insect repellent.
Lovemaps sometimes contain very convoluted paths. Early negative experiences can give them a strange twist. Women, maybe your father ran off with another woman, leaving you and your mother alone, so now, if your date so much as glances at a passing lady, you freak out. Gentlemen, perhaps your beautiful baby-sitter spanked you when you were five, but it stimulated your little genitals and felt good. So now, as an adult, you cannot fall in love with a woman unless she will give you love spankings.
Forgotten experiences, both positive and negative, are remembered by your sexual subconscious. If the timing is right and someone triggers one, BLAM! A shot of PEA shoots through your veins. It blasts your brain, blinding you to reason, and you begin to fall in love. It’s the necessary spark to kick-start love.
That is just for starters. The starter gets your car going, and then the battery takes over. Similarly, after your brain recuperates from its first shot of PEA, a little reason (hopefully) starts to make its way through the grey matter. As you and your PLP get to know each other better, you begin exploring your similarities and your differences (we cover this in Part Two), and you both start asking yourselves, ‘What can I get from this relationship?’ (Part Three). We listen to our ego and see how much reinforcement it is getting (Part Four). Early love is very delicate, and often we inadvertently turn our Quarry off in the first few dates (Part Five). If we get beyond that, what goes on – or doesn’t go on – between the sheets plays a gigantic role (Part Six). Throughout How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You, we will explore all these factors from a scientific point of view.
Let us now go back to the beginning. Where do you find a Potential Love Partner? How do you get that first shot of PEA shooting through his/her veins over you?
Where Are All the Good Men and Women?
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
Single and divorced people, young and old, all across America are asking themselves as they brush their teeth in the morning, as they shave or put on make-up, as they touch up the grey in their hair, ‘Where are all the good men? Where are all the good women?’
‘One in five Americans is single and searching,’ American Demographics magazine tells us.8 That means there are 49 million Americans aged twenty-five and older who are single, widowed or divorced. And their number is growing.
‘Good,’ you say, ‘but if there are so many Potential Love Partners around, where are they?’ The answer is, ‘They are everywhere – looking for love – just like you.’ PLPs are sitting in the park munching a sandwich, enjoying music at a concert, walking the dog, riding the commuter train and going to restaurants all around you.
Today, even with jet travel, on-line romances and a shrinking globe, most people marry pretty close to home. Studies on what social scientists call residential propinquity show that Cupid’s arrow does not travel far. In fact, one study tells us the median distance travelled by an unskilled worker to find his spouse is just five blocks.9 Unless you have pitched your tent in the middle of the Sahara, you don’t have to venture far for your hunting expedition. You will outfit yourself with some new knowledge and, armed with the techniques in this book, you can start tracking Quarry very close at hand.
You have heard the wail of unsuccessful lovers: ‘I’m looking for love in all the wrong places, looking for love in all the wrong faces.’ That is not the real problem. Most have been looking for love in all the wrong ways.
Theatrical performers know they need a different set of skills to get cast from an audition than they need to sustain a role on stage. They must immediately knock producers out with their talent, sometimes in one minute or less. Likewise, you need different skills to make someone fall in love with you than you need to keep a relationship warm for a lifetime. You must knock your Quarry out – sometimes in the first minute or less. Without that strong first kick, he or she might never get to know you, let alone fall in love with you.
Does Love at First Sight Exist?
Let’s say you get lucky tomorrow and spot a Potential Love Partner. He or she is sitting on the steps reading a book. Or standing in a museum studying a painting. Or getting on the bus. Or waiting in line at the bank cash machine.
You sneak a second peek. Something about the stranger revs up your internal PEA factory, and a little dollop goes squirting through your veins. Maybe it’s her looks, the way he moves, something she is wearing. Her aura? Is this love at first sight? Does love at first sight even exist?
Well, that is a semantic question. Instant desire, or lust at first sight, definitely exists. However, the scientific world pretty well agrees that love at first sight is merely wisdom after the event.
‘A successful love affair, perhaps one leading to marriage, is retrospectively declared to be true love; whereas if one is rebuffed, it is classified … as infatuation’
Medical Aspects of Human Sexuality 10
Semantics aside, one fact remains. Any small stimulus can kick-start love. Your first moves when you spot a Potential Love Partner are crucial. If, from that powerful stimulus, love grows, you have every right to call it love at first sight. Nobody will argue with you.
Love at first sight has survived because it is an integral part of the many popular beliefs about romantic love. In the same way that a voodoo curse causes death only in persons who believe in its power to kill them, love at first sight truly exists for those who believe in it.
How to Make a Dynamite First Impression
First Impressions Last Forever
The first moment your Quarry lays eyes on you has awesome potency. The picture burns its way into his or her eyes and can stay emblazoned in your Quarry’s memory forever.
I have a dear friend, an older gentleman named Gerald, who is very sought after in the social scene of his home town. He is a charming escort for several elderly ladies who long ago lost their husbands. Gerald met these women when they were all in high school together back in the late 1940s. His women friends are inwardly beautiful; however, physically, several have gained weight and have long since lost their youthful attractiveness.
Once, at a party, I overheard a rude man tease Gerald about his taste
