the ones who listen the most. In this chapter I will introduce you to the art and science of listening, showing you simple ways in which you can become a master of conversation by saying less!
Remember: you have one mouth and two ears. Think about it!
Chapter 4: Making Connections
It is the natural goal of every human being to want to win friends, to influence people, to be popular, to converse easily, to negotiate with others successfully, and to deal with social relationships in a way that produces the results they desire. Read this chapter and find out how!
Chapter 5: How to Shine in Groups
This chapter will show you how you can stand out from the crowd, and how you can use your brain to impress others at any social gathering!
Chapter 6: ‘Attitood’ About Attitude
Your attitude profoundly affects not only your behaviour, but also the behaviour of others around you, and therefore the behaviour of others with whom they interact, and so on in the giant ripple effect that spreads around the entire world. Your own self-confidence is the key to relating with others. I will explain the effects of peer pressure, and reveal one of the most important things that you can give your children.
Chapter 7: Negotiations – How to Win Friends and Influence People
How do you make sure that in any negotiations, both parties come away pleased with the outcome? How can you resolve disagreements and conflicts amicably? This chapter will show you everything you need to know!
Chapter 8: Social Graces – Or What to Do When …
Little gestures that show that you care are immensely Socially Intelligent. This chapter will give you a guide to understanding how such gestures work, and how you can use them for your own benefit and happiness.
Chapter 9: Signposts for Social Success
Developing your Social Intelligence will inevitably give you greater social status and influence. You can apply everything you have learned to guarantee your growing future success. This chapter introduces a great Social Intelligence Star, who is the epitome of the power and qualities of Social Intelligence.
Chapter 10: The ‘Power of Ten’
In the final chapter I explain how Social Intelligence is but one among many intelligences we all have, and how each one of your Multiple Intelligence interacts and strengthens all the others.
To help you in your journey, The Power of Social Intelligence features a host of apposite quotes, self-check exercises, fascinating stories and case histories. The book also has some special features:
Mind Maps®. Mind Maps® are amazing thinking tools designed to help you see, outside your head, the ‘maps of thought’ that are inside your head! Mind Maps® use all the ‘equipment’ your whole brain uses every day to recognize, understand and remember things, including words, lines, colours and images. Mind Maps® simply make things easier for you wherever and whenever you use them. They are ‘Friends of your Brain’.
Social Workouts. All the following chapters contain a Social Intelligence Workout – games and fun exercises that will help you develop and strengthen this Master Intelligence. You can look on them as your Mental Gymnasium – a place where you go to increase the strength, flexibility and stamina of your Social Intelligence muscles!
Social Brain Boosters. These Brain Boosters take the form of Intentions or Affirmations. By repeating them to yourself on a regular basis, you will build up the maps of thought about these intentions in your head, and will increase the probability that what they say will become part of your new social behaviour and growing Social Intelligence. They have been specially designed to protect you from some of the pitfalls of incomplete and inaccurate Positive Thinking modes of thought.
Reading People –
Body Language and How To Master It
Chapter Two
‘Use what language you will, you can never say anything but what you are.’
(Ralph Waldo Emerson)
Your body is impeccably designed for the purpose of communicating with your fellow human beings. Your voice and your words obviously play a vital part in the art and science of social interaction. Be fully aware, however, that an even greater percentage of your communication with others is conveyed by – your body. In fact, studies have shown that fully 55 per cent of all meaning conveyed in any act of communication is given by your physical demeanour!
Your body will communicate, without words, whether you are happy or sad, well or unwell, fit or unfit, removed or engaged, confident or nervous, enthusiastic or bored, interested or indifferent, open or defensive, socially ill at ease or socially confident and in command.
And, of course, other people’s bodies will communicate the same things to you. If you are aware of this, you will be able to ‘read’ other people more accurately and empathetically, and so boost your Social Intelligence.
To give you an immediate experience of this, try the following game:
You are to imagine that you are an actor on stage, miming ultimate depression, despondency and despair.
Imagine that you have woken up in the morning to be told by the person you love the most that they find you unutterably grey, boring and dull and wish to have nothing more to do with you. Immediately after this you receive a message that your best friend is gravely ill. This is followed by a phone call from your bank manager informing you that you have just gone bankrupt and will have to sell immediately the house you have lived in and loved for many years.
As you sink into this imaginary total depression, observe what happens to your body. Check the following things:
Your diminishing height
Your posture
Your energy levels
Your senses and their lessening alertness
Your breathing and its reduced depth and strength
Your motivational levels
Your desire for social contact
Now imagine exactly the opposite scenario, one of extreme joy and happiness. Imagine that you have woken up, and the person whom you have secretly loved and desired for many years tells you that they find you
