in her tight jeans with each enthusiastic step, the way her curls bounced when her head flicked from side to side as she looked at the antique framed paintings hanging on the wall, and the slender fingers of one hand gliding up the balustrade, the other hand encircling her glass. She was gorgeous, intelligent and sexy. And watching her, he suspected he was smitten. He wasn’t sure if it could be more than that but it was still more than he had imagined ever feeling again.
By the time they had reached the large oak door of the master bedroom, Charlie knew he couldn’t resist her any longer. He wanted to spend the night in the refurbished room. But not alone. He wanted to spend the night with Juliet. She had made him feel more alive than he had in years. She, and her little girl, had made him believe there could be life outside the hospital. He had been alone for so long, but now this sexy, desirable woman had stirred feelings that he’d never thought he would feel in his body and soul the way he did at that moment. And if all they had was that moment, he couldn’t let it slip away without taking a chance.
Juliet tentatively opened the heavy door to the darkened room and Charlie brushed her shoulder gently as he reached around for the light. Her heart unexpectedly began to race with his touch. Nervously she swallowed and bit the inside of her cheek. She was at the entrance to Charlie’s bedroom and she couldn’t see anything. But she realised that she wasn’t scared.
She couldn’t see the future but suddenly that didn’t matter either. She didn’t need to have everything laid out. She felt safe. Safer than she could remember feeling before. The fleeting warmth of his body against hers caused butterflies to stir. As each second passed with him so close to her, she loosened her tether to fear. Pushing away the promises she had made to never trust again. With his warm breath on her neck, she felt herself feeling free to fall into whatever this could be. She didn’t want to run away from her feelings.
As his fingers flicked on the light switch, Juliet found herself looking around at the elegant decor, in the soft lighting. But her focus was the imposing four-poster bed that dominated the room...and dominated her thoughts. It could be their bed for the night.
Suddenly everything felt right. The man standing so close to her was everything she could hope for and he was within her reach.
That bed would be theirs.
Her breathing became laboured with anticipation as she felt Charlie’s strong hands on her hips. Gently but purposefully he swivelled her around to face him. Her mouth was only inches from his and it made the ache inside her almost overwhelming. With only the sound of their hearts beating, he searched her face for permission to kiss her and she smiled her consent as she reached up on her tiptoes to meet his lips. Taking her glass and placing it with his on the large oak dresser, Charlie scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bed, where he laid her down and gently began to peel away her clothing. He slipped off her boots, tugged down her jeans and then slid her arms and body free of her jumper, revealing her white lace underwear.
Juliet watched and admired as he pulled free all of his own clothing, discarding each piece roughly to the floor. Finally, gloriously naked, he loosened her hair from its ponytail and then began to slowly remove the last remnants of clothing keeping them apart. With every part of his mouth and body he began to pleasure Juliet in ways she had not thought possible and ways she did not want to end. Willingly and wantonly, she gave into all of her desires for the man who had awakened the woman in her. And over the hours he loved her that night she gave a little part of her heart to him as they crossed the divide from colleagues to lovers.
* * *
Charlie looked over at Juliet still asleep. She was beautiful and loving and everything a man could desire. She had given herself to him willingly and, while it had been the most amazing night, in the soft light streaming from the hallway his actions hit home hard. He had taken the chance. For the first time in a very long time he hadn’t denied his feelings but as he lay there looking out into the still of the darkness outside he knew he should have fought this harder. He should never have invited her to dinner, let alone to his bedroom. He regretted everything about the night. The sight of her peacefully sleeping tugged at his heart. A heart so damaged that it hadn’t felt anything but pain for so long.
And now the pain returned two-fold. He had betrayed his resolve to live his life without love out of respect for Alice and now there was a second burden. He would be forced to hurt Juliet. A very special woman he did not want to hurt. A woman who did not deserve to be hurt. She was loving and trusting and she had given herself to him openly and honestly. He knew everything there was to know about her.
But she did not know everything about him. She had no idea that he could not let her into his life. Last night was all they would share. He could not accept happiness. He didn’t deserve it. As he felt the warmth of her body against his he suddenly felt overwhelmed by the guilt that had been his constant companion for two years. Thoughts of Juliet and what might have been had their lives been different filled his mind. Her scent was on every part of his body and buried the guilt for those few hours but he knew it was only temporary. It wouldn’t last and then he would bring her down too. She deserved better than to be with a man who would never be free to love her. He had to set her free.
‘Good morning,’ she softly said as she lifted herself up to meet his lips.
His mouth felt the warmth of hers but he ended the kiss before it deepened. The need for her was as strong in the morning as the night before but now he knew he had to fight it. It should never have gone that far.
‘I’m sorry I fell asleep. I should have left a while ago. You invited me for dinner, not a sleepover.’
He sat bolt upright. If he held her close to him he would give in to his desire. He would take her again and feel her warm soft skin against his and that would make what he had to do more difficult. And more painful for both of them.
‘That was my fault as much as yours. I guess we just got carried away by the heat of the moment. Yesterday was quite an intense day. But I’ll get you some breakfast before you leave,’ he told her as he lifted the covers, swung his legs down and found his boxer shorts and then a heavy winter robe lying on the chair beside the bed. ‘I’m sure I can rustle up some toast for us. I’m going to head into the hospital and check on the quads and my other patients.’
‘Is there something wrong?’
‘No,’ he lied. ‘I just think we should get going. Last night was...well...special but I’m sure you agree not something we should repeat. It’d make working together difficult for the short time you still have here and neither of us would want that.’
Each word was carefully chosen to hide any level of emotion. What he wanted to do was to pull her into his arms and make love to her again, but he couldn’t. He couldn’t surrender to the emotions surging through him after they’d spent the night together. He feared his heart and soul were still in pieces and he needed to accept that in the harsh light of the morning. He was damaged and she needed a man who was still whole. Her tenderness and honesty made him feel worse. But he couldn’t prolong what he knew he had to do. End it before it began. Not because he didn’t care about her but because he feared caring too much.
‘I’m really confused, Charlie. I won’t lie,’ she said as she pulled the covers up around her. ‘After last night and...after what happened between us, why are you so distant to me this morning? You sound so cold and...just nothing like you were last night. Why are you in such a hurry for me to leave?’
‘I’m not being cold. I’m being honest. Last night was great but we both need to see it for what it really is.’
‘And what is that?’
‘A great night
