the characters. Also there are some answers to questions and you have the chance to draw a conclusion on your own. It is not hard to notice that until we do not go deeply into this topic, everything seems right, good, like it should be. Well, what is that got to do with you – who and how is choosing a husband or a wife? All people are independent, they will figure it out in their own. What is more, it seems not really correctly to stick one’s nose into this question.
You can not pry into and leave things as they are, but when you remember that the reason for most divorces is a woman up to 50 years who suddenly (after the marriage) found that she had married the wrong person, it is clear that "sticking a nose" is simply necessary. That she was not prepared for ‘life as a couple’ with her husband and she was incompatible with him – like other 47 % of couples which are incongruous. What is that compatibility? How could she be so superficial in cognition of her future husband? How could she marry him? Now highlight this point in bold and check your compatibility on fundamental issues for you before the wedding.
Next time you will pass by the registry office and see happy couples waiting for their turn to be married, you can boldly delete every second couple from the family relationships. Very soon the market of brides and grooms will have these broken hearts after the first incompatibility. And again with the same zealous zeal they will look for the soul mate. But now they will be already in the status of «experienced», "knowing life", and after the second divorce they will become «professionals», just not in the way is needed and so on.
Maybe all that is what you think and you do not talk to anyone. You can find some practical and judicious people with whom the communication will be easygoing in order to listen to other points of view, to listen to yourself from the side. After reading there is every likelihood that you will discover a lot of new things and change your mind. You will start a new movement – "Happiness to every home". Let’s start with your own.
6. All we need is love
Remember what feelings fill most of us when we start watching a beautiful romantic movie or a clip about a love story, when the mawkish sweetly frames replace each other… At first the main characters do not know each other and live their own lives, waiting and believing that they will meet a fabulous love. They make attempts to find it, get disappointed, do their daily chores, but we are already beginning to feel this clue, skillfully twisted by the author or the director. The clue that slowly begins to twist into bright, satin, fluttering in the wind tapes of beautiful relationships. It starts when the first sympathy and timid steps to meet each other halfway appear. When we watch the movie – we begin to empathize. Even the pulse of the majority can be pleasantly quickened, because all these scenes can resonate with our own experience. We wait for this love, these emotions, look for them and often meet only on the screens of cinemas or in the books. Why? This genre of books is very popular and popular for hundreds of years.
AND NOW PLEASE ASK YOURSELF: "HOW MANY HAPPY FAMILIES HAVE I EVER SEEN WHERE BOTH THE ROMANCE AND SENSUAL RELATIONSHIPS PERSIST FOR DECADES?" GUESS THE ANSWER IS – TOO LITTLE!
And now please ask yourself: "How many happy families have I ever seen where both the romance and sensual relationships persist for decades?" Guess the answer is – too little! So we read and we look in order to (at least) empathize and be happy for a while. Even the tears may well up when the final chords sound in these fictional stories always with gorgeous background or fabulous beauty of landscapes behind. Moreover, the music from these episodes is always strongly associated with them and we will always remember it. Songs and melodies remain in our memory because with the help of music our consciousness gives us these beautiful sketches that we saw on the screen. It is extremely pleasant for us – love, feelings and experiences, for which we are sometimes ready to go to the end of the world as the characters of the film. You can hear a very quiet "eh…" from rising from the seats people in the cinema. The pressing wave of the happy end of the love story engulfs the audience. In that sound «eh» hide pleasure, quiet joy, a bit of sadness and hope.
It would be easier to give you a good, real example from somebody’s life at the beginning of the book, and it could set the tone for the whole story. But no, I was not lucky, I lived a little more than 5 265 000 hours and have not yet had the opportunity to meet such an example. Maybe you have such?
Despite the age the overwhelming majority of us want something kin to it! We want to be happy as the heroes of the novel or even better – brighter, more fervently and we dream about the person to whom we can give ourselves and give him or her everything unreservedly. It is very important to stop here for a while and read the next paragraph more slowly.
Full-fledged happiness of two hearts is when both want to give themselves to another, to take care of the beloved with creative constancy, but not other combinations. For example, one gives himself to love, and he «tolerates» the other, or both, burned out after the bouquet period or the first years of marriage, live as with a relative and nothing more – there are no rushing embraces at a run, no surprises and romance, no flirting before the coming night and etc. Under the creative constancy is indicated the whole family life, in which at all stages – in 20 or when you are 45, or 59 – there is a place for care, affection and warm kind speech. Creativity – it is about variety of forms of caring for a spouse. It can be almost limitless if you really love. Furthermore, it is so good when there is permanence in different family traditions.
We all want to experience love every day of our lives, not envy the heroes of the films. Someone who has an unspent supply of tendance, who knows how to appreciate your actions and efforts in everyday life, in maintaining a comfortable family hearth should be next to you. And these relations must be built very thoroughly, taking into account the unmistakable choice. Now we will dive into the issues of choice from different sides to reveal something new to you, even if it seems strange or idealized at first glance.
7. The begging of the success – to learn how to analyze
Now let's tear love and happiness limb from limb. How can you manage to build your halcyon fate from the very beginning – from choosing the right candidate? Of course, this process has many other factors – after the choice, after the wedding, but we will talk about it later. As you will see, the choice of a husband or a wife is an insoluble rebus for the majority.
In no instance I do not deny that love should move the bride and groom to conclude a marriage alliance. In the book you will not find any information, any sentence or any word about it, it is made in the belief that it does not take a rocket scientist that love and attraction are on the surface.
It's just that love and appetence to each other – the way we used to understand it – are risk considerations, the reasons that separate people, if they are not thinking, contemplating or making any thought process – to think who is in front of you. Sometimes people do not think at all. We say only some beautiful words of love and longing in order to cover up our ignorance or unwillingness to analyze. So what should you pay attention to when choosing a groom, if love remains in default general and fundamental?
IT'S JUST THAT LOVE AND APPETENCE TO EACH OTHER – THE WAY WE USED TO UNDERSTAND IT – ARE RISK CONSIDERATIONS, THE REASONS THAT SEPARATE PEOPLE, IF THEY ARE NOT THINKING, CONTEMPLATING OR MAKING ANY THOUGHT PROCESS – TO THINK WHO IS IN FRONT OF YOU.
The trick is that if we do not know thoroughly our future spouse, husband or wife, love remains as if «naked», and it should be dressed not only in beautiful clothes from our romantic ideas. Love should be firstly dressed in practical clothes, which are not afraid of any quarrels that make us feel the cold inside of our hearts, or any conflicts of values, collisions of characters which make us nervous and heated, or any household fittings, or showers of tears, or reproaches or even insults.
Such «clothes» everyone should gather
