“Fuck, wait,” Tij said to me, then to Kilroy, “Thanks a lot, asshole.”
I reached the tables and my chemical-infused eyes took in a motley cast that I knew from shit gatherings like this one. “Where the fuck’s Plum?” I shouted.
They all stopped talking and looked at me, then around at one another.
This dude, Bosse, said, “Why don’t you take it easy, okay? Come on over and have a drink and sit down.”
I knew Bosse from school. He’d taken my sister’s virginity, which I wasn’t supposed to know, but I did. I think I knew it then. Pretty sure.
“Fuck that.” I skulked around the edge of the group, looking between and among people, trying to find fucking Plum.
“What’s the big deal?” this dude Argos asked.
“Plum’s sniffin’ after my girl, is what’s the what.”
“Who’s your girl?”
“Channah.”
“Channah?”
“Did I fucking stutter?”
“No.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Channah. I saw Plum talking to her. Wait … where the fuck did she go …”
“I think she’s down by the lake with Trix,” Argos said. He’s being friendly, and I could feel it.
“All right,” I said. “That’s good. I’ll go down there when I’m done.”
I tried to bat the chems from my eyes and shake them from my limbs. No luck.
“I thought you were with Wendy,” Argos said.
“It’s complicated.”
“Hey, why don’t you sit down for a minute and rest. You’re looking kind of cooked.”
“Fuck off.”
Argos withdrew the hand he’d extended and sipped his drink.
“Where’s my fucking gun?” I asked.
“Wait, you have a gun?” Argos asked. “Here?”
“Well, yeah. In my car. Wherever in fuck I parked it …”
“Hey, they’re sayin’ they have a gun …” Argos shouted to the group.
I saw Tijn was there, too, talking to Bosse. I knew they were buds from way back. Tij looked sufficiently hopeless that he would be able to wrangle me and had given in to his very strong fucking need to socialize at all costs.
“Fuck you, Tij,” I shouted because I felt abandoned and left by that rat motherfucker.
Tij shrugged and shook his head.
“Just calm down, Honey,” Bosse said.
“Fuck off with that honey shit, Bosse,” I said.
Bosse’s one of those motherfuckers who had a nickname for everyone. Honey was his nickname for me. He’d thought it up at the pool one summer and gotten stuck on it. It’s fucking annoying.
Argos put his hand lightly on my shoulder. “Please, just take it easy, okay? No one is upset with you. You’ll feel better if you calm down.”
I swatted his hand away. “I’ll feel better when I’ve pitted that Plum.” I was running out of fruit metaphors, but I wasn’t above reusing them.
“Who is Plum?” Argos asked.
“You don’t fucking know Plum?”
Argos shook his head no.
“Yeah you do,” Bosse chimed in. “Plum lives over by Ford, who’s the bass player in Doron’s band.”
“Doron who fucked my sister, Doron?” Argos asked.
“I guess,” Bosse said. “Did they fuck?”
“Yes, they fucked,” Argos said. “What an asshole.”
“And dirty motherfucking assholes flock together,” I said. “Plum. Ford. Whoever fucked your sister. They’re all alike, man.”
“Yeah,” Argos said. “I guess.”
“So help me find this motherfucker, and we’ll get some justice.”
I watched as Argos’ rage gave way to the wake of better judgment.
“I don’t know. I mean, talking shit about someone is one thing. Shooting someone is something else.”
“Fuck that. Don’t be an asshole.”
“What? Why am I an asshole?”
“If you’re not helping me deal out sweet justice to these fucks, then you’re one of them,” I said not really believing anything of the sort. But I was trying to put the pressure on so he’d help me find Plum so I could shoot them.
“I still think you should take it easy.”
“Aw, fuck you, then.” I pushed Argos.
His drink spilled some on his cutesy little plaid shorts.
“Hey, now!” he said. “You don’t want to get hooked up with me.”
I smacked the bottom of the cup and sent drink spraying everywhere, including all over him.
There’s a lot of laughter from the peanut gallery.
I saw that rage from earlier show back on his face, and he took a step toward me, arms back at his sides, like he was gonna rend me once he reached me.
“Yeah,” I said. “C’mon motherfucker! Let’s do this!”
Bosse stepped between us. I hadn’t even noticed him walk over.
“Listen, Honey. I’m not asking you now, I’m telling you to sit the fuck down and relax. Before you hurt yourself.”
I took a swing at him, but my fist fell short of his head by about an inch and a half.
He blinked then took a sip of whatever in fuck he was drinking. “Don’t do that again,” he said. “I like you. A lot. And I don’t want to see you get hurt. But I’m not gonna let you hurt me or anyone else.”
“They’re not gonna hurt shit on me,” Argos shouted from behind Bosse.
Argos was taller than me, but Bosse was almost a foot taller still, so I could only hear Argos after Bosse stepped in.
I ignored Bosse’s warning and swung again.
