techniques, we encourage you to use these skills on an everyday basis. Please fill out the Assertive Communication Log to record the incidents where you had the opportunity to practice communicating your feelings of anger.
ASSERTIVE COMMUNICATION LOG
Date: Time:
Setting:
Person(s) Involved:
What were you angry about?
How did you express your anger to the other person(s)?
How did the other person(s) respond to your expression of anger?
How did you, in turn, respond to their statements or feedback?
How successful or effective do you feel you were in expressing your anger? Did you resolve the problem? Please explain.
What, if anything, would you have said or done differently?
SECTION 2 ANTISOCIAL BEHAVIOR
Therapist's Overview HOW I HAVE HURT OTHERS
GOALS OF THE EXERCISE
1 Identify specific behaviors that have been engaged in to hurt others.
2 Identify the consequences of hurtful behavior.
3 Increase awareness of how antisocial behavior has specifically hurt others.
4 Indicate the steps that will be taken to make amends or restitution for hurt caused to others.
ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS FOR WHICH THIS EXERCISE MAY BE MOST USEFUL
Anger Control Problems
Legal Conflicts
Substance Use
SUGGESTIONS FOR PROCESSING THIS EXERCISE WITH THE CLIENT
Minimization and denial are traits that often accompany antisocial behavior patterns. This exercise is designed to increase sensitivity to antisocial behaviors that cause others pain. Confrontation may be necessary to bring the client to acknowledge behaviors that are not included in the checklist. Be alert to the antisocial personality trait of projection; that is, the client may try to place blame for their behavior on anyone but themselves. Role reversal may be necessary to help the client feel the pain of their behavior on others.
EXERCISE 2.A HOW I HAVE HURT OTHERS
We are capable of hurting others in many different ways. This assignment will help you become more aware of various behaviors that have a hurtful impact on others. Sometimes we are very aware that we are hurting someone with our behavior, while at other times we do not even seem to notice it. Review the list of hurtful behaviors that follow and put a check mark next to those that you have engaged in and that have resulted in pain for others.
Hurtful Behaviors
| ______________ Dishonesty | ______________ Sex abuse |
| ______________ Disloyalty | ______________ Unfaithfulness |
| ______________ Physical assault | ______________ Verbal attacks |
| ______________ Stealing | ______________ Irresponsibility |
| ______________ Unkindness | ______________ Insensitivity |
| ______________ Blaming | ______________ Threatening |
| ______________ Illegal acts | ______________ Weapon use |
| ______________ Substance abuse | ______________ Name calling |
| ______________ Job loss | ______________ Unkept promises |
1 Describe three situations where you have hurt others through engaging in one of the behaviors listed.Situation A:Situation B:Situation C:
2 Describe how your behavior affected others. How were they hurt?Situation A:Situation B:Situation C:
3 What might you do to make amends for your hurtful behavior toward others in these three situations?Situation A:Situation B:Situation C:
Therapist's Overview LETTER OF APOLOGY
GOALS OF THE EXERCISE
1 Increase awareness of hurtful behavior toward others.
2 Increase sensitivity toward the impact of hurtful behavior on others.
3 Indicate the steps that will be taken to make amends or restitution for hurt caused to others.
4 Offer sincere apology through written letter for how antisocial or irresponsible behavior has negatively affected others.
ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS FOR WHICH THIS EXERCISE MAY BE MOST USEFUL
Anger Control Problems
Family Conflict
Intimate Relationship Conflicts
Legal Conflicts
Substance Use
SUGGESTIONS FOR PROCESSING THIS EXERCISE WITH THE CLIENT
Hurtful behavior toward others is easily minimized or denied in terms of who is responsible for it or the impact it has on others. This assignment increases sensitivity toward the impact that hurtful behavior has had on others. In processing the exercise, it is important that the client include all elements of a constructive apology and avoid projection or minimization. Review each letter of apology to make sure it contains all the necessary elements. Evaluate whether the client demonstrates genuine feelings of regret, shame, or guilt. Clearly confront denial and emphasize the negative impact of insensitive behaviors.
EXERCISE 2.B LETTER OF APOLOGY
After we become aware of the pain we have caused someone else through our own unkind behavior, we must try to find a way to heal the hurt and make amends. Many times just saying “I'm sorry” is not enough. It can be helpful if the apology is accompanied by a written note acknowledging causing the pain and suggesting how you could have done things differently. This assignment asks you to describe three incidents in which you have hurt others. It then asks you to construct a brief letter of apology for each of these
