face it, if I had been the older twin, and Jack the younger, smaller twin, don’t you think it’s possible our lives would have been different?”
She swallowed hard, hating to admit he might have a point. No wonder he’d been so adamant that she pay attention to Grace, too, during Gretchen’s illness. Even now, despite his reassurances otherwise, he was worried that history might repeat itself with Grace and Gretchen.
Glancing down at Grace, who’d fallen asleep, Alyssa traced the tip of her index finger over her daughter’s dainty features, and vowed not to let that happen.
“At least now that we know, we won’t make the same mistake as parents,” she said slowly.
Jadon didn’t answer as she stood and placed the sleeping Grace back into her isolette.
“I know you said you needed time,” Jadon said in a low voice. “But I want you to know the offer of staying with me, at least for a while, is still open. I’m concerned about your ability to manage caring for the twins without help.”
Alyssa wavered. He was being the responsible one again. Jadon had opened up about himself, more than he ever had. Which offered some hope. Yet she knew, once she took that step of going home with him, it would be very hard to go back.
Should she fight for her love? Or would that be a constant uphill battle? And was she strong enough to handle the impact of Jack’s illness on top of caring for Grace and Gretchen?
“At least think about it,” Jadon advised. “I’m working night shift tonight and tomorrow night, so it’s not as if I’ll be there much.”
Reassuring her he wouldn’t be there much didn’t sound promising. Were they back to being parents in name only? Ironic that she’d already come to feel as if his house was a home.
Their home.
She missed Jadon. And she missed her lopsided Charlie Brown Christmas tree. She needed to take a chance, to see if she could somehow bridge the gap between them.
“All right,” she agreed. “But only as a trial to see how well I can manage with the girls.”
ALYSS Asecond-guessed her decision several times over as she followed Jadon’s car through the streets to his house.
Yet when she entered the living room, surprised to find a variety of brand-new Christmas decorations, including a wreath over the fireplace, a nativity scene and tiny twinkling lights strung around the living-room windows, she realized how wonderful it felt to be there with him.
“Here, I’ll take your coat,” Jadon said, treating her as a guest rather than someone who might be living there. She hid a pang of disappointment.
“Thanks.” She crossed over to her lopsided Charlie Brown Christmas tree and gave the drooping branches a welcoming pat. “I see you didn’t toss him out for a bigger, better tree,” she observed. “And you’ve been giving him water.”
“Of course I’ve been giving him water. The needles are already starting to fall off. They don’t need another excuse.”
She smiled, knowing he was right. The poor tree would be lucky to last until the holiday.
“So why didn’t you replace him, then?”
“Because this tree obviously held a special place in your heart, and that was more important than how the room looked.”
A warm feeling filled her chest. Jadon did care. And if he cared, maybe he could learn to love. He certainly understood her better than she’d thought.
“I…uh, put all the baby stuff into the bedroom,” Jadon said, coming up to stand beside her.
Surprised, she glanced up at him. “You did?”
He nodded and she brushed past him, filling her senses with his musky scent as she went over to investigate. In the doorway of the spare bedroom she stopped and stared, realizing he’d done far more than simply set up the baby things.
He’d fully decorated the entire nursery.
“Oh, my,” she whispered, her heart melting at the obvious care and concern Jadon had put into every detail. Not only did he have the two cribs set up, and the dressers with changing tables across their tops strategically placed near each one, but he’d painted the walls a soft pink, had hung a border of tiny pink and white ballerina slippers around the entire room, and displayed two portraits of ballerinas on the walls above each crib. In one corner of the room he’d set a gleaming wooden rocker with comfy pink cushions, the perfect spot to rock and nurse the babies.
Completely overwhelmed, she didn’t know what to say. The Christmas decorations were special, but this additional surprise was beyond words. Maybe he didn’t talk about his feelings much, but his actions had definitely shown them. “Jadon, this is absolutely beautiful.”
His smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “I hoped you’d like it. And don’t worry about the sleeping arrangements. I’d planned on putting a sleeper sofa into my office anyway, so I can sleep on the living-room sofa until it’s delivered. In the meantime, you can have the bedroom.”
Sleeping arrangements? She glanced at him, but he avoided direct eye contact, confirming her suspicions. He’d obviously planned on the two of them sharing the master bedroom.
Because he cared about her? Or was starting to love her?
Swallowing hard, she simply nodded, knowing she still wanted to share a bedroom with him, badly.
“So this is what you were working on while I was in the hospital,” she guessed, changing the subject to something safer. No wonder he’d looked so awful those few days, as if he hadn’t had any sleep. By the extent of the completed nursery, he couldn’t have slept much if at all. “Not just the Christmas decorations, but the nursery, too.”
“Yeah. I wanted it all to be a surprise.” He looked uncomfortable for a few moments, then said, “I’m going to take a short nap as I’m working tonight.”
“Of course. Use the bedroom. Don’t argue,” she interjected, as he opened his mouth to do just that. “It’s going to be difficult enough for you to sleep in the middle of the day, especially with how sunny it is, without trying to do that in the middle of the living room.”
He hesitated, but then acquiesced, murmuring, “Thanks,” as he headed into the bedroom, gently closing the door behind him.
Alyssa felt curiously lonely without Jadon’s presence. In fact, suddenly she felt very much like the guest and not someone who belonged here. She tried to rest for a bit in the living room, thrilled at the festive atmosphere, but then found herself going back into the nursery and picking up one of the matching pink elephants as she settled into the rocking chair. It was all too easy to imagine how cozy things would be once the girls came home.
But this arrangement was only temporary, wasn’t it?
They couldn’t just simply share parenting duties and nothing else. A family in name only?
