and complementary.
In Part Two we will explore methods of planting subliminal seeds of similarity in your Quarry’s heart and ways to make him or her know that, even though you two are basically alike, you are different in so many utilitarian, fun and interesting ways.
The ‘WIIFM’ Principle of Love
‘Hey, sweetheart, everybody’s got a market value! Everybody wears a price tag.’ How pretty is she? How much prestige does he have? How blue is her blood? How much power does he wield? Are they rich, intelligent, nice? What can they do for me?
Does this sound ugly? Researchers tell us love is not really blind. Everybody – even the nicest people – has a touch of crass when it comes to choosing a long-term partner. It’s no different to in the business world where everybody asks, ‘WIIFM?’ What’s in it for me?
I can hear some of you protesting, ‘No, love is pure and compassionate. It involves caring, altruism, communion and selflessness. That’s what love is all about.’ Yes, that’s what love is all about when good people are truly in love. You have probably even met couples who are deeply devoted and would sacrifice everything for each other. Yes, this kind of selfless love that we all dream of having exists. But it comes later – much later. It comes only after you have made your partner fall in love with you.
If you want to make someone fall in love with you, researchers say, you must initially convince them they are getting a good deal. We may not be conscious of it but, science tells us, tried and true market principles apply to love relationships. Lovers unconsciously calculate the other person’s comparable worth, the cost-benefit ratio of the relationship, the hidden costs, the maintenance fee and the assumed depreciation. Then they ask themselves, ‘Is this the best offer I can get?’ Everybody has a big scorecard locked away in their heart. And, in order to make people fall in love with you, you have to make them feel they are getting a very good deal.
Is all lost if you weren’t born drop-dead gorgeous, or if you don’t have a famous family name? No. In Part Three we will explore silver-tongued verbal skills to replace the silver spoon that was never in our mouths when we were born. In that way we can satisfy some very choosy Quarry.
How Do You Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways
At the blazing core of first romantic rumblings is ego. Perhaps Cupid misses the mark when he aims his little arrow at Quarries’ hearts. Science shows us where to really level our ammunition and take fire – right at their egos. People fall in love with people in whose eyes they behold the most ideal reflections of themselves.
Would-be lovers should be thrilled that ego makes the world go round, because Quarries’ egos are very vulnerable targets. There are multifarious ways to make your Quarry feel beautiful, strong, handsome, charming, dynamic, or however he or she wants to feel. There are big-stroke compliments, little-stroke caresses, and a myriad of deliciously devious means to make your Quarry feel special. Subtle procedures can convince Quarries what they have suspected all along: ‘I am different. I am wonderful. And to thank you for recognizing this amazing fact, I’ll fall in love with you.’
Everyone also hungers for security and validation. We seek protection in our primary relationship from the cruel, cruel world. Part Four, How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You, explores ways to make your Quarry feel that you are the salvation – you are his or her safe harbour from the storm of life.
Is There Love After Eden?
Everyone smiled knowingly in 1956 when Rex Harrison moaned from the Broadway stage, ‘Oh, why can’t a woman be more like a man?’ He knew his Fair Lady was a very different animal indeed. But in the era following My Fair Lady feminists cast serious doubt on his convictions.
Now, after many decades of pondering, presuming and postulating on whether men and women really differ in anything but their genitals, the envelope has been opened. The answer is – drumroll please – yes! Men and women think and communicate in dramatically different ways.
Neurosurgeons can point to clumps of neurons in female brains that cause men like Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady to call women ‘exasperating, calculating, agitating, maddening and infuriating’. Scientists aim their needles at the molecules in the male brain that make women accuse men of being ‘insensitive clods’.
Despite the torrent of data flowing in about the genetic, cerebral and sexual differences between men and women, both Hunters and Huntresses continue to assume we think alike and persist in courting each other in the way they would like to be courted themselves. Perhaps recent scientific findings will give men and women more insight into each other’s style, but nothing short of a frontal lobotomy could make a permanent change in which brand of neurons our brains give off. Women will continue to be ‘exasperating’, and men will still be ‘insensitive’. And both will keep on communicating in styles that turn each other off, especially on the first dates.
To avoid scaring off their prey before they bag it, serious big-game hunters know all the characteristics and habits of deer, moose, caribou, bison and wild hogs. Likewise, serious love Hunters and Huntresses must be well versed in gender differences if they intend to make the kill.
Part Five briefs you on how to avoid the most common early-date turnoffs to make even the most wary Quarry comfortable letting down his or her guard. Love-shy Quarry who usually take flight when a man or woman gets too close will happily come within firing range of your arrow.
How to Turn on the Sexual Electricity
Many books on how to turn on your partner make sex sound like flipping the switch on the night-light next to your bed. ‘Press here to speed up orgasm. Stroke there for an extra charge.’ Yes, sexuality is electricity, but your Quarry’s bodily buttons only speed up or slow down the physical functions. Mind power is what drives the mighty machine and keeps it generating heat for many years. The most erotic organ in your Quarry’s body is his or her brain.
For details and how-tos, there is no lack of reference books. They have names like How to Drive Your Man Wild in Bed, How to Drive Your Woman Wild in Bed, How to Drive Your Man Even Wilder in Bed and How to Satisfy a Woman Every Time and Have Her Beg for More. The list goes on. Such manuals are replete with detailed data for women on how to tickle that spot just below the ‘cute little helmet’ to drive him out of his gourd. Men can examine idiotproof charts on where to let their fingers do the walking so as to not miss the U-turn that leads to her G-spot.
All of this is important stuff – very important stuff. But when it comes to actually making somebody fall in love with you, it pales in comparison to what I will call brain fellatio – sucking the dreams, the longings and the fantasies
