had given up. He was beginning to find his feet again – running workshops and tutorials, preparing lectures – it all came back to him.
As he felt his old life begin to ebb away, so he began to feel more settled here and that included thinking about Eva Harris. It was slightly unnerving how easily thoughts of her seemed to flow into his mind and invade his thinking. Opening up to her in the past few days and revealing so much about himself had felt alien to him at first. When he arrived here, his plan had been to concentrate on work and keep contact with people to a minimum. But as soon as he was in her presence something changed; he felt a different person.
He had pondered if the arrangement for Eva to decorate his house was a wise one, but not for long. He knew there was no way he was going to turn down her offer. There was something appealing about the idea of her being around. Just the thought of her in his house made it feel warmer somehow, as if she was breathing new life into it. He told himself he shouldn’t overthink it. She was being friendly and helpful – that was all. Although he hadn’t expected her offer, it didn’t totally surprise him either.
She had an energy and openness about her that he found compelling. She had genuinely sounded keen to do the work and she clearly knew exactly what she was doing. Plus it would give him time to decide what to do. Whatever his plans for the house it wouldn’t do any harm to have the front room decorated. He had enjoyed sitting and sharing pizza and helping Jamie with his homework far more than he cared to admit. Jamie seemed a great kid, polite and friendly, and he was genuinely looking forward to helping him again and, of course, teaching him to play chess.
He had no doubt Eva was an amazing mother – that much was obvious and he admired her strength for coping the way she did. He had no intentions of intruding where he wasn’t wanted or needed but he wondered if she missed having someone, if she still grieved for her husband, still longed for him. She had suggested that they had wanted different things but that didn’t mean they hadn’t been committed to each other and nothing could take away the bond of having a child together.
Eva had come round a couple of days ago and he’d helped her shift the furniture from the front room into the hall where she’d thrown dust sheets over everything. He’d given her back the spare keys and they’d agreed she would come and go when Jamie was at school. This morning he’d noticed she had made a start stripping the wallpaper but he was leaving her to it, not wanting her to think he was checking up on her.
Managing to drag his thoughts away from Eva he unlocked his drawer and pulled out a pile of essays for marking. He took the first essay from the top and read the first sentence when a knock at the door interrupted him.
‘Hi, Ben.’
Ben looked up and silently cursed when he saw Kat Morgan. A newly minted PhD graduate, she was working under the direction of Professor Drummond and had just started a two-year post to gain experience planning research projects and managing students. Ben was all for ambition, but hers came with a pushiness he had no time for.
Ben suspected her casual clothes were in fact precisely calculated for maximum effect – her top just low enough to reveal a hint of cleavage, the jeans tight enough to leave little to the imagination. Her dark hair fell below her shoulders and her face was a mask of heavy make-up. When he’d first been introduced to her she had smiled, her handshake lingering that little bit too long. His first instinct had been to keep his distance and nothing had changed that, except all these unannounced visits to his office were making that difficult to do. She closed the door behind her and strolled over, perching herself on the corner of his desk.
‘How’re you doing?’ she asked coyly as Ben automatically moved back in his seat.
‘Um, good thanks.’
‘It’s almost five o clock on Friday, Ben. What are you still doing at your desk?’
He patted the pile of essays in front of him. ‘Just about to start some marking,’ he told her.
‘A few of us going for drinks – fancy joining us?’
Ben shook his head apologetically. ‘Not tonight thanks. I’m going to stay on for a bit and then get home.’
‘I’ll let you off this time.’ She petted her lips in an exaggerated manner and twisted a coil of hair round her finger. ‘But you haven’t forgotten the seminar next week? Remember I’m collecting you.’
Damn, he’d forgotten he’d agreed to that. Professor Drummond had asked Ben to attend a two-day seminar at Glasgow University. Kat had cornered him a few days ago, suggesting she pick him up, and Ben hadn’t been quick enough to come up with an excuse. He’d been busy at the time and had tried to think of some way to extract himself from the situation but failed miserably.
‘Er, sure. I’ll see you then,’ he muttered. She looked at him expectantly.
‘I’ll need your address silly, won’t I?’ Reluctantly he gave his address, just happy to have her leave his office but not before she gave a coquettish little wave. Ben grimaced and turned his attention back to his marking.
After a few fruitless minutes Ben knew his concentration had been broken and realizing he was hungry decided to head back to his house. He could make something to eat and carry on with his marking there. He packed up and started the walk home, the peace and quiet of St Andrews still a welcome novelty.
Just as he turned a corner he saw Jamie ahead of him, sauntering along seemingly in a world of his own. He was laden down with bags, his jacket and a racquet, which clattered to the ground just as Ben caught up with him. He reached down to pick it up, smiling up at Jamie.
‘Hello, Jamie.’
‘Hi, Ben!’ The boy grinned back and Ben thought he looked happy to have company.
‘I can carry this for you. You look a bit weighed down. Are you heading home?’
‘Thanks. We were playing football and one of the boys hurt his leg so we waited for his mum to come and collect him and then she decided he needed to go to the hospital so I’m, like, really late. Mum’s gonna be mad with me.’
Ben smiled to himself. He hadn’t exactly been hurrying. ‘Does she know you’re on your way home now?’
‘Er, no.’
‘Why don’t you give her a quick call – I know you’ll be home in a few minutes but it’ll be good for her to know. Always best to keep your mum happy, eh?’ He winked conspiratorially.
Ben remembered that age, a tricky time. Hormones, girls, schoolwork … lots of changes to cope with. Like Jamie he’d lost his father and he knew how it felt to be an only child. He recalled his own mother worrying about him and with no siblings, being her sole focus could be overpowering at times. Only when he was older did he realize how special it was to have that unconditional love. With the call made, they continued on their way.
‘Do you have a game of football tomorrow?’ Ben asked.
‘Yeah,’ Jamie sighed heavily.
‘You don’t sound too happy about it – are you up against a difficult team?’
‘Nah, we’ll beat them no bother. It’s after the game. Some of the boys are going to the cinema to see the new Star Wars film but I can’t go ’cos I promised Mum I’d go to a training class with Hamish.’
‘Ah
