asked you to write a few so far in this book) or planning. When was the last time you actually let your brain be still? Start by finding three times a week (every day would be fab – but I am realistic) just for you. This can be difficult, but if you really cannot find five minutes in your existing day then I encourage you to set your alarm early to have this sacred time. Yes, your sleep is important but so is your sanity!
THE LOGIC
Finding space in your day to simply stop and ‘be’ rather than ‘do’ may seem difficult, or even a waste of valuable time, but pressing the pause button can actually be energizing and help you use your time more effectively later on.
Case study: Anita’s Story
‘It took me a while to get my head around the idea of following a specific weight loss program as I had just come out of feeding my second child – after 18 months of not being allowed to eat/drink my favourite things, I was suddenly voluntarily depriving myself! But since I’d gained 41½ stone since my second pregnancy, I wanted to go slow but remain in for the long-term – rather than do an incredible quick fix, rest on my laurels and then slip back again. My current weight/body fat shows that this approach has been a great success – it has really worked for me. It’s been a fantastic kickstart to better all-round health and energy levels.’
THE BOTTOM LINE
Many of us spend our lives waiting for the perfect moment to lose weight, join the gym, embark on a difficult project … However, that time may never come so do what you can, now! It might not be what you’d like to be able to do, but it’s infinitely better than doing nothing because it empowers you – it means you are taking control and moving closer towards your goal. Once you’ve learned to work with the here and now, you are ready for step six.
This strategy is about raising yourself up your priority list. Where do you figure on your list of priorities? Ask yourself the following series of questions and write the answers down. Who is the most important person in your life? After that, who is the next most important person in your life? Ask yourself this question seven times. Next, take a piece of paper and play hangman, adding a new piece to the gallows for each name that appears on your list. If you get to six or seven before you reach your name, you’re done for! Why? Because if you are that low down on your priority list, then your weight loss attempts will fail – they’ll fail because your needs are not important enough for you to give them the time and energy they require. Quite simply, you do not value yourself enough.
Now ask yourself who is responsible for keeping all those other important people or things going and working in your life – chances are it’s you. Let’s get one thing straight: if you feel low about yourself, your health suffers through a lack of quality sleep and too little physical activity and this in turn makes sensible eating and other lifestyle choices harder. However, it’s not only you who suffers as a result of this, but your family and anyone else you’ve put above you on your priority list.
Case Study: Katie and the hangman
Katie took part in one of my group weight management courses. A mother of three, she was frustrated about not being able to lose the weight she had gained since having Jessie, Amy and Matthew. She wanted to lose the weight, but kept getting sidetracked by all the other demands on her attention. She felt exasperated and upset that although she was doing so much for her family, she was also silently begrudging them for it. Playing the hangman game showed Katie how she needed to raise herself up the priority list. This is the list Katie came up with:
Michael my husband
Amy – as she was born with a heart condition
Matthew and Jessie
Mum
Sister
In-laws
Best friend Sue
Me
Seeing a visual depiction of the situation helped Katie put things into perspective. She knew she would never be number one – that was not her nature – but she knew by carving out a little time for herself and building even a small pedestal for herself would help with her weight loss efforts and help her feel less exasperated with the rest of the family.
TAKING AND MAKING TIME
Many people complain that they do not have enough time to eat healthily, take regular exercise and manage stress, but the issue is not about making time it is about taking time. Taking time is only possible when you feel you are worthy of it. Being happy to take time involves you raising yourself a few rungs up the ladder. Even if you are not at the top of the list, getting higher is important.
Step five action aims are about getting you to put yourself on a pedestal.
ACTION POINT 1: REPEAT AFTER ME – TAKING TIME FOR ME IS A WIN-WIN STRATEGY FOR EVERYONE
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Stop thinking that taking time out for you is selfish. Self-neglect is one of the most common issues I see in the women I work with – they are successful, run a happy home, excel at work, the fridge is full and family is always fed, but they end up going to bed way after everyone else, toss and turn worrying about all the things they need to do and end up even more tired the following day. Taking time out for you does not mean you are neglecting others – see it as looking after the main cog in the wheel of your family.
THE LOGIC
Saying this mantra will act as a powerful springboard to help you want to make self-care part of your schedule. It will help you make time for it, as opposed to simply finding time for it. Taking time out can help you, your family and others realize the pivotal role you play.
ACTION POINT 2: REBEL!
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Go on, do it – be a rebel. Stop loading yourself with pressure to be perfect. Go against the grain, step out of line, be edgy, say something shocking – anything that makes you feel you are being non-conformist and takes you out of the role others see you in.
THE LOGIC
Challenging others to view you in a slightly different light can help you look at yourself in a different light, too. This will illustrate how important your actions are within your world and in turn help you place yourself higher on the scale.
ACTION POINT 3: TRIM AND SWITCH
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
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