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ACTION POINT 2: SAY YOUR MANTRA
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Once you have your bravery time line, you can use it as a springboard to a powerful mantra such as ‘I was brave once, I can be brave again’. Repeat your mantra every morning and also write it down and place it in an area where your confidence is most challenged. If this is at work, for example, keep it in the top drawer of your desk. Alternatively, you could make it your welcome message when you switch on your mobile phone. Wherever you choose, make sure it is somewhere where you will see it regularly – the more you see it, the more powerful its effect on you.
THE LOGIC
Mantras are powerful sayings but they can only be put to good effect if you use them wisely and allow them to reinforce your feelings when needed.
ACTION POINT 3: STEP INTO THE TARDIS
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Make a list of past situations or events that you were fearful of or worried about. Next, write down whether you feel you dealt with that situation or event successfully or not. Now write down how you dealt with the situation and, finally, note how you think you could have improved the outcome by using a different approach or strategy.
THE LOGIC
Addressing situations that have caused you hurt or problems in the past, and how you have dealt with them, allows you to accept that your attitude to weight management needs to involve a series of strategies and approaches to achieve the outcome you want. It also enables you to see how you have been able to work through various other situations in your life, and that the outcome has not always been immediate.
ACTION POINT 4: THINK CHALLENGE, NOT PROBLEM
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
This relates to whether you see your glass as half full or half empty. Decide right now that it is half full. This outlook will motivate you and provide you with more energy to address the issue.
THE LOGIC
How you view a situation can have a significant impact on how you feel about it and how you deal with it, so stop looking at the difficulties life throws at you as problems and instead see them as challenges that present new ways for you to look at your life and learn about yourself and others.
ACTION POINT 5: STOP WORRYING WHAT OTHERS THINK
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Observe any young child and you will see them playing silly games, or dancing as if they’re the latest pop sensation, with no regard to how silly they look. When was the last time you did something silly or put yourself in an unfamiliar situation without worrying about what others thought, or how ridiculous you may look? Fear of embarrassment can limit your experience of life. So take up belly dancing, audition for a part in a local theatre group or sign up for that evening class you have been thinking about for months. Go out power walking, or join the gym – and remember, the only person who is really focused on you is YOU.
THE LOGIC
Not caring what others think is a liberating experience. It opens you to new experiences, building your confidence and self-esteem, and shows you that falling flat on your face once in a while isn’t the end of the world. You’ll be surprised how little attention others really give to all the small things you worry about.
ACTION POINT 6: DARE TO DO WHAT YOU FEAR
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
As adults, many of us tend to protect ourselves emotionally and physically. Yet if you allow your fears to spin out to their worst-case conclusions, you’ll find that the potential consequences are usually manageable. What is the worst thing that can happen? Thinking it through can eliminate fear and provide you with the courage to move forward. Make a list of small things that would take you out of your comfort zone and try to do one a month for the next six months. Start with really tiny things, then make each one a little tougher.
THE LOGIC
When you are young you think you can do anything and not get hurt, but as we get older our limitations become instilled. Once you realize you are breakable and could end up in a plaster cast – or with a broken heart – it can dissuade you from trying anything more daring or stepping outside your comfort zone. Facing fears head-on will build your confidence and help you embrace change and challenges with improved confidence and vigour.
ACTION POINT 7: BE AN EARLY BIRD
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO
Each day, aim to do the things you least want to do, but have to do that day, first. It’s like a child who leaves their favourite food on the plate till last and then eats it. If you tackle things in this way, you won’t need to nag yourself all day about not getting it done – instead you will be able to deal with it and your positive action will empower you through the other activities in your day.
THE LOGIC
As well as avoiding the negative situation of having something unpleasant looming all day long, research shows that we are better able to deal with challenging situations in the morning, as levels of the stress hormones cortisol and adrenaline are naturally higher at this time. So make the most of your biochemicals!
THE BOTTOM LINE
Acknowledge that sadness, fear and other negative emotions can help you learn and heal, as well as helping you to celebrate and get the most out of life. Once you have made friends with the enemy you are ready for step five.
Case Study: Nikki’s Story
Nikki, who was a victim of physical abuse, put weight on as a protective mechanism, a way of hiding behind the pain. She felt that if she made herself larger then the pain would be less and if she made herself, in her eyes, less attractive, then the physical abuse would stop. Repeatedly Nikki used this strategy whenever she hit difficult times in her life – when she was unhappy in her job, in her other personal relationships, had a row with her family or felt depressed from a family bereavement. Only when Nikki began to acknowledge what had happened to her, could she begin to see that overeating was her way of dealing with it. In this way she began the process of understanding her feelings and building her self-esteem. By mastering this step, Nikki went on to lose 18 pounds and drop 3 dress sizes.
Case Study: Elaine’s Story
Elaine had always been slim and sporty as a teenager and in the early stages of her relationship with Chris. When Chris was asked to move to a new town with his job, he assumed Elaine would go with him and threatened to end the relationship if she didn’t. As a result, Elaine gave up her own job and moved. However, with no social circle of her own and no work, her confidence suffered and she soon began taking
