“Yes, I guess one must probably never be too proud of one’s children! You never know what can happen to them!” Oh, Father, please, please, please forgive me if I was too proud of my child ... if my words and deeds and choices made you angry!
These thoughts were like a child on the beach trying to fill the dam he has made with sea water. He runs back and forth with his little bucket between the sea and the dam. The sea does not empty and his dam does not fill up. All the activity and the confusing emotions were so totally and completely in vain.
For 22 months I sat at the hospital every day, usually from nine in the morning till nine at night. I was there of my own free will. I decided to put my life on hold, not because I’m brave or special, but simply because, for those 22 months, my whole life was focused on what would happen to my child at that moment on that day. What would his temperature be, his oxygen uptake figures, or would he possibly, just possibly begin to swallow, or – miracle of miracles: could there possibly, just possibly today please please be the beginning of a flickering of movement somewhere, anywhere, in his body? Perhaps today he might indicate in some way that he could hear us … or even see us.
My choices born of necessity did not begin and end with my child’s accident, the 22 months in the hospital and the time after that, or his still ongoing, on-dragging rehabilitation.
A year ago, my son and I (he in a wheelchair, with movement only in his left hand and arm) were held up in our house during an armed robbery.
My husband was shot later and lost one of his kidneys as a result. Once again, we went through months of someone being hospitalised. All the previous clichés did the rounds again and once more I was confronted by unbearable choices.
But once again, God made choices on my behalf when I was too confused to make them myself. In His great might He taught me again that I need never make the choice myself between bitterness and trust, fear or peace of mind, because if you keep asking “please”, you never become bitter, and if you still keep on asking “please”, the fear does not last forever. The choice is actually so easy.
Every person has a choice as to what he or she will do when something terrible has happened in his or her life. You always have several different choices, regardless of the circumstances. Your choice can be to be furious or sad or scared or worried or demanding for the rest of your life. Or your choice can be to know that nothing in life happens by chance. You can choose deliberately to search for grace and peace.
And you also learn that miracles don’t always happen the following day or the moment you ask for them; you also learn that a miracle can be as small or huge as the flickering of movement in your child’s left thumb – with which he begins to write a book. A miracle can also take the form of a swallowing movement or a drawing in of breath without a ventilator – and you learn also that your choice of words in prayer need not be dramatic and highsounding. Sometimes the word please is enough.
I learned that not one of the clichés people are so quick to use holds water in the light of God’s grace, because He doesn’t always allow things to happen to punish people, but sometimes to direct them in a different way. And then, despite weaknesses, He gives them eagles’ wings to rise up far above the negatives.
With time, my choices became easier again, because I was given the Grace to know that, when you set God as your first choice, all other choices are easier. Then the other things work out by themselves.
Therefore my story doesn’t end here; my story has only just begun!
4
An unseen advantage
David Schlachter
Life is full of surprises, and with the pressures of today, following your dreams may seem difficult. The one thing I have learnt, though, is that when you bring the Lord into the equation, tomorrow’s uncertainties are eclipsed by hope, and today’s challenges are filled with joy.
What do you do when an opportunity falls into your lap, unexpectedly, that could change your life in an instant? Most of us would take it and run, although not all opportunities turn out as we think they should and not all life-changing scenarios can seem to be for the better.
Only the Lord could have created an opportunity that was perfect in every way, and met all the desires of my heart.
My short journey of 22 years may not have included many huge decisions as of yet, however, many small decisions have led to big changes. I was told once that we might not see what the puzzle looks like holding one piece – but put them all together and you see the whole picture.
Life is a day to day experience, and while things like money and an academic degree might help in some areas of our lives, there is still a part of us that longs for true happiness and contentment.
My life has definitely been full of surprises and unexpected twists and turns, and yet, right now as I sit typing this, I can honestly look back and see how the Lord has had his hand over me all of the way, and how, without Him, there is no way I would be where I am now.
I want to go back about two years and share with you how quickly the desires of your heart can be met, and hope that you will see how intricate the Lord is, and how He has the best in mind for us.
After finishing school and then going into a year of Architecture, I was at a crossroad as I realised that Architecture wasn’t for me. Should I drop Architecture and hesitantly take up another degree, or should I dive into the unknown and chase a dream lead by hope?
I know that the Lord is in everything, but I knew that if I were to venture on a path with which I was not familiar, it seemed as though I would have to know for sure who He was and what role He played before I just carried on playing in this game we call “life”. You see, singing had always been my number one passion, and I can remember now that feeling of being uncertain about whether I was in the right place in my life, making the right decisions, etc, and I knew something had to change.
I decided to take a step of faith and stop my degree, and rather take a gap year that was focused on singing, but also had the purpose of clarifying whether there was something else I loved as much as singing, and whether it was worth pursuing. The year started off well, I was involved with singing teachers from Reach for the stars, Cindy Dickinson and Denise Ostler, whom I had met halfway through my first year at architecture. They were the ones that helped me act on my love for singing, and continuously fuelled my decision to pursue it, by getting the odd corporate engagement and landing our first residential restaurant gig, every Sunday night for about three months. I was also working at the Physiotherapy department at St. Augustines Hospital to see if Physiotherapy was something I could see myself studying. This was something I had always been interested in, but could never see myself doing for very long. I also got stuck into my studies, which was me trying to complete the matric higher grade physical science syllabus in four months, and trying to get an “A” after not having done it since Grade 9, which I thought was a bit optimistic, but I was going to try anyway. Little did I know that this year and all these new experiences I was embracing, were just stepping stones to what would be the main reason as to why my all important gap year had occurred.
So with the year running smoothly and going as fast as time does, the first five months flew by and almost halfway into the year I had finished my science course, the Sunday gig was coming to an end and I had pretty much stopped going to the hospital, as I learnt that as much as it interests me, I definitely did not love it more than singing.
With everything now ending, and with six months left of the year, my plan of action was inconclusive. I did know, however, that I was going to focus all my attention on singing,
