would be going too far. “Joshua, what was the most beautiful moment in your life?”
“I can recall two of those. One of them was when Rachel and I sat together in this tree and cuddled and simply enjoyed the silence. The other one was when I …“ Now it was Joshua’s turn to be too embarrassed to finish his sentence. However, since he had just insisted that Jesus not leave his sentence half-finished, it was only fair for him to now to the same for him.
“Go on, speak, Joshua.”
“The second moment was when you all arrived in Nazareth and I was able to see your eyes despite the sand storm.”
“O, then you seem to have recognized me. Then your soul seems to have remembered me. I am very happy to hear this.”
After that both of the friends sat in silence, simply enjoying their company. This afternoon underneath the olive tree had caused some commotion in Joshua’s soul and had connected it to the soul of Jesus. A bond of love had been created.
A blessing went forth from the olive tree, which wanted to teach humans patience and calmness, and wrapped the souls of both of the boys in light so that they would not forget this timeless moment for a long long time. “Light the lamps of other souls that live in spiritual darkness and need warmth in their lives with the oil of my fruits“, the tree breathed after the boys as they walked away. “Light the lamps of other souls with the oil of my fruits …“
Fears and a Shock
“Mother, why is life so difficult here?” Jesus was desperate. “I am only barely six years old, and yet already often feel endlessly sad. And besides that, I keep on seeing these demons that pursue me constantly and laugh at me and try to hurt me. Why is that so?”
Miriam was conserving figs. She gazed over at her son and as so often felt great empathy for his plight. Yes, he was right of course. He truly did not have a childhood like the other kids who often had nothing better to do than get into trouble. Nonetheless she tried to comfort him.
“Jesus, unfortunately I can not simply take away all of those experiences, I only do know that you have a special task, even though you are still small and would prefer an easier life. I can only simply always be here for you.”
“If things keep up the way they are going, I don’t want to fulfil the task which God our father has given me. I feel completely exhausted.”
Miriam listened carefully to Jesus. There they were, the first doubts Jesus had ever expressed. Bakenor, her trusted friend in Egypt, had informed her earlier that such feelings would be expressed at some point. And that it would be entirely normal. She shouldn’t take them too seriously but rather show him that she understood that he felt that way. That was all that could be done to help Jesus. He was in fact strong enough. But it was nonetheless important that he had someone whom he could trust and share his feelings with.
“I can understand you, my son.” Miriam wanted to follow Bakenor’s instructions. “Simply do whatever your heart desires in these times now. Play your flute, take a walk, perhaps you could speak to Joshua about your feelings some time. And try to simply accept the fears that arise, to simply sense them and then ask God to lift these feelings from you again.”
“I will think about it.” Jesus had already decided to look out for Joshua more, but should he really share his thoughts and feelings with him more? He couldn’t tell. He was not sure whether Joshua would doubt him and his words too much. He would wait and see what the near future held.
Jesus was downcast. Nobody could understand him, nobody could look into his soul. Not even his mother, now.
“How was the morning in the synagogue today?” Miriam changed the topic. “As usual.” Jesus shook his head. “The rabbi is so pig-headed. The laws are more important to him than the people. He does not recognize the truths. And he always tries to show me up. But I have grown used to it already. Fortunately I am inspired to say things in reply whenever that happens. I have the feeling that the good spirits are standing directly next to me then and put words into my mouth. Those are nice moments.”
“Don’t be angry at the rabbi. He doesn’t know any better.”
“But it is still nice to know that the rabbi will be leaving in the foreseeable future.” Jesus paused for a moment. “Sadly, Joshua too.”
Jesus was often troubled by fears regarding the future. If things were already difficult now, how bad would it still get? Whenever he thought of the many evil faces he saw, he nearly got sick. Fortunately he wasn’t being bothered by them just now. Today way a day on which he felt like thanking his father in heaven for giving him the idea to carve his flute. This raised his spirits and he had to smile. It had occurred to him a couple of months ago. It had been a hot day, he had been sad and had had to defend himself against the grimacing faces and the demons constantly. Suddenly he had heard a voice that had told him to carve a flute and simply begin playing some melodies on it. He listened and then acted on the words he had heard. What had happened next had astonished him and even today still filled him with deep joy and love. After he had placed the finished flute against his lips for the very first time and a melody had appeared as if out of thin air suddenly, all of the evil faces had disappeared within moments and his soul had been filled with a deep sense of joy and peace. Whenever he now saw the grimacing faces he played his flute and the faces vanished, screaming and cursing.
That was the reason he always had the flute with him. Especially Simeon and his buddies laughed about him for playing it so often. They claimed it was only something for girls to do. On the other hand the girls were very fond of his flute-playing. It never took long till they gathered around him and began listening to the melodies he played.
Today however he went directly to the spring which was located a little outside of the village. He found a shady spot underneath a carob tree. He noticed that fears were prominent among his thoughts again today. Perhaps his mother was right and he should tell Joshua of his fears. He placed the flute against his lips, closed his eyes and simply played whatever cam to mind. As usual his thoughts became lighter, the dark fog around him dissipated and his soul felt more joyful.
Suddenly he heard rustling nearby. Jesus opened his eyes and saw Rachel, who had approached him very quietly. Neither of them spoke a word. She sat down next to him and the tree. Jesus began playing the flute again. Holy silence and peace surrounded the two and they enjoyed this wonderful moment together.
Jesus lowered the flute and cast his gaze into the distance, toward Mt. Tabor. “Playing the flute gives me great joy and makes my life more bearable.”
“You play flute very well.” Rachel was always happy to be near him. Especially today. “Jesus, I had a dream about you last night.”
Jesus gave her a surprised look. “And what happened in your dream?”
“You were already as old as my father. Lots of children were sitting around you and listening to your stories. I was sitting next to you. You were very happy. But at the end of one of the stories you told me that you were also often lonely and sad. And that children gave you hope.” Rachel paused for a moment. “And then I suddenly heard loud yelling and strong men took you away. Then one of the men shouted that they had found the Messiah. That was all.”
“Hmm. It is true that I often feel lonely and downcast.” Jesus was surprised at how precisely Rachel had described his feelings. “But I don’t tell anyone about it.”
“Why not? You
