in the course of a calendar year is too much for me. Where have we heard this before? Condoms, that’s where.1
Take the issue of birth control. If we were to rely on condoms, over the course of a year, the chance we’d end up pregnant would be in the neighborhood of 10-15%.2 I’ve read a couple of estimates that bump that figure up as high as 18-21%.3 Just look at the many ways condoms can fail.
Manufacturing defects- Some are so minute, they are virtually undetectable. Storage- Condoms must be stored at room temperature and away from ultraviolet radiation. Can you retrace the exact storage history, from the manufacturer to the store and all points in between, of that condom you’re about to put your trust in? Transportation Risks- Storing condoms in the glove compartment of a hot or extremely cold automobile is unwise. Some carry them in their back pocket—the same pocket they sit on and put their full weight on. Tearing Open the Package- Condoms are very delicate and can be torn as the packaging is ripped open. Rolling on the Condom- Many condoms suffer minute tears as their users stretch them into place. During sex- Some condoms rip, tear or come apart during sex. Ideally, they should only be used for a couple of minutes and then immediately discarded. Withdrawal- The condom (especially among people who do not know one another well) is a potential bio-hazard.
What about the risks of contracting a sexually transmitted disease while using a condom? That’s a good question. And there is no exhibition season when it comes to sex. If a person is playing the game, he/she is subject to all the rules—regardless of whether he/she is 13 or 63. And consider this: a sperm cell is roughly 1-2 microns in size. Compare that to the virus that causes AIDS—0.1 microns.4 Diane Dew, in her March 16, 1995 article “Condom ‘Safe Sex’ Theory Full of Holes”, writes:
“Even intact condoms have naturally occurring defects (tiny holes penetrating the entire thickness) measuring five to 50 microns in diameter—50 to 500 times the size of the HIV virus, writes C. Michael Roland, head of the Polymer Properties Section at the Naval Research Laboratory in Washington, D.C. and editor of Rubber Chemistry and Technology, in a published letter to the Washington Times. [In other words, just as rubber tires, over time, lose air, condoms (manufactured of the same product, rubber) also are porous.]
“’…the rubber comprising latex condoms has intrinsic voids about 5 microns (0.0002 inches) in size,’ Roland states. ‘Contrarily, the AIDS virus is only 0.1 micron (4 millionths of an inch) in size. Since this is a factor of 50 smaller than the voids inherent in rubber, the virus can readily pass through the condom.’
“In addition, condom manufactures allow 0.4 percent of any given batch to be defective, before a recall is ordered.”5
Just listen to what the American Medical Association’s Family Medical Guide says about condoms: “Condoms are easy to obtain and widely available. They come in a variety of designs, some of which may increase sexual arousal. Also, wearing a condom gives some protection against sexually transmitted diseases. There are some drawbacks, however…”
Some drawbacks?
Admitting that condoms only provide “some protection against sexually transmitted diseases” is certainly a drawback—a big drawback. So here’s a question. Why do some parents toss condoms at their kids, as they’re heading out the door on a Friday night, and tell them to be careful? Are they not informed as to the risks of condom use? Do they not think their son or daughter will contract Gonorrhea, Syphilis, Chlamydia, Hepatitis or HIV? Or, God forbid, all of them at once? Do they not think their son or daughter will end up parents long before they’re ready? I would ask these parents to consider the moral implications of sexual activity at that age. Unfortunately, many of them are simply thinking of physical safety but pay no attention to moral safety.
This is the Safety/Safe Supervision fallacy in all its glory. Some parents adopt a defeatist mentality: You can’t stop them. They’re going to have sex anyway. So, you might as well hand them a box of condoms. This is the passive parent’s lament: There’s no way to stop the determined teenager. So, they take the easy way out.
There’s another brand of parent operating under the convenient guise of this fallacy: The Spoiler. This parent could not say ‘no’ to their child if his very life depended on it (see the 12th Hour to Midnight: Quick and Easy Steps to Raising a Brat). They give the child everything he/she desires. And when this child reaches fifteen or sixteen, just be prepared. I want a car. I’m ready to have sex. Put me on the pill. I’m staying out all night. I don’t want to pick up around the house. Why can’t I drink? You do! I need more condoms. I’m not going to church; it’s boring. Is this all I’m getting for Christmas?
Here’s some advice for the parents who allow their kids to be sexually active. I apologize, in advance for the sarcasm, but it’s the only way to get through to some people.
Purchase the condoms yourself and store them at room temperature. If you have a daughter, put her on the birth control pill before she turns sixteen. For the love of God, don’t let your child have sex at someone’s party or in the back seat of a car. That’s much too risky. Insist, as in the well-publicized case of Jamie Lynn Spears, that she have sex at your house. In a nice, quiet bedroom with clean sheets on the bed. Light a few candles to create a romantic ambiance, and be sure to play some soft music. Next, purchase a biohazard waste bag for proper condom disposal and place this next to the bed. Make sure the two shower after their session. When the cognitive dissonance kicks in (and it will), justify what you’re doing with excuses like, Kids these days are different. They do as they please, and we can’t stop them. I’m just being a responsible parent by making these activities as safe as possible. Tell yourself that the parents who try to keep their children from having sex and from drinking are just deluding themselves. You know, deep down, that those kids are just as out of control as yours.
Of course, these suggestions are so insulting to informed and ethical parents, I’m almost embarrassed to write them. Yet, there are aspects of the list that speak volumes about some people’s attitudes toward raising their kids. And consider this: their kids, at some future date, may be seeking out your kids for sexual activity— with their parents’ blessings, in fact.
So what’s the answer to protecting our kids? Let’s start with morals, education, self-discipline and a high-achieving attitude. Kilpatrick, in his book Why Johnny Can’t Tell Right From Wrong, shows us that high-achieving students (Who’s Who Among America’s High School Students), at a clip of 73%, had not engaged in sexual intercourse.6 Apparently these kids are disciplined (as evidenced by their grades), they know where they’re going, they’ve mapped out their future, and they’re not going to let anything (and that includes getting pregnant or acquiring sexually transmitted diseases) get in their way. Again Kilpatrick shows us that, in Japan (certainly a high achieving culture), just 17% of non-married girls under the age of twenty had had sexual intercourse, compared with the 65% rate of American girls.7
It would behoove American parents to develop and nurture a high-achieving attitude in each one of their children. Incidentally, that does not include how many parties one can attend in a summer, how many different sex partners they can bed before they graduate or even how many beers they can down on a Saturday night. That’s simply moronic.
And, for heaven’s sake, start the life lessons early. Very early. If brats are trained so effectively starting at a young age, why can’t we do the same with responsible kids? We should not wait until our kids have reached the age of puberty to talk to them about sex or drugs. We need to hammer home, at every possible opportunity, respect, decency, modesty and how to face down peer pressure. An educated and ethical teen is worth his weight in gold. He’s worth more than a hundred condoms rolled into one—worth more than all of the birth control strategies combined. No birth control method, no anti-STD
