Jesus anymore?
And now, in addition, he had to learn even more than before. Why had his father given him so many tasks? Why did he have to study the scriptures more? While his father thought he was talented, that was surely not the reason why he was supposed to learn more. There was only one thing he was looking forward to. He had always wanted to learn how to write. Writing was his dream. He admired the beautiful torah scroll which was stored in the synagogue. It was written on parchment. Joshua loved the smell of the scroll, the smell of the parchment and the smell of the ink, when Samuel was writing something. There he had to agree with his father. Hardly anyone in the village could write. But why was it so important? One could also get by in life without it. No matter. He was looking forward to it. Then he would also be able to endure the increased study of the torah which Samuel had planned for him.
Joshua did not want to risk not following the instructions his father had given him, yet he also did not want to have to go without any contact to Jesus. He could not possibly end all contact to him. He might have the best possible life with his father, for he would no longer be beaten but rather loved by him. Yes, that was a sunny outlook. But there had to be another way, without him being thrown out of his home. It couldn’t be so hard to spend time with Jesus without Samuel noticing.! But what if he found out? Joshua’s inner struggle continued for quite a while. It was only interrupted by the smile of his mother and the laughter of Judith, who came in and gave him unleavened bread and a bowl a milk. Judith gave him a kiss on the scarred cheek and wished him a restful night. Then he finally fell asleep and his tired soul could rest for a couple of hours.
At the same time Jesus, also wrapped in blankets, was ready to sleep. What had happened to Joshua? Why had that legion of demons swarmed him? He had seen them pass by Rachel and go over to Joshua as he was talking to her.
Why had they attacked him? In Alexandria he had already seen such dark shades that hovered about sinister people now and then. He especially recalled one lesson with his old fatherly teacher Bakenor. A lesson that he would never forget. His thoughts wandered to Bakenor in Alexandria, the city in Egypt which had been his home until only a few months ago.
One day they both had set out for a place near the agora, the main square. They entered a small side alley. Jesus recalled how after a while Bakenor had told him that he should stop and observe closely what would happen. They saw a man that wore a black cloak and a black hat the likes of which he had never seen before. This man spoke to a smaller one. They spoke agitatedly, yet not a word could be understood. Behind the man dressed in black he noticed three dark beings that were waiting for something. After a while the two men started arguing loudly, and the small one left, walking away quickly. However one of the black entities left the group and followed him. Jesus recalled how Bakenor had told him that they should follow the small man for a while. So they followed him leaving a safe distance between themselves and him. He turned right, then left, walked up a staircase and disappeared into some foul establishment. After a few moments one heard wild screaming, some calling for help, and someone calling out for a doctor. What followed was sheer terror. Shortly thereafter Jesus saw the black entity float out of one of the windows of that establishment and vanish in the next moment. A moment later the small man, covered in blood, was pulled through the doorway by a stronger man and tossed down the stairs. Bakenor went to him, felt his pulse and told Jesus that he had been stabbed. Shortly thereafter a doctor appeared who immediately tended to the small man. Finally, Bakenor und Jesus could leave.
When Bakenor and Jesus were home again, Bakenor explained the incident to him.
“Jesus, that was one of the most difficult lessons that I had to share with you before you have to depart to Galilee in a few weeks.” It had clearly not been easy for Bakenor to speak those words.
“I had to show you how demons act and what they can do. And you were also supposed to see how black magicians operate. That man dressed in black was one of them. He placed a curse on the small man after their argument and used his strong will to set a demon loose on him. The content of the curse was likely the order to kill him. Naturally the demon could not take a knife into his own hand and stab him. Thus he had to bring about an argument , cause the small man to say a wrong word and then it happened: the demon gained vital essence in order to fulfil his mission. He merely had to increase the hate and fury among the people in order to get one of them to pull out a knife, and then it happened. Only then, when the demon had fulfilled his order, was he allowed to return to his master, the magician.”
“How did you know that something like this would happen, Bakenor?”
“I heard a voice, as so often when I turn my thoughts to the question of what lessons you are to learn, and it told me that we should be here at this place at this time and follow the small man. The voice also told me that he would be stabbed, yet that I was not allowed to interfere since it was the destiny of this man.”
“So I was supposed to learn what horrible things of which people have no knowledge happen in the invisible world,?”
“Yes. You were supposed to learn that the demons are real. They exist and are attracted by people who think and speak negatively. Be careful in your thoughts Take care with your words.”
There was a knock at the door. His mother Miriam came in and tore Jesus away from his memories.
“Get to sleep already. I heard you breathing heavily and wanted to check up on you. Rest well now. May the Lord protect you.” This is good, Jesus thought with relief, for now he was back in Nazareth. And he was happy to have his own room.
And he recalled once more what had happened to Joshua. But why? After all, he was such a nice boy, or not? Maybe he was afraid and attracted such creatures through his fear? But why so many of them? Usually he only saw them around himself. However today they had left him alone and targeted Joshua instead. He had felt a strange sorrow kneeling next to him and praying for him earlier, as if he had lost Joshua forever. Or something of the sort. He had already heard from his mother that Joshua was feeling better, but something had happened today. And this bothered him. He fell asleep with a prayer on his lips and dreamt of Joshua’s death.
That was very odd. Up until now I was only used to having the demons descend on me, but what did they do with Joshua today? Why Joshua? I am angry at those entities. Why are those ghouls allowed to descend upon innocent people? I don’t understand any of that. I don’t understand why there is so much suffering here. Father, are you not the purest joy? Why do people live in such habitualness and why have they forgotten the true faith in you and your joy? Why oh why is that so father?
Please help me to get out of these feelings, for this heaviness demands much energy from my soul. I wish that I may also feel a lightness like Rachel or Ismael. They are always so happy and joyful. Please also grant me a time of lightness. Amên.
∞
Samuel felt great today. He felt that his ernest talk with Joshua a few days ago had not gone unheeded. The boy was doing his writing exercises, he seemed highly motivated to learn new things. And he also stayed away from Jesus. At least Samuels had not heard anything to the contrary.
He went ahead into the synagogue, which he loved above all else. He loved the limestone of which it had been built. It was so harmonious and contrasted completely with the black basalt which was used to construct the synagogue of his friend in Capernaum. When he had reached the synagogue he sang a small hymn in honor of God. Today he wanted to spend some time here alone and show God his love and worship in form of a small sacrifice. Since he was not a friend of animal sacrifice he had acquired some pomegranates, olives and wheat grain which he intended to offer up. After he had unpacked the offerings and wanted to speak his prayer, he heard an insistent voice inside himself which he could not ignore.
“Samuel, my
