idea of him. It was easier to be part of a couple. You didn’t have to go through as much heartbreak, like what she was experiencing now.
“You know what? There’s something I need to go do.”
“Okay...you want me to come with you?”
“No. I need to do this one on my own.” Micah jumped up and headed to the door, grabbing her phone and purse off the counter.
“Call me if you need me.”
* * *
It took a lot of courage. She had been fighting it for weeks, debating whether or not it was a good idea. But she gave in. It was something that had to be done. She had no hope of moving on until she did this.
She pulled her car slightly off the narrow drive to allow other cars to pass if they happened to come this way. She parked right in front of the sign that read Devotion and stepped out into the brisk wind.
It was a cold and dreary day. The skies were dark and gray, the clouds heavy with the possibility of rain. The weather fit the occasion.
Micah walked through the grass, up a slight hill. Her footsteps weaved a path between headstones and grave markers. The names were all familiar to her, but only because it was a path she had traveled many times.
Lowering herself to the ground, she swiped her hand across the cold, hard surface of his headstone. Her fingers gently traced each curve in his name. Stretching out, she laid her head in the grass next to the stone. It was something she had done many times before. She used to spend hours here, talking to the stone as if it could hear, as if it had a direct line to Drew’s ear. She had always been so desperate for a connection. Something. Anything.
Micah had something to say to him now, and this had been the only place she could think of to do it. It seemed appropriate for a final goodbye. The last few months had been rough. She had gone from one extreme to the other, trying to find a middle ground with her emotions.
It was time—time to let it all go.
She inhaled deeply, breathing in the cool air, allowing it to calm her tumultuous heart. The ground below her was cold and hard, but she remained there, wanting to be close to him one last time.
“Drew...” She spoke out loud to nothing but marble. “I’ve decided that it’s time I let you go. I don’t want to be in denial any longer or remain captive to memories of you. I don’t want to feel this anger and bitterness or this pain and loss anymore. Instead, I choose to accept the fact that you are gone. That that chapter of my life is long over and it’s time to look forward. I want to remember the good. You were a good man and you were good to me. I want to think back on you as a fond memory. I’ve loved you for most of my life and I know a part of me always will. But it’s time. I need to move on and make some new memories of my own.”
She stayed there for a moment longer, letting it all sink in. She sat up, ran her hand across his name one more time. “Goodbye, Drew.”
Rain began to fall, soft at first. It splashed on her cheek and mingled with her tears. She felt it glide down her face and drop to her chest. It was silly, but she had always considered rain to be a sign from the heavens. It was as if Drew was responding, letting her go, finally.
She stood there in a place of previous devotion and let the rain envelop her. Turning her face up to the sky, she allowed the drops to cleanse her of the wreckage and the grief that had consumed her.
Peace. She felt peace.
* * *
Feeling lighter than she had in years, Micah headed home. Of course, she hadn’t solved all her problems, but at least she was free of the burden that had weighed her down for so long.
As she walked in the door, Sabina must have noticed the bounce in her step, too. “Well, whatever errand you just ran must have helped.”
“Yes. It did.”
“Good.”
Micah’s phone chirped. Incoming text message.
Can we pretend this morning never happened?
It was from Josh. That was easy for him to say. Her phone chirped again.
I don’t know what happened. I’m the worst friend ever. Forgive me?
Should she just go with it, pretend she hadn’t gotten a small taste of heaven this morning? If she did it might rescue their quickly sinking friendship. If she didn’t, would she be saying goodbye to him, too?
“Hey, Jamie will be here in, like, an hour. Wants to do coffee if you want to come.” Sabina interrupted her thoughts.
“Um, yeah. Sure.”
She looked back down at Josh’s text, torn.
One goodbye was enough for today.
All’s forgiven and forgotten. Don’t even know what you are talking about.
Her phone signaled another message.
You’re the best <3
An hour later she sat at a table surrounded by her friends in their favorite little coffee shop.
“Did Josh have to work?” Hanna asked as she blew on her steaming cup of coffee.
“Yeah. He got called in at the last minute.” Leave it to Micah to be the only one who knew Josh’s comings and goings. Did anyone see the oddity in that? She was mortified if so. No one needed to know the feelings she now possessed. They were to remain under lock and key.
“What a shame. I haven’t seen him since the party.”
“Well, with your schedule it’s no wonder you get to see anyone.”
“You’re right. But I can’t slow down now. I am finally getting somewhere with my career. I can slow down when I’m dead.”
Micah took a tentative sip of her coffee.
“Hey, what did you guys think of Josh’s new girlfriend?”
Micah almost choked. Leave it to Sabina to go there.
“Her name is Taylor.” Jamie, leaning back against the window, spoke casually, as if the one statement were self-explanatory.
“So?” The three girls all looked at one another in puzzlement.
“So...if they get married she would be Taylor Taylor.”
They all broke out in laughter, Micah forcing a laugh so as not to stand out. It was a little funny to think about, if she ignored the part about him getting married.
“I don’t think anyone has to worry about that.” Hanna waved a hand dismissively. “He goes through women just as often as Sabina goes through men.”
“Hey, that hurts.” Sabina swatted at her.
Jamie
