laugh snapped her gaze back to his face.
‘I’m not doing much better, Alina. I never knew grief could be so overwhelming, so soul-draining. You brought some light into my dark world. Now you’re here—so sweet and beautiful, so vulnerable.’
He leant forward, hands clasped between spread knees.
‘I can’t deny the physical attraction. Can’t fathom whether it’s linked with knowing you’re carrying Louise’s baby. Tonight—the music, dancing with you in my arms—I was in a new world. I frightened you, and I’m sorry—’
‘No. It wasn’t you,’ she cut in. ‘There’ve been so many first-for-a-long-times for me, it’s bewildering. I feel like I’ve been thrown back into mainstream city living without a guidebook.’
She suddenly realised she was mimicking his stance, sharing his desire for their plan to succeed. Something shifted inside her, as if the extra tightening around her heart that had come when she’d heard about Louise and Leon had slipped a few notches. The old pain remained. She’d accepted only death would bring that to an end.
‘It’s only been four days. I didn’t expect to stay in Australia—much less with you.’ She smiled, watched as his eyes softened and his brow cleared. His answering smile lifted her heart. ‘I’m rusty in all the social niceties of sharing a home and...and things.’
He shifted as if to stand, sank back. ‘I don’t have a good track record there. I’ve only had two live-in relationships, neither here, and neither lasting more than five months. Both confirmed my belief that I’m not cut out for domesticity. I’m too pragmatic—and, as one of them pointed out, I’ve no romance in my soul. Assuming I have a soul.’
‘That’s better for us, isn’t it?’ Although did she really want him to stop his gentle touches, his scorching looks? His kisses?
‘No.’ Sharp. Instant.
He came to sit at the other end of the couch, folding one leg up, spreading one arm along the back. She wriggled into her corner and listened.
‘We need to create an illusion of instant attraction and overpowering passion. I’ve never been demonstrative with girlfriends in public. Little more than hand-holding and social greetings. So a good way to convince people our affair was different is to show affection in front of them.’
‘You mean kiss if someone’s watching?’
‘Alina, we’re implying that we had a short, tempestuous affair that resulted in your becoming pregnant. That you’re here with me now will tell everyone you mean more than any other woman I’ve dated. Which is true in the nicest way. Our limited knowledge of each other doesn’t matter—displaying our irresistible attraction does.’
‘So somewhere between how we’ve been and how Louise and Leon were?’ Not a hard task, considering the way she reacted to him each time they touched. As long as she kept her heart secure.
‘Definitely less blatant—though I envied them their intimacy. I can’t imagine having such a close bond with anyone. I’m aware I’ll have to change the way I think and act, make it credible to friends and family. It’s not only me who’ll be affected by our success.’
She locked eyes with his. ‘The baby.’
‘Our baby. It’s essential my parents believe that. You have to be comfortable with me as your partner, alone and in company.’
‘I can.’ She heard the slight tremor. ‘I will be.’ Better. Stronger.
Ethan slid his leg off the couch. ‘Come here.’
That persuasive honey tone. Those compelling cobalt eyes.
She sidled along until there was barely a hand’s length between them. His fingers lightly traced her cheek. His arm slid around her, loose yet secure.
‘Any time you feel uneasy, tell me.’
His slow smile had her leaning in closer.
‘Any time you feel like taking the initiative, go right ahead.’
He stroked her hair, laid her head on his shoulder and cradled her against his body. His heart beat strong and steady under her hand, an echo of hers. His voice, his cologne, everything about him was becoming familiar, safe. It was a feeling she refused to analyse.
‘We’ll keep to ourselves for a couple of weeks. When you’re ready I’d like to arrange dinner with the couple I hope will agree to be our witnesses. If we’re out and meet anyone I know I’ll introduce you only by name. After the wedding I’ll tell my parents, and then the whole world can know.’
‘All at once?’ she teased, liking the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed down at her.
She also liked the sound of the couple he went on to describe—friends he’d known for years, who’d also known and visited Louise and Leon.
They made small talk, sat in quiet contemplation, still in an amicable embrace. When it was time to retire it was she who raised her face for his tender goodnight kiss.
* * *
Ethan leant against the wall, his gaze fixed on the light under her door, not quite sure what had happened tonight. A week ago he’d have claimed the scenario he’d suggested held no qualms for him, apart from the discomfort of their public displays.
He’d have bet his finest hotel that his romantic emotions would not have been involved, and still didn’t quite believe they were. The trauma of losing his sister and best friend, the shock of Alina’s pregnancy, plus his determination to take responsibility for the child were a formidable combination. It was enough to scramble anyone’s senses.
He still believed his decisions had been made with logic and foresight, with the child’s future wellbeing his main consideration. Main? He meant only. He’d be a single father, with all the problems that entailed. Public displays had to be kept objective—surface emotion only.
Yet he couldn’t deny that Alina slipped under his guard whenever they were together, popped into his thoughts when they weren’t.
The light went out. He whispered, ‘Pleasant dreams...’ and went to his big, lonely bed.
* * *
Alina woke early, had coffee brewing and the table set for breakfast by the time Ethan walked down the hallway dressed for work.
‘Good morning.’ He sat opposite and poured his favourite sugarbomb cereal. ‘Do you want a lift anywhere this morning?’
‘No.’ Too quick. Too sharp.
Last night their decision had sounded plausible, simple to put into practice. This morning, as water had cascaded over her in the shower, she’d decided she wanted some alone time, to mull it over and fully accept its implications in her head.
‘I’d like to practise on the laptop. I bet there are functions I’ve never heard of.’
‘There are probably programs I’ve never used either. Any questions you have I’ll try to answer later. With luck, and few interruptions, I might only need a few hours
