that a blip?
She started walking out of the store. “Well, in that case, it’s 777-9311.” She busted out laughing.
“That’s not your number, that’s a song. Oh, why you playing me, Mami?”
Carla let the door close, all the while chuckling to herself. Once outside, she tried to decide if she should go back to the wake and ride back to the house with her daughter in the family limousine provided by the funeral home, or head home on foot. If she didn’t ride back with Brat, then the girl would be in the limo all by herself.
Like it or not, they were the only family either of them had left. And without her own mother there as the go-between, it was going to be hard getting her daughter to see that.
Carla reasoned that if he was really gone, then it would be safe to go back. And she sure didn’t feel like walking home. She headed back to the funeral parlor, puffing on a cigarette and trying to think of a way around the latest crazy predicament in her life. But as she came up to the funeral home, a large hand snatched her into an alley.
Her pack of cigarettes fell into a puddle of water, and she reared up to curse whoever had grabbed her.
“What the hell!” She struggled and tried to pull away, only to get slammed against the brick building for her trouble. She looked up at the idiot who held her, intent on telling the fool she didn’t have any money or anything worth stealing, but then she saw it was him.
Dang!
“You think you slick or something? You know I been looking for you. I put the word out, and you act like you couldn’t even get at a brother. Since I had to hunt you down, I ought to bust you upside your damn head.” The same mean, angry face she still saw in her nightmares glared down at her.
She had to strain her neck to really get a good look at the man who towered above her in a threatening manner.
“I didn’t know you was looking for me. I hadn’t heard anything. Shoot, I didn’t even know you were out. How’d that happen?” She hoped her game face was still in place. Because dealing with this animal without one would be foolish, to say the least.
His lips curled into a sneer. “It happened. That’s all you need to know.”
“Well, that’s good.” She smiled and tried the old batting of the eyes, knowing it was probably useless with this one. “I’m glad. But since you out and all, then you probably know my mother passed away. We burying her and all, so—”
“Yeah, my condolences. I just saw yo’ mama the other day, when I stopped by there looking for you. I guess she ain’t tell you I stopped by, huh? Nah, I guess she wouldn’t have, since she seemed pretty heated that I even rang her doorbell. And I see yo’ little daughter is home and all grown up.” He licked his lips in a disgusting manner, and an evil leer crossed his face.
If he stopped by Mama’s house, that might have been enough to make her have a stroke and die. Shoot! I’m so sorry, Mama.
Carla mentally kicked herself. Once again, her mistakes had made her mother suffer. She made a silent promise to her mother and herself. She would try and get it right this time. She was going to get herself and her child out of Paterson, and she was finally going to be a good mother. She had to…
“No, my mother didn’t mention you had stopped by.” She couldn’t help but narrow her eyes, and she knew her voice had lost some of its fake pleasantness. She knew she needed to keep layering it on, if she wanted to escape the alley unscathed. But it was hard to do, when she thought about her mother lying in a casket inside.
“So, I see your boy beat that murder rap. You seen him yet?”
Answering his question would be too tricky. Even though they were no longer together, she knew this fool still had an irrational and psychotic jealous streak, especially when it came to her ex. She looked down at the pavement and thought for a minute.
“No.”
The flat of his hand moved as soon as she uttered the word and knocked her upside the head so hard her head bounced against the brick wall. “That’s for lying. I know you saw him.” He slapped her upside the head again. “And that’s a warning. Stay away from him. Your baby’s daddy is still off-limits to you. Just ’cause we ain’t together no more don’t mean any of that has changed.”
Carla tried her best to keep her eyes focused on the ground, because if she looked at him, she would probably lose it. She didn’t want to give him the benefit of her tears. And she wasn’t sure looking in his smug, arrogant face wouldn’t make her cuss him out.
Cussing him would no doubt have her explaining a bunch of bruises to Penny. And if she was going to get Penny to take her to Los Angeles, she needed to play it clean.
No stress. No drama. No idiots from her past set on ruining her, especially not this idiot.
He took her chin in his hand and lifted her face. Leaning in, he covered her mouth with his, and she let him kiss her.
“You still belong to me. And I’m only going to give you a little bit more time to come to that conclusion. So you go ahead and bury yo’ mama and send yo’ little daughter back wherever the hell she was, and be sure to stay away from that punk Gerald, and I’ll get at you soon.” He walked off down the alley and Carla shuddered.
She had to find a way to get Penny to take her to L.A.—as soon as possible.
Chapter 2
Food, food and more food. Smells of cinnamon and caramelized brown sugar wafted from the glazed ham and the candied yams. Another whiff of the air, and the homey aroma of melted cheese mixed with butter, milk and pasta baked to perfection assaulted the senses.
Too bad Penny hadn’t had a real appetite since she’d gotten the news.
From Tuesday evening, when she got the phone call from Carla telling her Big Mama had passed away, until the Saturday afternoon after the funeral, Penny had pretty much been running on fumes. Sometimes she remembered to eat a bite, but most times not.
Every member of Mount Zion must have brought a dish over to Big Mama’s house after the funeral and interment. And they were all there, milling around, making small talk and sharing memories.
Penny wanted them all to leave, so she could go out into the backyard, sit on the bench under the big oak tree and pretend none of it was happening. She forced smiles and made chitchat, because Big Mama had raised her to be polite. Because of Big Mama, she tried to hold it together.
She could be strong this time. She could prevail over loss this time, especially when she had nothing else to lose. Penny wrapped her arms around herself and closed her eyes for a moment in an effort to push her thoughts back. She couldn’t allow herself to dredge up past losses, not if she wanted to make it through the rest of the day.
She let good times fill her mind.
Being back in Big Mama’s little yellow and white house on Warren Street brought back all kinds of memories. Memories of roller-skating around the corner and having to come in before the streetlights came on. Memories of playing kickball and tag in the PS School #10 playground. Memories of buying a twenty-five-cent grape juice, a bag of barbecue potato chips, a fat pickle and a couple of packs of Now and
