grabbed the pants, and she kicked me with the toe of a pointy boot.
“The boots, silly.”
“Right.”
I took the first one off and dropped it, then looked to her face.
It’s long and lean, hungry and approving.
“Go on,” she said, and gave a nudge with her head.
I took the other boot off, felt my pulse climb.
“Now the pants.”
I did like she asked and let the leather hit the floor between my legs.
She backed up, made room for me on the bed. “Now you can get in.”
I put myself up there with her, next to her on the downy top, within reach of her.
Her face came next to mine, shining with warmth and affection.
“Kiss me,” she said.
I did, and I kissed her as well as I could, as softly and tenderly as I could.
“I’ve waited for someone like you,” she said.
I wasn’t entirely sure what that meant.
“I’m not sure what you mean …”
She brushed my hair from my face, swooping locks of it behind my ear. Then she put her mouth to my neck. It wasn’t like before. She was easy, gentle.
I brushed aside her hair and kissed her neck. Her breath picked up, and her hips pressed into me. Mine were moving too, and I was awash in my good fucking fortune to be with her.
She rolled to her back and opened herself to me.
I took it all in. The beauty of the scene, the lovely scent of her blending into the strange smells of the room, the wide-open feeling in her eyes and in her smile.
I am the luckiest person alive, I thought.
Then something cold welled within me, from the inside out. And I froze.
Mickie saw it. She saw it fast, nearly as fast as I saw it change her.
Her teeth went fierce, and her eyes grew dark
“Are we gonna fuck or not?” she asked.
I didn’t answer, just sat there.
Things went blurry.
When I came downstairs, Danielle was printing some coffee and wafers for everyone.
Wendy was laughing and holding court, her tiny body throned at the center back of the room, drawing everyone to her.
Mickie leaned against her, though standing, looking lovely and long, her dark eyes cutting around me.
My chest felt heavy from what’s between us.
I sat down across the room. I wanted to be close but couldn’t bear being too close.
“What’s wrong, sweetie?” Wendy asked me.
I smiled at her, then looked at Mickie, who glared.
“Nothing,” I said and lowered my head.
Wendy flicked her eyes to Mickie, then across to me. “Mickie,” she said, “why don’t you go over there and bring a little cheer?”
Mickie looked down at Wendy.
Danielle looked all around, enthralled by the tension in the air. She knew. We all did. We all knew we were playing this out for Wendy’s pleasure.
Mickie walked over to me but not like before.
The clicking of her pointed boots had dulled, killing time before the clock strikes home. Her hips shifted from side to side, like they’re slowed by a desire to be somewhere else.
Upon reaching me, she sat down and laid her long arms around me, then pressed her lips cold against my cheek. She smiled at me with her mouth while her eyes slashed at me.
I spoke back to her through my eyes, trying to transmit what I felt, what I could not say. I sent an encrypted message that only she could read. I funneled what energy I had left from the two us into it, hoping the infusion would give her the feel of what it was.
I thought she felt it. Was pretty sure she saw it. But it seemed to make her angrier.
Her gaze blistered mine. She sighed through her nose and tightened her smile.
I resigned, felt it was fair, even though it hurt.
I shifted my sadness to a smile, and we turned together to show Wendy.
Wendy put her hands together and pulled up her knees, feet flat on the seat of her chair. Her eyes danced with delight, showing each of us what we already knew about her and about ourselves.
“There!” she said. “All better!”
I kept smiling, along with Mickie and Danielle and Wendy.
I smelled Mickie in the air all around me. It wasn’t the same as before. I could smell her disdain. The hurt had an aroma all its own, accented by anger.
The emptiness of failure opened in me.
Mickie kept smiling. “Why don’t we go outside and swim?”
Wendy’s eyes flared. “Ooo, yes! Let’s do that!”
So we filed out through the flexible fields and onto the lanai. There in the warm night, the pool gave off steam, shone out in brilliant blue.
Danielle ran and flung herself in with the swiftness and familiarity that comes from ownership.
Wendy took tiny steps, eager with anticipation, leading Mickie and I to the water’s edge.
With the other eyes away, Mickie pushed me by the shoulder, hard, sent me stumbling in my step. I looked back at her, hurt. She made making mocking apology on a tilted neck.
We reached the water, and Wendy dipped a toe in. “Feels nice.”
Mickie jabbed her thumb between my ribs, her nail breaking the skin a bit.
I hopped into the water. The rush of soundlessness engulfed me. The warmth welcomed me.
Mickie landed on me. My tailbone touched the bottom. I kept my air, though, and kicked up and around, cleared her reach enough to break the surface and grab more air before she got up behind me and shoved me back under by the shoulders.
She pinned me to the pool’s floor, sat on my pelvis with folded legs.
I eased out my breath, which was hard to do with the force of impact and the pressure she was applying.
As
