concerned about telling Yeshua. He will know!”
“Remember that this is Yeshua’s lesson in forgiveness as well.”
Teoma murmurs, “I pray that he forgives me.”
“First, you must forgive yourself for your human errors and weaknesses.” This is difficult for him. “Teoma,” Miriam continues, “you deserve to have time to yourself.” His cheeks redden. He was with a woman!
Miriam leaves to prepare healing herbs. Teoma and I are alone. Hesitantly he ventures, “I am so sorry. How can I make it better?”
“Sarah would suggest a kiss.” When he tenderly kisses my bruised cheek, I feel safe and comforted.
Miriam stays up a long while tending me, rubbing healing creams into my bruised skin, placing poultices on the swollen areas. Gratitude fades the images of the attack. I surrender my guilt and intend to heal fully in body, mind, and soul, praying that Teoma will be relieved of his guilt and find forgiveness in his heart. Then I pray that Yeshua will be open to this lesson as well. I ask that my attacker be healed, for I wish no others to suffer from his fear. Finally, I give thanks for this experience that shall bless me with greater compassion for my humanness. When Miriam finishes, my prayer is complete.
Only Archangel Uriel appeared, and while I feel immense gratitude for his love and devotion, where were the others?
