and became intimate with a poet who was a great deer-stealer;
I think his name was Shakespeare: he frequently borrowed this sling, and
with it killed so much of Sir Thomas Lucy’s venison, that he narrowly
escaped the fate of my two friends at Gibraltar. Poor Shakespeare was
imprisoned, and my ancestor obtained his freedom in a very singular
manner. Queen Elizabeth was then on the throne, but grown so indolent,
that every trifling matter was a trouble to her; dressing, undressing,
eating, drinking, and some other offices which shall be nameless, made
life a burden to her; all these things he enabled her to do without, or
by a deputy! and what do you think was the only return she could prevail
upon him to accept for such eminent services? setting Shakespeare at
liberty! Such was his affection for that famous writer, that he would
have shortened his own days to add to the number of his friend’s.
I do not hear that any of the queen’s subjects, particularly the
_beef-eaters_, as they are vulgarly called to this day, however they
might be struck with the novelty at the time, much approved of her
living totally without food. She did not survive the practice herself
above seven years and a half.
My father, who was the immediate possessor of this sling before me, told
me the following anecdote: —
He was walking by the sea-shore at Harwich, with this sling in his
pocket; before his paces had covered a mile he was attacked by a fierce
animal called a seahorse, open-mouthed, who ran at him with great fury;
he hesitated a moment, then took out his sling, retreated back about
a hundred yards, stooped for a couple of pebbles, of which there were
plenty under his feet, and slung them both so dexterously at the animal,
that each stone put out an eye, and lodged in the cavities which their
removal had occasioned. He now got upon his back, and drove him into the
sea; for the moment he lost his sight he lost also ferocity, and became
as tame as possible: the sling was placed as a bridle in his mouth; he
was guided with the greatest facility across the ocean, and in less
than three hours they both arrived on the opposite shore, which is about
thirty leagues. The master of the _Three Cups_, at Helvoetsluys, in
Holland, purchased this marine horse, to make an exhibition of, for
seven hundred ducats, which was upwards of three hundred pounds, and the
next day my father paid his passage back in the packet to Harwich.
_ – My father made several curious observations in this passage, which I
will relate hereafter._
CHAPTER XII
_The frolic; its consequences – Windsor Castle – St. Paul’s – College of
Physicians – Undertakers, sextons, &c., almost ruined – Industry of the
apothecaries._
THE FROLIC.
This famous sling makes the possessor equal to any task he is desirous
of performing.
I made a balloon of such extensive dimensions, that an account of the
silk it contained would exceed all credibility; every mercer’s shop and
weaver’s stock in London, Westminster, and Spitalfields contributed to
it: with this balloon and my sling I played many tricks, such as taking
one house from its station, and placing another in its stead, without
disturbing the inhabitants, who were generally asleep, or too much
employed to observe the peregrinations of their habitations. When the
sentinel at Windsor Castle heard St. Paul’s clock strike thirteen, it
was through my dexterity; I brought the buildings nearly together that
night, by placing the castle in St. George’s Fields, and carried it
back again before daylight, without waking any of the inhabitants;
notwithstanding these exploits, I should have kept my balloon, and its
properties a secret, if Montgolfier had not made the art of flying so
public.
On the 30th of September, when the College of Physicians chose their
annual officers, and dined sumptuously together, I filled my balloon,
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