you are already depressed and taking antidepressants you’re hardly alone: according to mental health charity MIND, between 1990 and 1995 the number of prescriptions for antidepressants such as Prozac rose by 732 per cent in England alone. Being pregnant does not necessarily mean you have to ditch your meds and feel suicidal for nine months: some depression drugs are considered safe to take in pregnancy but others are not. So talk to your doctor the minute you know you’re pregnant.
Where to go for help:
Start with your GP, midwife or health visitor.
The Depression Alliance provides information for mothers and pregnant women who are isolated and lonely or experiencing depression. 35 Westminster Bridge Road London SE1 7JB. 0845 123 23 20 www.depressionalliance.org (ask for their booklet Depression During and After Pregnancy)
Meet-a-Mum Association Postnatal Illness Helpline can also help with pregnancy depression. 0845 120 3746
The mental health charity MIND has an online information service for users of mental health services, carers and other groups. For information on types of mental distress, treatments, therapies and legal information: 08457 660163 (9.15am–4.45pm everyday) www.mind.org.uk
Online:
www.depression-in-pregnancy.org.uk
Further reading:
Antenatal and Postnatal Depression by Siobhan Curham (Vermilion, UK, 2000)
Just feeling low
Milder ‘feeling down’ moods are also very common in pregnancy. This can be particularly overwhelming in the early stages when your hormones are flying all over the place. No matter how many times people say ‘hormones’ to you, you still think it’s life, not chemicals, that is making you feel so low. Your partner may find this disconcerting (my husband, having been through two previous pregnancies with me, was still unnerved by my dismal mood in the early stages of my third pregnancy). He may have no idea what to do to help you, so spend some time thinking about what you need from him then try to talk to him about it – if possible at a time when you’re not feeling murderous. Tell him that feeling low in pregnancy is common, chemical, but no less powerful or real for that. Suggest ways that he can help you (even if it’s just to leave you alone, buy you chocolate or give you a massage). The good news is that your dismal moods should pass. Talk to your midwife about this, or your GP or the Health Visitor at your doctor’s surgery. If your mood doesn’t alleviate, see above for where to get help.
Specific worrying
Even if pregnancy makes you basically happy, you may find yourself plagued by worries. Anxiety, like depression, is common in pregnancy and takes many forms.
WORRY THAT A PAST PROBLEM WILL RECUR | Some serious medical issues in the past (such as infertility, miscarriage, birth defects or other complications) can make your worries pretty specific and understandable. Many women who have had a miscarriage in the past, for instance, worry furiously up to the point at which the previous miscarriage occurred (and sometimes beyond). Get the most up to date information on whatever condition or event you fear. Ask questions, get referrals and second opinions. Start with your GP or midwife and don’t rest until you have answers. Information will not eradicate worry but it may help. Learning relaxation techniques may also help you to manage your more panicky moments. (See Find Out More, Chapter 4: Fear and Pain, page, for ideas and techniques.)
WORRYING ABOUT THE BIRTH | The vast majority of us (most studies put it at around 80 per cent) are scared of giving birth. We fret, often aimlessly, about this: will the birth be traumatic? Painful? Disastrous? Easy? Will it be like that horrendous one on ER last night? The good news is that pregnancy gives you time to prepare yourself mentally for giving birth. You can use this time to decode your fears, worries and preconceptions so that you can make intelligent choices about how, when and with whom you want to give birth. This book will show you how.
Generalised worry
There’s nothing like impending motherhood for bringing out the paranoid within. The world, suddenly, is filled with peril: pollutants, aggressors, toxins, accidents waiting to happen. ‘Throughout my pregnancy I worried the entire time about chemicals in body lotions harming the baby,’ says Jazz, mother of Karim (2). ‘I think I read it in some newspaper somewhere. It didn’t stop me putting lotion on every day, but it really bothered me.’
The rule is: if you find yourself worrying about some half-reported issue, physical twinge or weird feeling discuss it with your GP or midwife, no matter how mad or silly you feel. If they are vague or don’t have the answer, ask them where you can get it. For a good midwife, no question is too silly. If your general anxiety is stopping you sleeping, eating or otherwise preoccupying you, talk to them about the anxiety itself. Counselling, as well as treatment for more serious anxiety disorders, is available and now is a good time to get it (parenthood is unlikely to make it go away).
The root of worries
Much of this kind of paranoia boils down to the basic belief that pregnancy (and by implication birth) is both scary and dangerous. From TV, film, newspapers and magazines, you’ll absorb frightening images and stories of pregnancies that go disastrously wrong. This makes great TV and copy, but serious, life-threatening pregnancy complications are rare (how do you think we all got here?). Your ‘pregnancy/birth is unsafe’ mindset is not going to help you when you are in labour. For the vast majority of us pregnancy and birth are healthy, normal events. They’re neither threatening nor perilous.
Stress
‘Stress is definitely something pregnant women need to get to grips with. But you can do it. I have seen highly anxious, stressed out women at the beginning of pregnancy become, by the end, calm, relaxed and prepared simply by refocusing and making even slight changes to their busy lives,’ says midwife Jenny Smith. If your days are spent juggling million pound budgets, wiping your toddler’s bottom or – God forbid – doing both, you can still have a healthy pregnancy and be in good physical and mental shape for this birth.
We’re a stressed bunch these days: one survey of about 5,000 women3 found that women who work full time say they still do most of the household chores. Only 37 per cent of working couples share jobs equally around the home, and only 3 per cent of men do more ironing and washing than their partners. If you’ve already got children, the chances are you’re even more frazzled: the same survey found that 93 per cent of mothers feel stressed out, trying to cope with all the demands made on their lives. Add pregnancy to this and you get a heady cocktail of neurosis.
We stress about our inability to eat balanced portions of home-prepared food, our failure to attend a regular antenatal exercise class, to be productive enough at work, to get enough sleep or to relax – especially when we’re supposed to be relaxing. And then we worry that we’re worrying too much. The key question here is: will your stress harm the baby? The answer: it is extraordinarily unlikely to.
A handful of studies have suggested that a very high level of stress can increase your risk of having the baby too early, or having a low birth-weight baby by sparking off certain
