him. “For taking you from me. I just lost it.”
He wasn’t moved by her confession. If anything, his jaw clenched tighter and his eyes narrowed more. All Nathan could think was that because of Pam, he and Amanda had lost seven years together. “She couldn’t take me from you because I was never with you.”
She dropped into a chair, wrapped her arms around her middle and rocked. “I know. And I’m sorry. I really am. For everything. I wasted so much time. But, Nathan—”
“No, there’s no excuse for any of this, Pam,” he told her flatly. “And if Amanda wants to press charges against you, I’ll throw you into a cell so fast, the world will be a blur.”
Her stomach sank. “You’re going to tell her?”
“No,” he said. “You are.”
“Oh, God.”
“Yeah,” Nathan went on. “See, Amanda’s going to marry me as soon as I get around to telling her how things are going to be. And I’m not going to be the one to break the news that her only family betrayed her.”
Pam winced at that, but Nathan didn’t give a good damn if her feelings were hurt. “Fine,” she said. “I’ll tell her.”
“Do it fast.” He stalked out of the house and slammed the door behind him.
Seven years wasted. But it wasn’t all Pam’s fault and he knew it. As much as he’d like to forget, Nathan had to acknowledge that if he’d had more faith in Amanda and more damn spine, he never would have believed a word of those rumors. Instead, he’d been young enough and stupid enough to let lies throw his life off track.
Well, no more.
Nathan was still fighting off the anger Pam had churned up in him when he parked outside his house. In no mood to talk to Jake, he was glad it was late enough that his brother and his family were already at dinner.
He got out of his car, slammed the door and took a minute to calm himself before going inside to see Amanda. Like he told Pam, he didn’t want to be the one to tell her that her own sister had been behind the harassment aimed at her. And if he went in there furious, she’d worm the information out of him whether he wanted to tell her or not.
Still, hard to believe that Pam was the vandal. And the one who’d started all the vicious rumors. But hell, at least he’d solved one mystery. Alex’s disappearance was still chewing on Nathan. He was making calls, talking to people and, so far, he had nothing. As Alex’s friend, Nathan was worried. As a cop, he was frustrated.
Shaking his head, he stared at his house and in spite of everything, the tension inside him easing. Lights were on, and it struck him suddenly that he really liked coming home to this. Always before, he’d leave work and drive up to an empty house, dark windows and a silence that grew thicker with every passing moment. But for the last week, Amanda had been here and she’d etched herself into every damn corner of that house—as well as his heart.
If she left him today—an option that would not be allowed to happen—he still would see her all over his house. He would hear her laugh, catch her scent on every stray breeze, reach for her across his bed.
Even after the rough day he’d had, Nathan smiled as he noted the pots of bright yellow and blue flowers Amanda had set on the porch yesterday. His chest tightened as he recalled her walking along the wraparound porch, muttering to herself about rockers and matching chairs and tables and how nice it would be to sit out on a summer night and watch the moon crawl across the sky.
He wanted that. With her. Wanted to come home to a well-lit house holding the woman he loved. All right, yes, he loved her. He hadn’t told her, of course, because their past was still between them and he knew that though she might not admit it, she didn’t completely trust him again yet. He couldn’t blame her—hell, thinking back about what had happened between them years ago, how they’d ended, made him want to kick his own ass.
But he’d give her everything else. His name. His home. His children. And one day, he’d confess his love and she’d believe him. She’d trust him to not hurt her again as he had before.
He had to have her. Hell, he couldn’t draw a breath inside that house without taking the essence of her into his soul. It had always been that way between them. Seven years ago, he’d just been too young to appreciate what he had when he had it. Now he was going to set things right.
Clutching his hat in one fist, he started for the porch. Time to get this done. He’d walk right in there and tell her they were getting married. Amanda was a logical sort of woman. She’d see it was the best plan right off. They’d have a small wedding, here on the ranch. Nathan took the front steps two at a time, a smile on his face.
The front door flew open just as he approached it and Amanda was standing there, staring at him through wide, wonder-filled eyes.
“Amanda?” He stopped dead. “Are you okay?”
“I’m pregnant.”
Okay, Amanda thought, she’d had that planned a lot better in her mind. She hadn’t meant to just blurt it out like that, but on the other hand, even if she had taken ten or fifteen minutes to tell him, the result would’ve be the same.
She looked up at him and waited what felt like forever for his reaction. Would he be as happy as she was? Would he be upset? Say something!
He scrubbed one hand across his face. “You’re what?”
“Pregnant.” It felt so good to say. What felt like champagne bubbles were swimming through her system, making her nearly giddy.
“You’re sure?”
“Positive.” She laughed a little as she’d been doing all afternoon since taking that wonderful little test that Terri had picked up for her. “At least, that’s what the test said. Positive.”
He shook his head. “How?”
“Really?”
He laughed. “That’s not what I meant. We used condoms.”
“They don’t always work, you know.” She paused and added, “They didn’t work seven years ago, either.”
“I remember.” He reached out and skimmed his fingers along her cheek.
Memories swirled around them, thickening the air with the haunting ghosts of shattered dreams and broken promises. They’d made an agreement to leave the past behind, but could it ever really be forgotten? Weren’t you supposed to not dismiss your past, but learn from it?
Well, Amanda had. She’d lived through the pain, built a life, grown and changed. But the dreams of her heart were still there. Nathan. A family. She caught his hand in hers and held tight. Amanda had had a couple of hours to get used to this news and she figured it would take Nathan at least a few minutes to do the same. She wanted him to be happy about it, but the honest truth was, even if he didn’t want the baby, she did.
Seven
