immediate family now. I lost my father too, when I was ten. I was an only child so after that it was just my mother and me. She … she died six months ago.’
‘Oh, I’m so sorry.’
Ben felt grief and guilt rear their ugly heads and quickly shut them down.
‘After she died, well that’s when I knew I wanted to leave London. But I didn’t think I’d be moving here on my own.’ He ran a hand over his jaw, aware Eva had shifted in her seat and was listening intently.
‘When I was offered this job at the university, it was my partner Samantha who flew up and viewed the house. I was desperate to leave London and start a new life here. We were all set to make the move.’ He paused, took a breath before continuing.
‘Then with a few days to go before the move she told me she’d changed her mind. She didn’t want to leave London, didn’t really like the idea of Scotland after all. So, I came on my own. Which is why I’m now living in a house that is ludicrously big for me,’ he finished with a resigned shrug.
‘That must have been terrible for you. Were you together long?’ Eva asked quietly.
‘Two years.’
‘Quite a long time.’
‘Suppose it is. Although when I look back now I can see we didn’t actually spend that much time together – I’m not even sure how well we knew each other.’ Ben stared into his coffee cup, thinking.
‘Why do you think she changed her mind?’
‘A job opportunity she couldn’t refuse apparently but really I think we wanted different things. She was talking about house parties from London while I was imagining rooms with children running about. We didn’t even discuss it much so I’m not sure what that tells you.’ So absorbed in his own thoughts Ben was almost surprised to look up and see Eva’s gaze on him, her expression understanding.
‘I think I know what you mean. After Jamie was born I wanted to settle down, find a good place for him to grow up. But deep down I don’t think Paul was ready. I think he was still looking for the next adventure.’ There was a pause, the silence between feeling significant in some way and although Ben found himself intrigued, wanting to know more, instinct told him they had each divulged enough for now.
‘Sounds like we both arrived here in difficult circumstances,’ he said simply.
Eva looked down at the table, her fingers tapping the side of her mug, appearing deep in thought. She looked up, her green eyes bright with sudden inspiration.
‘Jamie and I usually make pizzas on Wednesday nights – our midweek treat. Why don’t you join us this week and I could give you some ideas for your house? I have loads of paint charts, colour swatches. And I can give you the names of a heating engineer …’ She looked at him eagerly, making it all sound so simple. A voice inside Ben’s head told him he was supposed to be keeping his distance and this wasn’t a good idea. But at the very same time he heard himself accept her invitation. He felt himself being drawn towards her and was powerless to stop it.
***
‘Mum, how do you work out the circumference of a circle?’
‘Um, not sure. Hang on, I’ll need to have a look.’ Eva had just finished sprinkling cheese on to home-made pizza bases and was now adding sliced tomatoes. Although she made pizzas every week tonight felt different. Knowing Ben would be joining them, she could feel herself fussing and growing nervous, her stomach doing strange little flips. She hoped inviting him had been the right thing to do. She sensed it hadn’t come easily to him, revealing his mother’s death and the end of his relationship. Now that she knew more about him she understood why he’d appeared so tetchy when they first met and was prepared to admit she had formed the wrong impression of him.
She had enjoyed having coffee with him. He’d been easy to talk to – in fact she was surprised how much she’d revealed to him. She brushed away her doubts, telling herself she was simply being neighbourly. He was on his own, life hadn’t gone the way he had planned, and she certainly knew how that felt. She wanted to be friendly and on good terms with her new neighbour and she was genuinely interested in helping him with his house. The confusing part was finding him so attractive.
A new relationship had never entered her head since Paul – not seriously. There were fleeting moments when the idea of having someone was appealing but the reality of it was … well, scary. Meeting Paul when she was so young and then years of being on her own hadn’t exactly left her brimming with confidence in that department. She kept her life simple by focusing on Jamie, the business, and nothing else.
Ben may have nudged certain feelings to the surface but Eva intended to put them straight back down again where they belonged – the risks to her and Jamie were too great. Anyway Ben had just come out of a relationship and Eva could only imagine what Samantha had been like. Probably an ambitious high-flyer, sophisticated and glamorous – basically everything she wasn’t. There was no way Ben would be interested in her so why her thinking was even heading in that direction she didn’t know.
She wiped her hands on a cloth and joined Jamie at the table. ‘Let’s have a look.’ She pulled his book towards her, wishing it was English or history, anything but maths. Eva felt herself jump as the front doorbell sounded.
‘I’ll get it.’ Jamie scampered off to answer it, any excuse to escape. Eva had explained to Jamie that Ben was coming for dinner so they could get to know their neighbour and as she suspected he was unfazed by it.
‘I also said I might give him a few suggestions for decorating. Do you think that’s a good idea?’ she had asked him.
‘Cool, you’re good with all that stuff.’
Eva had felt a little glow of pride. ‘You really think?’
‘Yeah. It’ll be good for you to have something to do.’ He’d given her a sheepish grin.
‘I have plenty to do thank you very much.’ She had swiped him playfully.
Eva now grabbed the clasp from her hair and shook it free as she heard Ben and Jamie talking in the hall. When Ben appeared in the kitchen doorway she tried to act casual but her body instantly reacted to the sight of him. Doing her best to ignore her racing pulse, she smiled a welcome to him.
‘Hi.’ Eva indicated a seat at the table for him. ‘Hope you’re okay with a kitchen supper.’
‘Compared to what I’ve got next door this will be fine dining.’
Eva saw his eyes flit around the room, taking it all in, and she imagined the kitchen next door without the MacKenzies’ warmth and presence to be a cold and lifeless place.
‘Help yourself to a drink.’ Eva indicated glasses, a jug of iced water, and an opened bottle of chilled white wine.
‘Unless there’s anything else you’d prefer?’
‘No this is great, thanks,’ he replied taking a seat beside Jamie who was hunched over his jotter again, tapping a pencil against his head. ‘What subject are you doing?’ Ben asked him.
‘Maths,’ Jamie moaned. ‘But I’m kinda stuck.’
‘Would
