theories. Quite the opposite they argued that this BP incident is a mad gesture of the ‘Peeing British’ Club activists. This is absurd! It is as clear as day that this was an incitement created not by the honest competitors of British Petroleum such as Standard Oil or Exxon, but by the haters of Blockhead. The timing of the explosion, of course, indicts the offenders, since it happened soon after the news of the changed name became public. But, moreover, the explosion occurred on the infamous day of the 20th of April, Adolf Hitler’s birthday, the very same day when all the dissenters of freedom, who are ready to commit any anti-freedom crime, celebrate. Of course, as Blockhead expostulated himself at the foot of the Riga monument, he proved that he is, and always will be on the side of liberty.
Unfortunately, as the case concerns the Peeing Briton’s opponents the official investigation yet again finds itself at a dead end. And this time again it boiled down to some inane reasons. Supposedly the construction of the unnecessary well suddenly became slanted, or the improper cementing was at fault, or some other nonsense was to blame for the catastrophe.
And now the offenders may believe that they have got achieved their aim because BP has decided to postpone the former decision about the change of the logo. But the refinery workers from the temporarily deceased ‘Deepwater Horizon’ responded to this divertissement, by handing in the mass appeal to be accepted into the ‘Peeing British’ Club. They added that as soon as the drowned platform, the size of two football fields, could be re-established they would walk its perimeter holding Blockhead’s portraits.
They with Us[72]
Two WTOs are now ready to become ideological sponsors of the ‘Peeing British’ Club (not to be mistaken for the World Toilet Organization or World Tragedy Organization). Among the supporters the independent Amnesty International can also be noticed (just in case).
The Club also has self-appointed supporters among the informal organizations (you can’t watch them all!), listing all from neoliberal to nudist and extremist. There are many romantics stomping the Earth, but few of them could have claimed their ideals with such outstanding expressiveness.
The support for the movement, that has been ever increasing in front of our very eyes, taking into its orbit more and more social groups. The voices of protest are becoming more and more prominent from the feminist organizations. They accuse the Club of inventing yet another form of male chauvinism. These charges are not unsound and have to be accepted as a signal that it is too early to wear the laurels, and the final shaping of the movement is far from its completion. Indeed, the Jeanneke Pis born in 1985 is quite grown up now and needs to be properly allocated.
There is room for growth – a lot of things need to be done!
P. S
The book about the legendary Briton is already included in the latest anthologies’ on the adventures of our remarkable contemporaries
The announcements of the multiplying cases of imitation of Blockhead, and the scandals connected with him, keep flooding the media. There are so many of those, that there is no opportunity whatsoever to report all of these episodes because each instigator wants to steal a piece for themselves. Besides, it is not easy anymore to tell true facts from the unsound reporters’ fantasies, from which the thoughtful reader is to be protected.
But the story of Richie himself is much more factual and wonderful, than even the story of the monument. Besides, they parted their ways. The monument acquired a life of its own and our hero had a life markedly different. He thought that his followers were trying to copy Blockhead’s looks, and failed to express the depth of his freedom-loving thought.
The life of a person and his ideas is not at all like the straight flight of an arrow, and no one can ever be sure what will happen after the next curve. Nature alone can follow laws, but a human being only follows his own rules and when they dream they don’t even need those.
Part 2
In Exile
Take him Home!
After his memorable performance in Riga on the 11 November 2006 Richard P. Blockhead was sent to his historical motherland with honours. At first, still incensed, the United Kingdom wanted to award him to Australia, thus upholding tradition that the convicts should be send farther away from the metropolis’. But Australia declined the gift, and reminded the UK that they had stopped taking such presents back in 1868; plus, they have enough blockheads of their own. So, from the airport, Richie was delivered under a convoy to a practically uninhabited peninsula of Loch Ness, where he happened to have been originally from.
Rick was forced to promise to the authorities that he would not leave this depth of Scotland for the habitually more civilised parts without an extreme need. And if such a case would occur he would not stay for more than a minute.
Loch Ness is located in the central part of the Northern Highlands of Scotland
In His Ancestral Castle
Richard lived practically like a hermit in Urquhart Castle – the abandoned family Blockhead estate, on the shores of the lake – avoiding meeting anyone. He was like a rock thrown into water. He caused ripples on the surface, but he himself had to go to the bottom. Only now, in exile he started to realise how exhausting it is to support the reputation of appropriacy and benevolence. But solitude is like a secret that cannot be kept for a long time, and sooner or later a person will want to reveal his guarded treasure.
And yet, at the beginning Rick lived completely alone trying to comprehend what has really happened, and how did his performance become a symbol for the new ideals and liberation from the suffocating chains of culture. He responded to himself at once: there are no heroes anymore. There are no saints. Skills exist, but saints and heroes do not. So he must have hit the tender points of the contemporaries.
He often mused on the well-known expression: ‘Freedom of one, ends at the tip of the nose of the other.’ He thought that lately some men have grown excessively long noses and that life itself became a thick forest. They only talk of freedom, but in reality they don’t even allow you to make a step aside. How is that?! Raise your nose and twist around all you want, right?!
Some pierced their noses and attached bells to them
‘A Weightless Soul’ – this is the name of a human, thought Dick. ‘And it does not want any responsibility or duty to anyone. He thought about it some more and concluded that the souls of many people find appropriate bodies, live in them, but are too fearful to leave its confines. People like this are born like things, and live like things, and promote others to treat them like things. But in Richie’s body a life force free from the self-blame whirls, foams up, and spills over. So for those who may trespass the castle’s territory by accident, Richie put up his personal motto onto the fence: ‘Person is that who can be anyone’. Just so that the visitors would know who they are dealing with here, and be aware that the owner of the castle may do anything his heart desires. On the gate where people usually warn the passers-by that they have an angry dog he has a plaque:
‘Dear guests,
The International Amnesty organization bulletin ‘
