too, remember?”
“It’s just so amazing.” He took her hand again and she reveled in the closeness as they made their way through to the nursery.
This time she took Grace and Jadon took Gretchen. Although Gretchen was very sleepy, they traded off after a while.
Louis Downer came in to make rounds while they were there. “Hi, Jadon. Alyssa, how are you feeling today?”
“I’m fine, although I’m a little worried about how the girls still aren’t suckling very much,” she admitted.
“I know. But we’ll give them tube feedings so they’ll still grow fine.” He glanced at the babies they held in their respective grasps. “Which one is Gretchen?”
“I have Gretchen,” Alyssa said. “Why?”
“I’d like to examine her first. Her chest X-ray didn’t look as good as I would have liked this morning.”
Alarmed, she glanced at Jadon as she handed the infant to the neonatologist. “Do you think she’s sick?”
“Just something to keep an eye on,” he assured her, as he took the tiny twin. He gently set her back in her isolette, and then unwrapped the blanket from around her chest so he could listen. After he’d removed the stethoscope from his ears, he picked up her clipboard and reviewed her vital signs.
Alyssa craned her neck, so she could see, too.
“Well?” Jadon asked, when Louis set the clipboard aside and turned back toward them.
“She’s started to run a slight fever,” Louis admitted. “I’m going to treat her with IV antibiotics because I suspect she’s showing early signs of pneumonia.”
JADON wanted to reassure Alyssa that Gretchen would be all right, but it was difficult to put aside his own fears. She was so tiny, it was hard to imagine how her immune system would fight off something as serious as pneumonia. And there was the additional concern about how well her premature kidneys would tolerate the antibiotics. Not to mention how she’d maintain her oxygenation levels with lungs full of infection.
There was no doubt the next twenty-four hours would be critical for Gretchen.
And there was nothing he could do to help her.
Alyssa refused to leave. Watching her keeping vigil over Gretchen was difficult. After several hours Jadon had had enough. “You need some rest,” he pointed out in a low tone. “And it’s close to dinnertime. Let’s go back to your room.”
“No. I want to stay here.” Alyssa had been staring at the monitor over Gretchen’s isolette for so long she was starting to look like a zombie. It was as if her emotions had completely shut down. He understood how she felt—he’d always done the same thing when faced with one of Jack’s crises, shutting away the pain so it couldn’t hurt. Still, he didn’t like the idea of Alyssa sitting by the girls’ isolettes all night long.
“Alyssa, look at me,” he demanded in a sharp tone, breaking through her zombie-like stare.
Reluctantly, she turned to meet his gaze, her eyes dull with resigned acceptance.
“Wearing yourself to the brink of exhaustion isn’t good for you or for Grace. We have two daughters, remember? You need to eat, to keep up your strength and your nutrition, as you’ve told me you want to continue to provide breast milk for them.”
Alyssa slowly nodded, as if agreeing with him. But she didn’t move to leave.
He intended to keep pushing, to do what was best no matter what it took. He reached down, grasped her hand and tugged her to her feet. “Let’s go. We need to head back to your room.”
For a heart-stopping moment Alyssa looked as if she might burst into tears, but she allowed herself to be drawn upright. “You’re right. I know you are. But I just can’t bear to leave her. What if something happens while we’re gone?”
He understood her angst because he felt it, too. He pulled her into his arms, enfolding her in a warm hug. “I know it’s difficult to leave, but she’ll be okay.”
Alyssa didn’t push him away as he half expected, but clung to him, burying her face against his chest, as if she couldn’t stand under her own power. He could feel the dampness of her tears soaking his shirt. He held her close for countless minutes as he silently offered his strength and support, drawing strength from her closeness as well.
It was much easier to face the hardship together.
Although hardships also had the power to drag people apart, too.
Finally she drew a ragged breath and lifted her head. “Do you think Carla will call us if anything changes?”
He lifted his hands to cradle her face, using his thumbs to wipe away her tears. “Yes, I know she will. But I honestly think Gretchen is going to be fine. Louis Downer is a good doctor. Our daughter is getting the best care available. Besides, Gretch is a fighter. She’ll be fine, you’ll see.”
“She barely weighs three pounds,” Alyssa murmured, swinging around to stare down at Gretchen lying in her isolette. Both babies had lost a few ounces after the delivery, which was completely normal.
“I know,” he soothed, despite the grim certainty of knowing there were no guarantees. “But think about all these other tiny babies, most of them less than three pounds, and they’re doing all right.”
Alyssa’s mouth turned up in a watery smile. “They are all very tiny, aren’t they? You’re right, Gretchen is one of the larger babies in here. She’ll fight this and win.”
“Of course she will.” He slid his arm around her waist, turning her slowly away from the babies and encouraging her to walk along with him out of the nursery.
“How did she get pneumonia so quickly?” she fretted as they made their way back to her room.
“She was in utero longer than Grace,” he reminded her. “Maybe she aspirated during the delivery.”
He’d heard the story about his and Jack’s birth and the circumstances were eerily similar to those of Grace and Gretchen. Except he’d been the smaller, younger baby, in fact, much smaller than Gretchen.
He slammed a door on those wayward thoughts. The last thing he wanted to do was to draw comparisons between his daughters and how events had unfolded between him and his brother. There were plenty of neonates who got sick. A little pneumonia wasn’t the end of the world.
And no matter what, he was going to pay attention to both of his children—focusing on their strengths and offering encouragement no matter how different their personalities.
He managed to keep Alyssa resting in her room for a full hour while they ate dinner, but when they’d finished, she insisted on returning to the nursery.
He accompanied her back to see Grace and Gretchen, noting the nursing staff had been required to change
