Three Hurtful Incidents
Describe for each of three incidents who was hurt, what you did to hurt them, how they felt about what you did, how you feel now about what you did, and how you could have acted more kindly.
Incident #1:
Incident #2:
Incident #3:
Apology
Write a letter of apology to each of the people who were hurt in each of the three incidents described (on a separate piece of paper). Include in your letter of apology a description of what you did to hurt them, your perception of how your actions must have affected them, how you feel today about your actions, and what you wished you would have done in the place of your hurtful behavior.
Therapist's Overview THREE ACTS OF KINDNESS
GOALS OF THE EXERCISE
1 List three actions that will be performed that will be acts of kindness and thoughtfulness toward others.
2 Develop and demonstrate a healthy sense of respect for social norms, the rights of others, and a need for honesty.
3 Demonstrate caring, kindness, and empathy toward other people on a consistent basis.
ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS FOR WHICH THIS EXERCISE MAY BE MOST USEFUL
Anger Control Problems
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)—Adult
Impulse Control Disorder
Legal Conflicts
Type A Behavior
SUGGESTIONS FOR PROCESSING THIS EXERCISE WITH THE CLIENT
As the name implies, the client is instructed to engage in three acts of kindness, caring, or thoughtfulness over the course of a week. The acts of kindness or caring can be spontaneous or planned. The client can perform the acts of kindness with someone they know very well or with a total stranger. The client may also want to “undo” previous harmful or responsible acts by engaging in thoughtful or responsible behaviors with others. (NOTE: The number of altruistic acts can be modified per week.) It is hoped that the client will develop a routine of helping others or engaging in prosocial behaviors on a regular basis. The client is asked to complete a questionnaire on the following page after performing the altruistic act. Keeping a journal of the altruistic acts will allow the client to process experiences with the therapist. Furthermore, the therapist has the opportunity to reinforce the client's kind or thoughtful behaviors.
EXERCISE 2.C THREE ACTS OF KINDNESS
Please record times when you performed an act of kindness for others. Bring the completed questionnaires back to your next therapy session to process with your therapist.
Date ________________________________
Setting (e.g., home, workplace, community)
Recipient(s) of kindness
What was your specific act of kindness?
How did you feel about performing the act of kindness?
How did the other person(s) respond to your act of kindness?
How did their response make you feel?
Would you perform this act of kindness again in the future? __________ yes __________ no
If no, please explain.
What are three other acts of kindness you can perform in the future?
(Optional: This question does not have to be answered each time you complete the form.)
SECTION 3 ANXIETY
Therapist's Overview ANALYZE THE PROBABILITY OF A FEARED EVENT
GOALS OF THE EXERCISE
1 Develop an awareness of the irrational nature of the fear and anxiety.
2 Examine the probability of the negative expectation occurring and its consequences.
3 Identify distorted self‐talk that mediates the anxiety response.
4 Recognize that the feared outcome will not terminate the ability to function.
5 Resolve the core conflict that is the source of the anxiety.
ADDITIONAL PROBLEMS FOR WHICH THIS EXERCISE MAY BE MOST USEFUL
Dependency
Depression—Unipolar
Low Self‐Esteem
Obsessive‐Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
Phobia
Social Anxiety
Suicidal Ideation
SUGGESTIONS FOR PROCESSING THIS EXERCISE WITH THE CLIENT
Support the client in taking the risk of looking boldly and fairly at the basis for anxiety. Help the client to acknowledge the irrational basis for anxiety and reinforce rational outcomes of feared situations that will not devastate the client's life. Pay special attention to the distorted cognitions that feed the fear and suggest realistic positive self‐talk to counteract this strong mediation effect.
EXERCISE 3.A ANALYZE THE PROBABILITY OF A FEARED EVENT
Many of our fears grow in their intensity without us ever stopping to analyze their exact nature, their causes, their probabilities of occurrence, the amount of control we might have over the situation, and the very real outcomes that are possible if our fears were realized. This exercise will help you thoroughly review your fears. As you rationally analyze the nature and cause of your fear and its real outcome, the fear will dissipate and your ability to cope will increase. Take this step‐by‐step approach in looking at two of your greatest fears and then bring this analysis to your counselor for a thorough processing and reinforcement of coping skills.
1 My First Fear isWhat is the fear or anxiety about?What is the possibility on a scale of 1 (very unlikely) to 10 (inevitable) that the feared outcome will actually happen? Circle one number.12345678910What self‐talk messages do you give yourself that make the fear grow?What are the very real consequences if the feared outcome did occur?What can you do to control the outcome of the situation that you fear?What is the worst possible real outcome if your fear
