inside me
between the me who wanted to be normal
and the me who wanted to leave
and go somewhere else.
One day I screamed it out
in the middle of that tangled forest
Please!
I shouted.
Someone save me!
But no one did.
There was only one voice.
The voice was me
saying I was doomed
to live in a world
where I did not belong.
That Was Then
It’s a weird thing.
You find yourself
to be sixteen years old
and the voice in your head
changes.
It’s not your voice
anymore.
(Where did my voice go?)
(What the hell is happening to me?)
It’s the voice of
a girl.
Yes, a girl.
Her voice is beautiful
and she’s talking to me.
Yes
talking directly to me.
It went like this:
I was walking home from school
not thinking
about much of anything.
My mind was empty.
Relaxed.
This was a totally new thing
for me.
I was always agitated
about something.
Now this extremely weird
calm.
And then
boom. I hear her.
Declan
she says.
Declan.
I’m sorry to
barge in like this.
It didn’t seem like a voice inside.
I was sure it was someone talking.
I looked around but there were only cars and trees
and a cat
but I was sure it was not the cat
talking.
It will take a while
to explain myself
she said.
She had a soft and kind voice.
A most wonderful accent
and some kind of funny, beautiful
way of speaking.
Who are you?
I asked.
Rebecca
she said.
How do you know my name?
Well, I’m inside your head, aren’t I?
Are you real?
Yes, very real.
Then let me see you.
Close your eyes.
I closed them.
Can you see me?
Holy shit.
Is that good or bad?
You look like a normal girl.
I’m not really.
Not really what?
Normal, I mean not
normal in the normal sense.
Why?
We should get to know
each other first.
Polite Introductions and Such
I said
I have to sit down
So I found bench
sat down
and tried to remember
how to breathe.
I’ve scared you
she said. Sorry.
No.
I mean yes.
I knew this would be confusing for you.
How did you know?
I know because I know you.
I’ve known you for quite a while.
How can that be?
It will be hard to explain.
Try.
Let me start by saying
it took a long time to make this connection
this bridge.
I looked around, my mind reeling.
What bridge?
The
