to inform you that I threw all their
ammunition-waggons upon the top.
Before I applied the lighted match I had laid the combustibles at the
bottom so judiciously, that the whole was in a blaze in a moment. To
prevent suspicion I was one of the first to express my surprise. The
whole camp was, as you may imagine, petrified with astonishment: the
general conclusion was, that their sentinels had been bribed, and that
seven or eight regiments of the garrison had been employed in this
horrid destruction of their artillery. Mr. Drinkwater, in his account of
this famous siege, mentions the enemy sustaining a great loss by a fire
which happened in their camp, but never knew the cause; how should he?
as I never divulged it before (though I alone saved Gibraltar by this
night’s business), not even to General Elliot. The Count d’Artois and
all his attendants ran away in their fright, and never stopped on the
road till they reached Paris, which they did in about a fortnight;
this dreadful conflagration had such an effect upon them that they were
incapable of taking the least refreshment for three months after, but,
chameleon-like, lived upon the air.
_If any gentleman will say he doubts the truth of this story, I will
fine him a gallon of brandy and make him drink it at one draught._
About two months after I had done the besieged this service, one
morning, as I sat at breakfast with General Elliot, a shell (for I had
not time to destroy their mortars as well as their cannon) entered the
apartment we were sitting in; it lodged upon our table: the General, as
most men would do, quitted the room directly; but I took it up before
it burst, and carried it to the top of the rock, when, looking over
the enemy’s camp, on an eminence near the sea-coast I observed a
considerable number of people, but could not, with my naked eye,
discover how they were employed. I had recourse again to my telescope,
when I found that two of our officers, one a general, the other a
colonel, with whom I spent the preceding evening, and who went out into
the enemy’s camp about midnight as spies, were taken, and then were
actually going to be executed on a gibbet. I found the distance too
great to throw the shell with my hand, but most fortunately recollecting
that I had the very sling in my pocket which assisted David in slaying
Goliath, I placed the shell in it, and immediately threw it in the midst
of them: it burst as it fell, and destroyed all present, except the two
culprits, who were saved by being suspended so high, for they were just
turned off: however, one of the pieces of the shell fled with such force
against the foot of the gibbet, that it immediately brought it down. Our
two friends no sooner felt _terra firma_ than they looked about for the
cause; and finding their guards, executioner, and all, had taken it in
their heads to die first, they directly extricated each other from their
disgraceful cords, and then ran down to the sea-shore, seized a Spanish
boat with two men in it, and made them row to one of our ships, which
they did with great safety, and in a few minutes after, when I was
relating to General Elliot how I had acted, they both took us by the
hand, and after mutual congratulations we retired to spend the day with
festivity.
CHAPTER XI
_An interesting account of the Baron’s ancestors – A quarrel relative
to the spot where Noah built his ark – The history of the sling, and
its properties – A favourite poet introduced upon no very reputable
occasion – queen Elizabeth’s abstinence – The Baron’s father crosses from
England to Holland upon a marine horse, which he sells for seven hundred
ducats._
You wish (I can see by your countenances) I would inform you how I
became possessed of such a treasure as the sling just mentioned. (Here
facts must be held sacred.) Thus then it was: I am a descendant of the
wife of Uriah, whom we all know David was intimate with; she had several
children by his majesty; they quarrelled once upon a matter of the first
consequence, viz., the spot where Noah’s ark was built, and where it
rested after the flood. A separation consequently ensued. She had often
heard him speak of this sling as his most valuable treasure: this she
stole the night they parted; it was missed before she got out of
his dominions, and she was pursued by no less than six of the king’s
body-guards: however, by using it herself she hit the first of them
(for one was more active in the pursuit than the rest) where David did
Goliath, and killed him on the spot. His companions were so alarmed at
his fall that they retired, and left Uriah’s wife to pursue her journey.
She took with her, I should have informed you before, her favourite son
by this connection, to whom she bequeathed the sling; and thus it has,
without
