today.’ Eve quickly typed in the few sentences that were all that were needed to update the file and saved it. Standing up, she came around the desk and had to pause yet again when she realised that she couldn’t get past Ryan without touching him. Even though she was over the worst of her fears, the thought of feeling his skin brush against hers made her breath catch. She could cope with touching the children, could even manage to touch another adult if the occasion warranted it, but the thought of touching Ryan made her tremble for some reason.
‘Hey, are you all right?’ He leant forward, his dark brown eyes filled with concern. ‘You’ve gone really pale. Do you feel faint?’
Eve struggled to get a grip. ‘I … I never had any breakfast,’ she murmured. Would she ever get over this fear completely, ever be able to enjoy a physical relationship again? She had tried everything, had had counselling, spoken to other victims of abuse, but the fear was so deeply rooted, the memories too clear: first the seemingly loving touch and then the violence …
‘Come on. I’ll treat you to lunch.’
Ryan put his hand under her arm to lead her to the door and Eve freaked out. She pushed him away.
‘Don’t touch me!’
He stepped back at once, his face set. ‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Maybe you should go and get something to eat. You obviously need it.’
He spun round on his heel and stalked out of the door, making it clear that he was deeply offended. Eve sank down onto a chair, her whole body trembling as reaction set in. What a fool she was! Why on earth had she reacted that way? Now it would be all round the unit that she was unbalanced, unstable …
Only she doubted if Ryan would tell anyone what had happened. From what she remembered, he wasn’t like that. He had been kind and supportive when she had known him before and she wanted to believe that he hadn’t changed even if she had.
Eve took a deep breath, surprised by how important that idea was. Knowing that Ryan hadn’t changed made her feel better for some reason.
Ryan found it impossible to put what had happened out of his mind. All through afternoon ward rounds he found himself thinking about the way Eve had reacted when he had touched her. It wasn’t the usual response he received: most women were more than happy to have him touch them and a whole lot more. However, there had been genuine fear in Eve’s eyes and he could only put it down to one reason: had she been subjected to some sort of physical abuse?
The thought was more than he could stand and he knew that he had to find out the truth. If Eve had been in an abusive relationship, he wanted to help her. If he could. He sighed as he finished explaining to Rex Manning, their consultant, that he was hoping to discharge the patient they were examining the following day. Why on earth should Eve trust him, after all?
‘Good. This is what I like to see, my patients making rapid progress.’ Rex smiled charmingly at seven-year-old Alfie Hudson’s anxious parents. Alfie had been admitted with appendicitis, which had been successfully dealt with, and Rex was keen to enjoy the kudos even though it was Ryan who had performed the surgery. ‘An excellent result, wouldn’t you say, Mr and Mrs Hudson?’
Ryan grimaced as the young couple immediately showered Rex with praise. Although Rex was a bit of a diva, he was excellent at his job and Ryan was prepared to cut him a lot of slack because of it. He caught Eve’s eye and winked and, amazingly, she winked back. It was such a surprise after her earlier rejection that it felt as though he was floating on air as they proceeded to the next bed, and it was unnerving to realise that she could have this effect on him. Maybe he did want to help her, but he couldn’t afford to get too involved in her affairs.
He had his own agenda, things he needed to do, things that were too important to put off. He was the lucky one after all. He was still here, enjoying his life, doing what he wanted. His twin brother, Scott, hadn’t been so lucky. Scott hadn’t had time to make his mark on the world so he, Ryan, had to do it for him. The fact was that he didn’t have time to worry about Eve when he had so much else to focus on.
Ryan knew it was true. It was what he had decided after Scott had died so tragically when they were seventeen. He had sworn then that Scott wouldn’t be forgotten and he had worked towards that aim for all these years. It was thanks to his efforts that the money for over thirty portable defibrillators had been raised. They had been placed in shopping centres, swimming pools, sports arenas and the next step was to get them into schools.
No one should die as Scott had done because of a lack of equipment. No parents should have to go through the horror of losing a child as his parents had done. Ryan had set himself this task and he would carry it through to the bitter end, until he was too old to run another sponsored race or climb one more mountain. He didn’t have time for a relationship even if it were possible.
He glanced at Eve and felt his heart contract in alarm. He knew what he had to do, so why did it suddenly seem more important that he help Eve, turn her back into the warm and caring woman she had been?
IT WAS GONE seven before Eve left the hospital. Daisy Martin’s parents had asked to speak to her and she had spent some time reassuring them. One of the worst things about sickle cell anaemia was that nobody could predict when a crisis would occur. It made it even more stressful for Daisy’s parents.
Evening visiting was under way as she walked through the main doors. She was renting a flat close to the river and she decided to walk home rather than wait for the bus, which would be packed. It was a warm evening, the sun just sliding below the surrounding hills.
Originally, Dalverston had been a sleepy little market town straddling the borders of Lancashire and Cumbria. Although it had expanded in the past thirty years, it had retained its charm and attracted many visitors. With Easter just a week away, there were a lot of tourists in the area and Eve had to wait until the lights changed before she could cross the road. She had always lived in the city before and had wondered if she would adapt to a more rural way of life but it had turned out better than she had expected. She felt safe here, safe and secure, and that was something she valued more than anything.
She reached the footpath leading down to the river and decided to take a short cut. It was quicker this way and she wanted to get home as soon as possible. It had been a difficult day and it would be a relief to go in and shut the door on the world, although she wasn’t foolish enough to think she could forget what had happened. She had overreacted when Ryan had touched her and she knew that he must be wondering why she had behaved so oddly. Would he ask her or would he let it pass? It all depended how interested he was in her, she decided.
The thought sent a shiver down her spine and she quickened her pace. She couldn’t bear the thought of Ryan finding out what had happened. She felt ashamed enough without people knowing how stupid she had been. She had allowed Damien Blackwell to rule her life because she’d thought he had loved her, but it hadn’t been love; it had been something far more destructive. It had taken her a while to realise it and when she had, she’d also realised that she could never trust her own judgement again. She had been taken in once and it could happen a second time.
That bleak thought kept her company as she made her way along the path. It was so peaceful away from the traffic that she felt herself start to relax for the first time since her encounter with Ryan. She had overreacted and she really should apologise, but what could she say? That the thought of any man laying his hands on her filled her with horror? That would only give rise to more questions and that was the last thing she wanted.
