Legend of the Peeing briton. Павел Тюрин

1

Lāčplēsis Day (Latvian: Lāčplēša Diena) is celebrated on November 11, the victory over the Bermontians at the battle of Riga (please see the details on p. 201).

2

Drawings, photographs and illustrations have been authorised for use in this book by Mr. Richard P. Blockhead’s trustees, administration of The Peeing British Club and The VIP Club. If you have any questions or comments about the accuracy of Nessie’s (Nessiteras rhombopteryx) visual depictions please send your requests to: The Loch Ness Museum, Inverness-shire, IV63 6TU, Scotland. Or to the Richard Blockhead’s and Nessie’s museum curator in Latvia at: [email protected]

3

As the further history shows this ‘celebratory’ astonishing incident turned into a new English extreme activity. It was later followed by the Irish, Portuguese, and other Caucasian nationalities.

4

According to another legend, simplified but nevertheless heroic, this little boy saved the city from the threat of the imminent fire. By peeing, he extinguished the burning wick beneath the gunpowder that had been laid out by the enemy under the city walls. Hence the boy became famous far beyond Flanders.

5

Why on that day, why on the Lāčplēsis Day, why on the 11 November? One version explains that Richard Blockhead chose this date subconsciously. He may have had a personal motivation to do so, of which he was not aware at the time. In fact, Richard avenged his Scottish girlfriend whom Lāčplēsis had humiliated back in the ancient times. The readers will learn the details on page 108 when they get there.

6

A Latvian town of Abrene (arch. Pytalovo) and the counties surrounding it were given to Russia in 1944.

7

If we take a careful look at the Briton’s map we will also notice that a Lithuanian town of Palanga has also become a part of Latvia once more. Palanga was considered Latvian territory from 1919 to 1921.

8

It is not uncommon for great books to borrow a plot from real events. Daniel Defoe wrote his legend of Robinson Crusoe when he heard the story of Alexander Selkirk, the sailor. They say that Dostoyevsky borrowed the plot for Crime and Punishment from the police cases. So this legend of peeing Briton was also born from the real event reported by the Criminal-inform agency.

9

A small newspaper ‘Rīga dimd’ (‘Riga Resonance’) takes its title from a Latvian folk song with a chorus Ai jai jā, tral lalā, kas to Rīgu dimdināj which can be translated as: Oh-la-la, tral-la-la who excited Riga so?

10

‘Chizhyk-Pyzhik’ is an old, famous Russian nursery rhyme about a fuzzy, feathery little bird (Siskin). In 1994 the municipal authorities of St. Petersburg installed a bronze statue of ‘Chizhik-Pyzhik’ on the bank of the River Fontanka in the city. Later the statue was repeatedly stolen.

11

This is inspired by Elisa Doolittle’s line ‘Somebody pinched it; and what I say is, them as pinched it done her in’ as written by Bernard Shaw in the ‘Pygmalion’. After all Elisa took the English language lessons from a famous professor.

12

The Peeing British Club issues a general club magazine ‘We miss only You!’ and ‘Come together! ‘ As well as the illustrated album ‘Famous Fountains’.

13

In the Russian language the word ‘to pee’ looks identical to the word ‘to write’, thus the phrase ‘peeing précis’ rather than the original meaning of ‘peeing precision’, is reminiscent of writing and conveys the allusion to Précis Writing.

14

Annual musical almanac: ‘Musical exercises’.

15

As of now anybody who looks up the notes on page 216 of the current book can play the anthem.

16

Pages 165–166 present objective scientific findings on patients with gout as having high levels of uric acid in the blood stream and its impact on the increased cognitive function.

17

WTO issues a daily edition of ‘WC’ or ‘World Closet’.

18

A special issue of a Pious Bulletin: ‘Spiritual holes of the sectarianism’.

19

In the Russian language the words Peeing Briton (Писающий Британец) can be abbreviated as ПБ. The same two letters also stand for the (Полиция Безопасности) Safety Police or (Побойся Бога) Fear God.

20

‘Ethnology Made Easy’ Journal.

21

In the original language the stranger says: ‘Скоты’, which means cattle, but can also refer to the Scottish nation.

22

An annual Journal ‘Cinema-catharsis’.

23

Journal ‘Рas de deux – Рas de trois’.

24

Back then the youthful embarrassment did not gain wide publicity. Meanwhile, one Andrew Knysh took Richie’s place in Barbie’s heart and talked her into a nightclub to be a background dancer. He also sarcastically explained Richie’s actions by his self-determining desire to explore. To explore his trousers’ length, width, and especially depth. As the story shows the clever remark was prophetic and Rick found himself in the depth of Europe, in Latvia where he later did his heroic deed.

25

Rick must have been as impressed by the ballet as the drama critic Clive Barnes once was when he saw the triumphal performance by Maris Liepa in London, which prompted him to say: ‘His mind is dancing and body thinks!’

26

Rick decided to combine his trip to Riga with the Lāčplēsis Day celebrated as a symbol for independence struggle of Latvia. He reckoned not to go at the same time that Her Majesty Elizabeth the Second was in Riga. Her Majesty participated in opening the monument to George Armistead on the 18 October 2006. By the way, Armistead was granted a title of Baron by the Russian Tsar due to his diligence in developing the city of Riga. But as soon as Latvia separated from Russia his daughters were in a hurry to return back to Scotland.

27

In Ancient Greece the nymphs took part in the drunken orgies of Dionysus, but they only gave their love to the heroes and the beautiful youths as they drove them to frenzied inspiration.

28

‘Look at these children abandoned by their fathers!’ thought Rick as fear pierced him and he wondered if they could have been his.

29

As he hugged it he estimated the shape to be an assertive C.

30

She

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