a fence sitter or a coward. Whichever it was, I wasn’t going to be the same way.
“I would have to learn now to cope in university, as I had learned to do so in high school. Coping here wouldn’t be quite the same. It was on a different level. I would upgrade my coping too, I decided then and there.
“‘You won’t take the matter up with him?’ I asked again forcefully.
“He hesitated as he stumbled for words.
“I couldn’t wait. ‘Look here, sir,’ I said, ‘that professor has been very discriminatory towards me ever since the beginning of the semester. Now four other professors are willing to accept me back. Only one is not willing, and when all is boiled down, cut and dried, the only reason the fifth one has not accepted me is because he is prejudiced against me. I don’t intend to be pushed out of university, and out of my career, by a person like that. Now sir, do I get re-admitted, or do I get a lawyer to take up my case for me and fight this matter right to the very end.’
“There was a pause.
“Then I continued, ‘There are people in that lecture room who know I was discriminated against by the actions and attitudes of that professor.’
“The dean kept his outward composure. ‘Miss Emerson,’ he said, ‘there is no need to go to such extremes. The same course you have been barred from is being taught simultaneously by another professor. She is a very good person. I will speak to her, and I am sure she will be glad to have you in her class.’
“‘Why can’t you speak to the professor who has rejected me?’ I asked, pointedly.
“His eyes shifted from side to side again.
“‘Listen,’ he said, ‘you will get the same instruction in this class I wish to get you into. Why go through all the fuss of trying to get back to your former class?’
“I knew then and there,” continued Gilda, “that I would have no support whatever from the dean in any effort I may make to get into my former class. I thought the matter over briefly. Since there was an opportunity to join another class in the same course, I decided to take that opportunity. But I didn’t let go easily. ‘All right sir,’ I said with a tone of dissatisfaction, ‘I’ll transfer to the other class when you make the arrangements, but I would like you to know I am not very pleased at having to do so. I have made some pleasant acquaintances with students in the former class. That will be a loss to me now. Also, having to change classes is a further disruption to my work and just adds to my problem. Nevertheless, since there is another class open to me, I will take it. But if there was no other class open to me I would fight the matter to the end by all possible means.’
“The dean’s face was expressionless. He was covering up his feelings. I was to learn, as the years went by, that he was not alone in taking such an attitude in matters such as these where there is a real sticky problem involved. Some do not recognize the problem. Others fear the perpetrators of it. Still others avoid involvement in such circumstances, simply because there has never evolved a victorious way of dealing with it. With the dean I suspect it was the latter case. He was afraid to get involved because it is so difficult to deal with all the intangibles of it.
“As for me, I made up my mind then, that I would never be in the first two of these categories. As for the last one, I decided, come victory or defeat, I would never be found avoiding a battle with such people as the hawk, whenever a battle was necessary to fair play.
“And that folks was the experience that gave me the know-how to fly and glide and battle my way through to an undergraduate university honors degree. There would be other hawks in subsequent years, all somewhat different in approach but in actuality motivated in their misbehavior by the same type of faulty character. They were always in the minority, but for various unavoidable reasons they nearly always managed to dominate life’s experiences. However, I battled my way through them, and came out on top.”
Gilda paused, then added lightly with a smile, “A butterfly has survival problems too!”
Owen smiled back at her, and asked, “What was your final grade in that course, Gilda?”
“Oh,” she replied gleefully, “I got an A,” and then added mischievously, “I made sure the hawk knew it too. I purposely encountered him in the corridor and showed it to him on paper.”
“What did he say?” asked Owen curiously.
“He pushed up his lip, half contemptuously, half approvingly so as one couldn’t tell for sure which way he meant it, and remarked, ‘I guess you were lucky,’ and then went on his way. I figure he will keep on going his way - of discrimination against those of whom he is envious, with nobody ever really challenging him.”
Collin spoke next. “Gilda, by flying, gliding and battling your way successfully through university here, no doubt you have ruffled many feathers. Where do you intend to go from here?”
“‘Where’ is the right word,” replied Gilda. “It is true I have ruffled many feathers. In fact I am known in some circles here as a terror, throwing my old man’s weight around, etc. etc., although, I never once called on my father for help. In fact, neither of my parents know of quarter of my battles. So, Collin, from here I will go far away, to another university to do post graduate work. At present I am taking some extra courses here, necessary prerequisites to take care of a minor change in the course of my future studies. But to stay here to either study or to make a career would be a mistake. I was successful in gaining a degree all right, but in the process of fighting my battle and defending my rights two things have happened which must be left behind. First, as I said, I am known as a terror, simply for standing up for myself. Secondly, this prolonged battle has been detrimental to me in that in some very real ways I have become a battle axe of a sort. I hope to go away to new surroundings to do post graduate work, which is a wise move academically anyway, but, also to make a career in a new environment where I can again become the pleasant person I was and really still am.”
“You will have to be careful where you choose to go if you want to accomplish these things,” remarked Collin.
“Yes,” said Gilda, “I have thought about it a great deal. I have reason to believe that in post-graduate work the flying will be smoother for various reasons, although I will never drop my guard again. Usually, not always though, the professors in post graduate work are the higher caliber ones. That will help. In addition, when it comes to choosing a place for further studies, I will have a varied selection to choose from, so I am very encouraged about the prospects.”
“Gilda,” spoke Dr. Eldren, “you have contributed quite substantially to the session this evening. No doubt you have had this matter on your mind all week, keeping you up tight. All the members, I am sure, will find your experiences to be of real value. It isn’t easy I know to recall and relive those things. It is a tiring and burdensome task. Thank you very much. I would suggest we hear from Donna Coyne next week. As you know, in our later sessions we will want to refer to your experiences again, as we will those of the others. For now though we will let you relax and unwind.”
“Thank you, Dr. Eldren, I agree, I need to relax,” said Gilda with a heavy smile.
“I would like to mention,” said Collin, “that one of the predominant things I see in your story is the way your whole life has been altered by people who are down on you simply because you are a nice person and they can’t tolerate it. That illustrates the whole purpose of this support group - to bring such unjust realities out into the open. Even more striking, of course, is that you are succeeding regardless.”
The
