rolled her eyes at the name. Seriously, could you get any more bland?
“Yes.”
“Okay.” She waited for the other person to transfer the call. When nothing happened for a couple of minutes she asked, “Um, is this John Smith?”
“Yes.” The voice answered, sounding bored.
“Of course. Um, cool. I was hoping to get a little information about Ailleianne Smith? The person is looking to rent a room in my house. I am doing a background check before I offer zim... anything.”
“Yes. I can give you information.”
“Good,” London continued, “You were the first on the list of references. How long have you known Ailleianne?”
“I have known Ailleianne for 360 years.” The voice on the other end answered in the same tone as before. London stopped, wondering if she’d heard correctly.
“Wow, that’s a hell of a relationship. Is that some new age thing, like, including past lives too?”
“Excuse my mis-speaking. I have known Ailleianne for 3 and 6 years,” the voice answered.
“Nine years! Awesome.” London bowled right over the weird way the other person spoke. “So, Ailleianne lived with you, right? I mean, you are a former landlord, or Ailleianne was a former tenant of yours?”
London worried her nail, regretting not asking her prospective tenant if these were landlords or friends. Her prospective tenant could have given her anyone from zis past.
“Yes, I was a former landlord and/or property owner.”
“Can I ask which one?”
“It is a complicated relationship. Ailleianne provided financial capital in exchange for a place to stay. It was very similar to your situation.”
What was up with the way these guys talked? “Good. So,” London powered on. “Does ze, I mean, does Ailleianne currently live with you?” London remembered what Ailleianne had said about living at the motel but wanted to confirm it. Her research had said she would get better, more reliable answers from a former landlord. If a current one wanted a tenant out now, they could say anything to make the person seem like the best candidate.
“No, ze does not currently live at this domicile.”
“Okay. So, um,” London looked down at her list of questions. “Did Ailleianne pay rent on time?”
“Yes. Ailleianne paid when rent was due, every… month….” The voice paused as if unsure. London vaguely wondered if maybe they had had a different rent schedule. She’d heard some places required rent checks to be paid quarterly. Others were every six months. She didn’t really understand that system.
As the silence continued, London read her next question. “Okay, what about the property? Was Ailleianne respectful of the property? Was the tenant aware of and follow noise restrictions and that?”
“Yes,” the voice spoke softly and with almost no inflection. London almost thought to ask if Aillie was on the other end of the line, but the timbre of the voice was different. “Ailleianne was a good neighbor, respectful of both the property and the noise level as well as other restrictions.”
“Okay, last question. Why did Aillie move out?”
The voice didn’t answer at first. London couldn’t even hear anyone breathing on the other end. She’d almost thought she’d lost the connection when the person spoke up again. “Aillie moved out in order to explore.”
“I get the moving away, trying to find your place.” London chuckled, hoping to share a laugh with the other person. As soon as she realized she was the only one who found it charming, she stopped, stumbling to end the call.
All the other calls to Aillie’s references had been about the same. While the people who answered were just as monotone as Ailleianne had been, they all had glowing praise for zim.
Each person who’d answered had spoken highly of Ailleianne as if ze had been the most well-mannered and best tenant they could have. London wondered if ze wasn’t just independently wealthy. It would make sense if ze was. Ailleianne was socially awkward but people seemed to love zim. Money would probably smooth a lot of rough edges. London suddenly wished she’s asked for more in rent. It was completely unethical but would really go towards relieving some of her own financial woes so much better.
She’d also checked zim out on the internet. There were no records on zim.
With a rapidly approaching number of bills due and no other recourse, London made the call to offer Ailleianne the room for rent. Aillie answered on the first ring, which made London hope her prospective tenant hadn’t been just sitting by the phone this entire time.
“Ailleianne?” She asked as soon as she heard someone pick up. There was a bit of static and then zis voice came on.
“Yes?”
“Well, your references and the background check went well. So, I guess I’d like to offer you the room to rent.”
“I will be glad for the space to rent. Thank you for offering. What happens next?”
“Well, you move in at some point. You can move in whenever.” London stopped, chuckling. “Not that I expect you here today. I’m sure it’ll take you some time to get your stuff -- suitcase, clothes, boxes, what-have-you -- together. So, what day do you think you’d be here?”
“I can be there by tomorrow in the morning?”
“I work tomorrow at noon. Um, I could be up by eight or nine. I’ve got your key too.”
Ailleianne agreed. They were about to hang up when London stopped, feeling her face heat up. “Um, sorry. I forgot. I’m going to need the security deposit and first month’s rent before you could move in.” London coughed, suddenly unsure, “I mean, I know this is quick but I need to make sure I have it in my account before you move in. If you want to move in tomorrow, I might need cash. Or we can wait another day, if you want to drop a check off to me?”
London waited for a response. When nothing happened, she took the phone away from her ear and realized ze’d hung up on her. She wondered what had happened to zim, but figured she’d find out the next morning.
At exactly 8:00 am the following day, London heard the knock on her door. She looked up from her cup of coffee and stared at the door. Ailleianne was standing there, with a suitcase in one hand.
London opened the door to Ailleianne, wondering aloud, “Were you living at a hotel or something? I mean, I didn’t think there was one so close to here. Although I guess there are a few on 151 near East Towne.” Ailleianne continued to stare at her. Finally taking the hint, London looked down to see that Ailleianne was holding an envelope out to her. She took it, and upon opening it, realized it contained the sum of the security deposit and rent… for the next sixth months. Crisp twenties and fifties stared up at her.
“Huh, Aillie, I don’t think I’ve seen so much cash.”
“You required the rent and security deposit in advance. Is that not the correct way to pay?” Aillie
