most likely number one on every dead pool list from Thule, Greenland to Ushuaia, Argentina.
Paris Hilton would be the Franklin D. Roosevelt of this prestigious summit; she hails from aristocracy, as did FDR. We also know a few things about her: 1. Unlike the other heads of state, many of us are still trying to figure out just what talent, if any, Hilton has. 2. She was born into fame and wealth and did absolutely nothing to earn either one. 3. There’s a pretty racy porno circulating out there starring the hotel heiress. 4. Many who have actually met Hilton describe her as self-absorbed, arrogant and stuck-up. 5. She parties with Lohan and Spears. 6. She has really white teeth. 7. She has a very small dog. 8. Unlike FDR, she has demonstrated no willingness to serve her country. 9. She’s been to prison. 10. She looks fairly presentable in prison garb.
If you lived during the 1970s, you might remember the Flying Wallendas and their heart-stopping, death-defying and sometimes hair-brained high-wire acts. I can still see old Karl Wallenda walking the wire between the Eden Roc and Fontainebleau hotels on Miami Beach on a blustery night in 1977. My father and I watched it on the black and white Zenith in our family room. Wallenda, Dad was quick to point out, had no net beneath him, just cold, hard cement below. Jeez, this guy could fall right here on national television, I remember thinking. I was only twelve and not at all ready to see something like that. God how I held my breath and kept my eyes glued to that Zenith. It took him a while (the network kept cutting away for commercials) but Wallenda finally made it across. I breathed a sigh of relief. “Hope he never tries that again,” I said, exhaling. My father chuckled, assuring me that Wallenda would be revisiting the high-wire again and soon. But why, I wanted to know? Why take that kind of risk? “He can’t help it,” answered my father. “It’s in his blood. It’s who he is.” On March 22, 1978, one year after Miami Beach, Karl Wallenda attempted another walk, this time in Puerto Rico, at the age of 73. I don’t think I have to go into any details. You can figure out the rest for yourself and view the 27 second video on Google.
I get a Wallenda-like feeling, in the pit of my stomach, whenever I read about or watch the ongoing exploits of Lindsey Lohan and the Spears Family. They, too, conduct their lives like proverbial high-wire acts, while the rest of us gawk up at them in amazement while we wonder if there’s a shred of common sense among them. And every time we think we’ve seen the last of the high-wire histrionics, along comes more. And then more still.
Britney and Lindsay are the experts, the Karl Wallendas of their respective families. They’ve been up on those wires for some time now—trekking back and forth between hotels, balancing on one foot, even hanging by their teeth. Between the two of them, there have been multiple run-ins with the law. Open defiance in court. Pregnancies. Divorces. Custody hearings. Weight gains. Scary weight losses. Stints in rehab. Chugging purple monsters– a cocktail consisting of vodka, NyQuil and Red Bull. Two 5150 Holds—mandatory detentions in a psychiatric detox tank—and emergency trips to the hospital, with a dozen police motorcycles, several cruisers and two helicopters paving the way. Even the little sister, Jamie Spears, has grabbed a balance pole and jumped up there on the wire. So precocious, she took on a lover in her early teens and became a mother the same year she got her first driver’s license. But Momma Lynne might just take the Wallenda cake. She knew of the boyfriend and the sexcapades—much of it reportedly happening under her roof and with her blessings. After hearing of the daughter’s pregnancy, Momma Lynne immediately orchestrated a million dollar deal with OK! Magazine for an exclusive story and all the photos they cared to snap of the child mother and her newborn. The only thing this quartet hasn’t done is release a porno.
Maybe not but Kim Kardashian sure has. Pundits claim this woman has no talent. I’m not sure I agree with that. Anyone who can score her own reality television show, get paid serious money for her inane tweets and capture that much tabloid ink, week-in and week-out, has got to have talent. Somewhere. I’m baffled as to how Kardashian does it, but she does it—porno, sham marriage to an NBA player, sham relationships with rappers, revealing bikini photos and all. True, she’s not inspiring students in a classroom, nor is she assisting the aged in a nursing home, fighting fires, trying to cure cancer or helping to safeguard the City of Angels, but she is doing something. The only question I have is this: is her something worth anything?
I’ll say this much for Lohan and Spears: they’ve lasted a lot longer than many prognosticators had originally thought—myself included. I was convinced we’d be burying Spears after the last 5150 hold, where she had to be rushed to UCLA Medical. The same goes for Lohan and her manic party habits, not to mention the asthma and weight loss episodes. Fortunately, they’ve survived while Hollywood has bid adieu to the likes of Anna Nicole Smith, Heath Ledger, Corey Haim, Brittany Murray, Michael Jackson and Whitney Houston. Spears is fortunate that her father has stepped up and taken a leadership role within the family. Lohan, I’m afraid, hasn’t been so fortunate. Does this mean that Spears is out of the woods? Not so fast. The Associated Press, and I’m sure they’ve done this with Lohan, too, has actually pre-written Spear’s obituary says THE WEEK, in its February 1, 2008 edition. “Of course, we would never wish any type of misfortune on anybody,” said Jesse Washington of the AP, “but if something were to happen, we would have to be prepared.” So, let’s just call the 5150 incidents in January of 2008 her precarious walk between The Eden Roc and Fontainebleau. And she doesn’t have too many more of those left in her. Neither does Lohan. Is there a March 22, 1978 in their futures—a day in which one or both of these young ladies will tempt the fates one time too many? Will children, across America, have to ask their parents why such a tragedy (or tragedies) had to happen? If so, the answer will certainly be: “She couldn’t help it. It was in her blood. It was who she was.”
I tell my students the Spotlight fallacy is not a difficult concept to grasp. It comes about when we assume the individuals and issues occupying the spotlight (or headlines, if you will) are representative of the norm and worthy of emulating. One would hope that, as creatures of common sense, most of us would be able to discern the difference between normal and irresponsible behavior, even deviant behavior. That’s precisely why Spears, Lohan, Hilton and Kardashian are banned in my house—along with hosts of others, I might add. I don’t want my kids exposed to that pathology. Sadly, however, our nation’s appetite for the likes of these four, and many others like them, is sufficiently voracious to justify the parasitic and voyeuristic existence of scores of entertainment rags, television shows and web pages. America sits back and consumes this garbage each and every day. We’ve become a nation fascinated by Hollywood’s version of reality and gossip—never content, never satisfied; snared in this vicious cycle. The average student or working person wouldn’t survive a day, even an hour behaving like Spears, Lohan, Hilton or Kardashian. Our teachers and supervisors wouldn’t put up with it, nor should they. We’ve got to make this clear to our kids. Those four behave the way they do because they can. The rest of us can’t afford to emulate their nonsense.
If my words aren’t enough to convince you, read the July 2011 article, Facebook is Fun for Recruiters, Too. So, the next time you apply for that job, or submit that college application, don’t be surprised if someone is vetting you at the other end, vetting you thoroughly.2 And if you’ve fallen into the Spotlight Fallacy pit and are emulating our four diva friends in any way by flaunting your Hollywoodesque exploits on social media—drugs use, excessive drinking, nudity, sexual activity, indiscriminate partying—
just be prepared for a string of rejection letters.
Some are going to claim that Spears is no longer the “in” news item and thus has no influence on our youth. To believe that, you’d have to deny what we now see in our young girls in terms of their behavior, their looks and what they wear. Cruise around the social network sites and take a look. Who are these people? And what are they trying to accomplish? Any father of a pre-teen or teen will tell you how difficult it is
