didn’t seem to make much difference either. But for the obnoxious ones it did make a great deal of difference. They had been nasty to me before, but now more so. But most notable of all, now as I look back, was the change in their motivation for being that way towards me. It was a change, and yet in a sense it was the same, basically at least. What it amounted to was that when my father was just a very successful salesman, I was snubbed for trying to be a big shot. When my father became the owner, I was snubbed for being a big shot.”
“You were being discriminated against because of your father’s success?” queried Collin.
“Yes, oh yes, that’s it,” replied Donna.
Collin questioned and pried further. Her father’s success was only one factor. There was that other affecting element too. He would like to bring it out to increase Donna’s awareness. “Donna, were you not also discriminated against because of what you were yourself? You were and are what we are calling a fine person.”
“Yes,” replied Donna. “I wasn’t aware of that at the time, but when I reflect back, I can now see that it was so. There were some other ‘big shot’s’ children around who were not picked on. But when my father became owner of the car dealership, that seemed to give them all the more license - they could now more openly pick on me because I was ‘a big shot’s daughter,’ so they inferred with their side-swipes and innuendo.
Collin led Donna back on course again in the telling of her story. “So you abandoned the way of the academic life for the business world, did you Donna?” he asked.
“Yes,” Donna replied, “I prepared myself to be a stenographer and went to work eventually in the offices of a large manufacturing company.”
Collin smiled at her sympathetically, “was it any better there for you, Donna?” he asked.
Donna shook her head as she returned the smile. “Not really,” she replied, “not for me.” The place where I worked was known as a reputable company. My experience there was quite different in essence than I had in high school, but no Collin, it wasn’t any better for me,” she said with an emphasis on the ‘me’ at the end of her sentence.
Dr. Eldren came in with a suggestion. “Perhaps Donna, you could tell us in detail something of your experience in office work that would be helpful to furthering the understanding of the group members. That could be the main thrust of your contribution, if you wish.”
“All right, Dr. Eldren,” Donna replied. “I will try.”
So Donna resumed her story, now in the sphere of her career in office work. “I went to work as a clerk-typist,” she said, “and as usual when a person is new in a place, you neither know people nor are known by them. Apart from the feeling one gets from being eyed by other people who are trying to figure you out, you are in a kind of pleasant vacuum where you haven’t yet come into close association with anybody. There are people all around you, and in the course of their synchronizing their work with yours and showing you how the system operates, there is an all around almost perfunctory friendliness.
“Only as time goes by does this preliminary friendliness become enhanced or marred as people figure you out in their own way and either accept or reject you to varying degrees on the basis of their speculative opinion of you. So for approximately my first three months with the corporation I had no unpleasant experiences to speak of. During that time I learned my job well, did very well with my work, and was gradually given more responsibility. At the end of the first three months I was given a substantial increase in salary on the merit of my work.
“However, one cannot be involved for a prolonged period in any organization without being eventually caught up in its social joys and trials. As time passes you find out who are your friends and who are not.”
Collin asked, “Donna, do you not find that out as you do your work better and better and perhaps get a promotion or raise in salary?”
“You sure do, Collin,” Donna replied, “but I was fortunate in my first year in that I was in a department where the supervisor appreciated good work, punctuality, and decorum.”
“Don’t all supervisors appreciate these qualities, Donna?” asked Albin.
“Many supervisors do not appreciate decorum at all, Albin, and often these same supervisors appreciate good work and punctuality only to a degree. I am glad you asked that question, however, and if you will keep it in mind, I am sure that it will be answered for you as we continue through our discussions. In the meantime, in the department of my first year, I did make some enemies because of these favorable attributes, if I may say so without sounding conceited or presumptuous.”
Collin cut in, “that is something a person like you always has to be careful of when you make an honest assessment of yourself, isn’t it, Donna? I mean being careful not to be accused of conceit or presumption.”
“Oh yes indeed, Collin,” said Donna, “there is always someone ready to accuse people like us of that. However, in this group I feel free to express my thoughts without restraint.”
“That is good, Donna,” interjected Dr. Eldren. “It is sometimes very difficult to make an objective assessment of one’s own experiences, but you are doing well. I think if we all keep in mind that the more open and objective we are in our analysis of ourselves and each other, the more beneficial it will be to our learning experience.”
“Well,” said Donna, “I think I am being objective and factual in stating that my enemies were made because of my good work.” She then quipped with a nervous smile, “Of course, Dr. Eldren, I made many friends there too, so I wouldn’t want you to think I came out of there paranoid or with delusions of grandeur or persecution.”
“No such thought entered my mind Donna,” Dr. Eldren replied, “feel at ease and continue.”
Donna continued with her story. “It was there in the year one department, as I will call it, that my semi-awareness began to grow into a more complete awareness. There I learned the art of maneuvering among and coping with the many and varied personalities one finds in life’s experiences. In semi-awareness I had been led into a mind-set that made me feel I was to be an underdog anyway, and just grin and bear it. I thought then that if I just plodded through in a somewhat stoic manner, I would in the end average out a good distance up the ladder. But now, on my way through year one, all that changed.
“There were a few newly made friends who dared to befriend me regardless of the hostilities of some others. Also, there was my supervisor with her absolute fairness, and her appreciation of myself and my work. This led me to break out of my youthfully formed mind-set, to begin my years of awakening and growing. Why this awakening didn’t happen to me in school is a matter of speculation. Of course I was older now, and that was a contributing factor. I rather think it came about in year one at work, because there I was in an entirely adult situation. Among adults both friendship and unfriendliness are more pronounced, and people are more openly reactive to my response to their overtures of either friendliness or unfriendliness. This made it easier for me to discern and know who was my true friend and who was not, and how to react to, even utilize friendship, in an ethical manner of course.”
Collin asked, “did you have more time to contemplate these things now Donna, even dwell on them for periods?”
“Yes, -yes,” replied Donna. “During my school days, I recall now, it was the custom to brush all troubles aside so as to participate in and enjoy extra-curricular activities or to do home work. Now that I was working, I often had some evenings of inactivity. As I watched television,
