eyes is not just a quality movie stars are blessed with. Neither Bette Davis nor Clark Gable had a patent on them. We all have that suggestive look buried deep in our evolutionary psyche. Ethnologists have even named it the copulatory gaze. The copulatory gaze plays a big role in lovemaking. For example, before having sex, pygmy chimpanzees – which are about as close to human as an ape can get – spend several moments staring deeply into each other’s eyes.
Sex without eye contact is difficult for some primates. Several Finnish researchers introduced male and female baboons to each other. With blinder devices, they varied what part of the female’s anatomy the male baboon got a gander at first. When the male’s initial glimpse of his lady love was her genitals, only five ejaculations occurred. However, when he first gazed into her eyes before getting a peek at her privates, twenty-one ejaculations occurred.17 (Men, increasing eye contact during foreplay does not promise you twenty-one ejaculations, but it definitely encourages affectionate feelings from your female.)
Anthropologist Helen Fisher goes so far as to say, ‘Perhaps it is the eye – not the heart, the genitals, or the brain – that is the initial organ of romance.’18
What makes your eyes sexy and inviting? Quite simply, large pupils. Incidentally, examine old photographs of Bette Davis or Clark Gable, and you will see enormously expanded pupils. Undoubtedly a retouching job, but, hey!
The father of a science which became known as pupillometrics, Dr Eckhard Hess, demonstrated that large pupils were more alluring by showing two pictures of a woman’s face to a group of men. The pictures were identical except, in one of them, Hess had retouched the lady’s pupils to make them larger. The male response to Ms Big Pupils was twice as strong as to the identical woman with small pupils. Hess then reversed the experiment and showed pictures of men with enlarged pupils to women. There was the same positive female response to Mr Big Pupils.
Dr Hess tells us that we cannot consciously control our pupil size, but in the early 1960s he proved that we can at least manipulate it. He hooked male subjects up to a Rube Goldberg device to measure their pupil fluctuations and proceeded to show them a series of photographs. When the men saw pictures of a landscape, a baby or a family, their pupils fluctuated a little. However, Hess sneaked a picture of a naked woman into the pile. When the men got an eyeful of that one, zing went the strings of their pupils, thus proving that when we look at an enticing stimulus our pupils expand.
Here is how to enlarge your pupils to make your eyes look like inviting pools your Quarry will willingly drown in. While the two of you are chatting, simply gaze at the most attractive feature on your Quarry’s face. Does she have a cute little nose? Does he have an adorable dimple? As your eyes enjoy the sight, your pupils gradually enlarge. Keep your eyes off that mole with the black hair growing out of it. That will make your pupils slap shut like snapdragons!
TECHNIQUE 4
Bedroom Eyes
While chatting with your Quarry, gaze at the most attractive part of his or her face. Your pupils will automatically expand, giving you those bedroom eyes.
Also, think loving thoughts. Concentrate on how beautiful your Quarry is, how comfortable you feel with her, how much fun it would be to take a shower with him.
Also, you must force shyness, mistrust, nervousness or any other negative pupil-closing ideas out of your mind. Think warm, fuzzy thoughts about your Quarry to further soften your gaze.
How to Awaken Primal, Unsettling, Sexy Feelings in Your Quarry
Let us now talk about a third technique with your initial organ of romance. This one gives your Quarry that primal, unsettling feeling that floods over people when they start to fall in love.
When conversing, people tend to look briefly away at the end of a sentence or during silences, except when they are engrossed in the listener (or hopelessly in love). The phrase, he couldn’t take his eyes off her is not just allegoric. People who love each other not only indulge in much more eye contact while talking, but they are more hesitant to take their eyes off each other, even after they finish speaking. It is electrifying when someone’s glance lingers on you during the silence, after you have stopped talking.
Several years ago I hired a carpenter to put an additional window in my office. Jerry was not terribly good-looking, and he certainly was no mental colossus, but for some inexplicable reason I found him very attractive. There was an indefinable, mysterious quality about Jerry. It was unsettling, primal, sexy.
I did not permit myself to indulge in my little infatuation, however. Perhaps I thought seducing the carpenter was neither politically correct nor otherwise desirable under the circumstances. Or perhaps Jerry’s other qualities weren’t emblazoned on my Lovemap. However, thoughts of Jerry filled my fantasies for weeks.
I didn’t see him for several years. Then, just recently, while working on this book, I needed shelves to hold my research materials. Naturally, I called Jerry. He arrived on my doorstep, ten pounds heavier, three years older, but just as sexy. This time, thanks to my recent research, five minutes into our conversation I realized why he turned me on.
Every time I said something Jerry’s eyes lingered on mine. After I had finished speaking, even during the silences, his eyes stayed glued to mine. That quality, I realized, is what I had found so unsettling, so primal, so sexy.
As our discussion about my shelves progressed, I also realized why Jerry was holding the eye contact longer. He wasn’t trying to be sexy. He wasn’t fascinated by me. It wasn’t because he couldn’t take his eyes off me. It was simply because Jerry wasn’t too bright, and it took an extra beat for my ‘I’d like the shelves eleven inches wide’ to sink into his brain.
We now turn this into a technique to awaken those primal, unsettling, sexy feelings and give your new PLP a jolt.
TECHNIQUE 5
Sticky Eyes
Whenever you are talking with your Quarry, let your eyes stay glued to his or hers a little longer – even during the silences.
A gaze that stays overtime awakens primal, slightly disturbing feelings. It induces the same ‘fight or flight’ chemicals that race through our veins when we feel infatuation.
When we must look away, do so reluctantly. Drag your eyes away slowly, as though they had been stuck with warm toffee.
Now we come to the last way our eyes can get the chemicals flowing through our Quarry’s veins. There are carefully choreographed steps that a man and a woman must take upon meeting each other if love is going to develop.
One of those can’t-do-without steps involves our eyes. A curious phenomenon happens to the eyes when a man and a woman
