how you can hear me
see me.
None of this was happening out loud.
It was all in my head.
But when I closed my eyes again
I could still see her clearly.
How do you do this?
I built the bridge
to be with you.
Why me?
And I guess I must have said that out loud because
guys from school were walking by and they
looked at me like I was crazy.
Weirdo
one said.
Nutjob
said the other.
Rattled
Yes, rattled.
I wanted the girl
the girl voice
the girl image
to leave me alone
so I could think straight.
Do you want me to go?
she said.
No.
Yes.
Wait.
Can you read my thoughts?
Yes.
But …
I know. But it’s okay.
I know you.
But I don’t know you.
You will.
If you let me.
And then
she was gone
and the voice in my head
(my own voice)
was just me saying
What the hell is going on?
Boy Alone on a Park Bench
I’ve often felt lonely but this was worse.
This was alone alone. Exponentially alone.
And I didn’t understand why.
I felt like someone had pulled the plug
that made me me.
I needed to talk to a flesh-and-blood type human being.
So I called Jonesy.
John Jones is his real name but everyone calls him
Jonesy.
He is smart and sad; that’s his thing.
He gets an A in every class
even in math and chemistry
but he’s never happy with himself or with the world.
You look at him and wonder what he is thinking
why he seems so unhappy.
When he answers his cell phone he just says
Ullo.
Just like that.
And it’s like he’s expecting bad news.
Ullo.
Jonesy, it’s me.
Deck?
What’s wrong?
I explained about the voice in my head.
It’s really a girl’s voice?
Yeah and I can see her too.
What’s she look like?
Normal. But kind of hot.
Normal but hot. Hmm.
I think I’m losing it.
I think I’ve gone over the edge.
I know the feeling.
It passes.
What should I do?
Is she still there
in your head I mean?
No, she thinks she scared me.
So she left.
Where’d she go?
I dunno.
Think she’ll come back?
I hope so. I got a lot of questions.
Deck?
What?
You’re either mentally ill
or very lucky.
Testing One Two Three
Yes, that’s what I heard her saying
in the middle of my dream.
Is it okay to be here?
she asked in the middle of a dream.
I had been dreaming about being on a boat that was on fire.
Then you are just part of my imagination
I said.
Well yes and no.
Which is it?
I have to explain about the bridge first.
Right, the bridge.
This is an experiment.
Being here in your dream.
What
