the next stop was hers. She swung her bag over her shoulder, avoiding the eyes of her fellow passengers, and hopped off the bus. ‘That idiot girl there,’ someone said as she left.
Laura walked briskly down the street, her heart racing, and turned off into Rathbone Place. Halfway down she slowed and leant briefly against some railings. This was all wrong, she thought to herself. She was supposed to get there calm and collected, she was going to be strong and cool (but yet devastatingly attractive), not some dishevelled sweaty heap, who arrived late for a summit meeting with her quasi-boyfriend having been suspended from her job the previous day. No, she was not that person. Not any more. She clenched her fists, stood up, and marched on her way, down the dark, grey street, pleasantly cool, away from the heat in the evening shade.
The Newman Pie Rooms was above a pub, the Newman Arms, tucked away off Oxford Street. It was one room, decked out in old-man’s-pub traditional style, with a few tables and a board on the wall announcing what pies were on offer that particular day. It was one of Laura’s favourite places – Dan had taken her there on one of their first evenings out together. It was a great hidden secret, and, more to the point, certainly not the kind of place you’d ever catch Amy in.
Laura’s legs shook slightly as she climbed the rickety twisted stairs, but she reminded herself once again that this choice of location for their summit meeting must be a good thing. Dan was reading the paper, but as he caught sight of her he leapt to his feet, folded it up and shoved it into his back pocket. He smiled at her, his eyes huge, drew her into his arms, kissed her and hugged her, tightly, for a long time.
‘Hello babe,’ he said, resting his forehead against hers. ‘How are you?’ He smoothed the hair away from her face, and tucked it behind her ear.
‘I’m fine,’ Laura replied, smiling back at him. She wound her arms round his neck. ‘I’m OK. Yeah, fine.’
‘Good,’ said Dan, looking over her shoulder. ‘Sorry…no, it’s fine. So you’re really OK? I missed you, baby. I really missed you.’ He pulled her down onto the bench next to him, and casually put her hand over his crotch.
Laura smiled at his cheek, still the same Dan as ever, and looked at the menu board. ‘Yep, I’m really OK,’ she said, pretending to ignore him, but moving a little closer.
The couple at the next table looked at her distastefully.
‘Perhaps I should move there,’ said Laura, pointing at the chair opposite.
‘No,’ Dan said, and kissed her ear gently. He whispered, ‘Please, I want you near me. Who knows when it might be next?’
‘Well,’ said Laura weakly, ‘that’s what we need to talk about, kind of, isn’t it?’
Dan was looking at the menu board this time and didn’t answer. He snaked his arm around Laura, and gently cupped one of her breasts. Laura wriggled with pleasure and nerves. This wasn’t going the way she’d anticipated. She leant into him, gave into it.
‘I missed you too.’
‘Hm?’ Dan said. ‘I’m having the lamb and mint pie, what about you?’
Food. A day spent at home mulling over her problems and failing to come up with solutions had not calmed Laura down one jot. It was twenty-eight degrees outside, more inside, and she was feeling fairly emotionally fraught. She had eaten very little that day, and had actually been sick before she came out. A lamb and mint pie was not really what she was in the mood for.
‘Um,’ she began, knotting and unknotting her hands in her lap. ‘I’m not that hungry, you know. I feel a bit funny. I might just have a salad.’
‘Really?’ Dan looked at her as if she was insane. ‘You’re OK, aren’t you?’
‘Yes…’ Laura said, beginning to be slightly irritated that the question kept being asked yet not followed through. She steeled herself and put her hand on Dan’s wrist. ‘Look at me.’
He turned to face her.
‘I am fine,’ she said. ‘I’m really fine, in fact. But we need to talk. There’s…things we need to discuss. Tonight.’
Dan looked slightly alarmed.
‘Right. Why aren’t you hungry?’ he said after a pause.
Bemused, Laura attempted to stick to the point she was trying to muddle her way through to, without actually saying, ‘I was sick earlier today because I’ve been suspended from work, and this is driving me up the wall.’
‘I’m not…it’s just…’ She stumbled a bit, and Dan looked even more apprehensive.
‘What?’ he said. ‘Laura, what’s wrong?’
‘Nothing. Well, I was a bit sick today, but that’s normal…nothing. Look…’
Dan’s reaction to this news was unexpected. His jaw dropped and he gaped at her, then gasped several times as if short of breath.
‘You were sick?’ he said. ‘Why?’
Laura wanted to be touched by his concern, but he was looking genuinely horrified. She found it a little off-putting. How could she explain everything to him? Why couldn’t he understand?
‘I…well. I haven’t been feeling too good. Lately.’
‘Are you…ill?’ Dan said, his jaw muscles clenching. ‘Have you been off work?’
‘Well…actually, I have,’ Laura said. ‘Something’s happened. That’s what…’ she swallowed. ‘Things are going to be difficult over the next couple of months, Dan,’ she said softly. ‘That’s why I have to know what’s going on with us. I have to know, I can’t do it any more.’
She sat back in her seat, shaking with adrenalin, and reached out to take his hand, but Dan put his head in his hands and was silent. Laura watched him, a growing sense of unease welling within her.
‘Fuck…’ Dan said eventually. ‘Oh fuck.’ He looked up again, and ran his eyes up and down her body. ‘Just tell me. Tell me the truth. You’re…fuck, you’re pregnant, aren’t you?’
A waitress had materialised beside them during this sentence. She let out an involuntary gasp.
‘Shall I come back?’ she said, glancing from one to the other and looking ultra-curious.
‘No,’ said Laura, slightly maliciously, though it was only afterwards she recognised the emotion for what it was. Dan was sitting stock still, staring into space. ‘Fuck,’ he repeated.
‘I think we’re ready to go here,’ Laura said calmly. ‘Can I just have the Greek salad, please? And Dan – you want the lamb and mint pie, don’t you?’ No response was forthcoming, so she nodded to the waitress. ‘Yes, he’ll have that, and some broccoli, too, please.’
‘Another beer?’ said the waitress, gesturing to Dan’s pint.
‘I think so,’ said Laura briskly, ‘and can I have a bottle of house white, too, please?’
‘One bottle?’ said the waitress incredulously. ‘For
