cleavage has yet to present itself. I believe the word is precocious, and that was one of Spears’ main selling points. To me, Spears was like a nuclear explosion, whose fallout is still in evidence today.
Hollywood is a land of imitators. Spears comes along, then it’s Lohan, Hilton and Kardashian. Pamela Anderson makes a porno, then Hilton imitates her, followed quickly by Kardashian, Montana Fishburne and now former Miss Teen Delaware Melissa King—not to mention about a million other young ladies. Porn is now a multi-billion dollar industry. You no longer have to be an abused, neglected, alcoholic, drug-addicted cast-aside to make pornos. They’re mainstream. All you really need (besides the narcissism that already there) is a little nerve. Just a little. Janet Jackson has a “wardrobe malfunction” and suddenly they’re all the rage: Lady Gaga, Rihanna, Ice-T’s wife, Coco, Sarah Jane Dias, Lindsay Lohan, Sharon Stone and, please say it isn’t so, Selena Gomez.
It’s not just the influential divas we have to watch out for. Consider the issue of celebrity marriage. It seems nobody stays together anymore. At least that’s the impression we get from Hollywood: Pitt-Aniston, Phillipe-Witherspoon, Barrymore-Green, Madonna-Penn, Basinger-Baldwin, Cruise-Kidman, Cruise-Holmes, Garner-Foley, Jolie-Thornton, Simpson-Lachey and Spears. I’ll even throw in the Gores, Al and Tipper. So, who’s next? Jolie and Pitt? Alright, I’ll go for that.
This past Christmas I noticed a new book on my mother’s end table: Leading Ladies: The 50 Most Unforgettable Actresses of the Studio Era.3 It’s a thorough work, put out by Turner Classic Movies, and includes a complete filmography on each actress, along with a comprehensive list of all marriages and children—legitimate and illegitimate. After reading a couple of the bios, I began noticing how each woman seemed to have had two, three and even four husbands. All of a sudden, I had the irresistible urge to thumb through the book and count all of the divorces. When I was done courting these fifty lovely ladies (Garbo, Russell, Taylor and Garland among them), I could hardly believe what I’d scribbled down: 101 divorces. No wonder two-thirds of the world’s attorneys reside right here in the United States. I bet a majority of them are divorce lawyers. And consider that these failed marriages came at a time when divorce was supposedly frowned upon. And we hold these people up as role models? They’re the cultural elite? By the way, just what does cultural elite mean? I’d like to propose a new title for the book: The 101 Most Forgettable Relationships of the Studio Era and the Men and Women Responsible for Their Ruin. One thing’s for sure: When I finally closed the book and tossed it back onto the end table, I had a sudden urge to wash my hands and Lysol the room.
Vladimir Lenin referred to foreign sympathizers, during the Russian Revolution, as useful idiots. And wouldn’t the crusty old Bolshevik get a kick out of the likes of Kevin Spacey, Sean Penn and Naomi Campbell—all of whom have cavorted with the late Venezuelan dictator and potentate Hugo Chavez, simply because they couldn’t stand George W. Bush or maybe because they were ashamed of America. Perhaps going steady with Chavez was simply the sheik Hollywood thing to do. Penn and Spacey have both spent several hours with the megalomaniac, as did supermodel Campbell, who declared her admiration for the “love and encouragement” Chavez gives Venezuelan welfare programs.4 When I first read Campbell’s claims, I had to do a double take. Wasn’t Chavez the same guy who had his own people standing in line for everyday necessities (baby food, milk, chicken and eggs) at state-run markets manned by soldiers? Wasn’t he the same great mind who aspired to change the country’s constitution regarding presidential term limits so he could cling to power indefinitely? And wasn’t this the same man who changed Venezuelan time, and who grabbed control of the press and oil wells?
Can somebody explain what the heck Campbell is talking about?
I have news for these three celebrities: George W. Bush may not have been perfect, he may not have been everyone’s favorite president, but he never attempted to seize control of the press. He didn’t change the constitution by eradicating executive term limits; rather, he stepped down gracefully on January 20, 2008. That’s more we can say about Chavez. Perhaps Spacey, Penn and Campbell would care to break free from their hectic schedules in order to visit our country’s troops—the true American heroes. They might want to send a few letters, or even ship a care package or two, to the men and women defending their liberty to visit with and have lunch with a dictator that regularly mocked the United States. Unfortunately, that doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. These three would rather find the closest fascist, catch a flight to his country and have lunch with him. Take a tour of his opulent palace. Ogle at his fleet of 115 BMWs. Listen to his delusional ranting. Hopefully, they brought along their digital cameras so they can share these priceless moments with their Hollywood buddies. And now we have Dennis Rodman snuggling up to North Korean dictator and saber rattler Kim Jong Un, in March of 2013, saying that “He’s just a great guy.” Of course, Jong Un is the same young man who has put 200,000 of his own people into prison camps. The same individual who is threatening war, even nuclear war. On that score, Rodman had this to say: “He loves control, because of his father, you know- stuff like that.”
Indeed. Stuff like that.
Yet again we see how some actors and celebrities (I applaud the many celebrities who do the right thing) get away with goofy behavior with little or no consequences. So what does this mean for the average lay person? Just imagine hating your boss so much, you skip across the street and knock on the door to your biggest competitor. You don’t quit your job (no more than Spacey, Penn or Campbell would renounce their U.S. citizenship for a life in Hugoland); you simply hang out for the day and tell your competitors how wonderful they are. Berate your boss. Listen to your competitor berate your boss, and call him every name in the book—that sort of thing.
Are you currently in a fight with your wife? Would you like to get under her skin? Look up her ex—the one she absolutely can’t stand; the one who has all the goods on her. Have a few drinks with the guy while you both agree what a shrew she is. Bowl a couple of frames together. Catch Monday Night Football at the local watering hole. There. Now don’t you have a better appreciation for the logic of these three? Hope your brand of foreign sympathizing was worth it; unlike these three, you may not have a job to return to in the morning. You may no longer have a marriage, either. But don’t worry a lick about Spacey, Penn or Campbell. In the morning they’ll still have their careers. They’ll have a country to return to as well. Not only that, but their pictures will be splashed all over newspapers and magazines.
But that’s okay because they’re celebrities.
Boon and Lamore did a study in 2001. They found that 75% of young adults have had a strong attraction to a celebrity. Additionally, nearly 60% say they’ve actually been influenced by celebs. Take Tara Conner, former Miss USA. She almost lost her crown amid accusations of underage bar hopping, sexual promiscuity and alcohol abuse. Conner ultimately got to keep her precious crown, but what message does this send to young girls? Especially those who are so impressionable and vulnerable? That they, too, can screw up as much as they want and still get a second and third chance from a tycoon like Donald Trump?
Immediately following Conner’s absolution by Trump, Rosie O’Donnell lobbed several caustic barbs across the tycoon’s bow. He immediately returned the fire and these two went at it on national television, spitting their venom back and forth across Manhattan. Since this was the spotlighted behavior du jour, most of us shrugged and accepted the latest carnival side-show. As a high school dean, I spend a fair amount of time urging the kids to respect one another and to get along. Sometimes, with the really bad cases, I have to haul them into my office and threaten them with serious disciplinary reprisals if they don’t knock it off and grow up. I tell them that they’d better get a handle on this type of behavior before they become adults.
