of Gilda Emerson, complimenting her on her successes before it dispersed for the evening.
Chapter Four
Collin Seldon, as his custom was on occasion, was lost in thought. Yes, he mused to himself as he again approached Quilibet University for a support group session, Gilda Emerson did make it through. That feat is not merely the result of good work from a hard working person. It is not just an accomplishment of another person who had used her above average talents to the utmost. Rather, it was an extraordinary achievement against the odds. Of course, most people wouldn’t see it to be any more than another success story - the kind of story one would automatically expect from a person of Gilda’s caliber.
But Collin was aware, from his own experience, of the deep and prolonged anguish, the times of excruciating stress, the sheer mental agony that Gilda had been through to attain her goal. To retain the stamina and keen powers of concentration it takes to earn an honors degree, while at the same time bearing that burden, was a remarkable achievement indeed. He mused further, with such a background of academic attainment, and experience, she may someday well take her rightful place at the top of the ladder somewhere, not here, but somewhere else. Most people would not think of that as being out of the ordinary either for a fine person like Gilda Emerson. They are not aware of the difficulties of the upward road, and of how many like her drop by the wayside, or settle for lesser summits. I wonder, he thought to himself, how many in this group, have settled for less, because of these sometimes overwhelming circumstances!
Collin expected he would find Donna Coyne’s story equally as interesting as Gilda Emerson’s. No doubt about it there was contrast in the setting of the lives of these two women. Collin, in his varied life, had gone the way of the business world also, for a time, so he handy about knew how the essence of Donna’s story would go. He was glad for her though, for at a young age her awareness had grown and come to full flower; not at the exceptionally young age that awareness had come to Gilda, but still relatively early in her life - in time to avert a catastrophe.
That is what Collin pondered in his mind as he sat in the foyer on floor one of the university arts building. He had arrived early this evening for another support group session. Having been out on a lengthy pastoral call, he had gotten himself a snack somewhere between his pastoral visit and the university. Now he had time to spare. So amid the tranquil setting of the appropriate benches and indoor trees, and the early evening quiet of the area he sat and meditated on the latest happenings of the support group.
Awareness, semi-awareness! Collin well knew from experience what was meant by the terms, but it is very difficult to put into words a definition of them. As Gilda Emerson would say though, “it can be done you know” - and so it can.
To Collin, awareness in its various stages is a characteristic that a person just grows into as life progresses. As we go through life’s experiences they make imprints on us which greatly affect our behavior, particularly with regard to our reaction to those events which may affect us heavily.
When we are very young persons, as with Gilda in Grade Five, before she had the unusually early and awakening behavioral learning experiences of Grades Six and Seven, these experiences may affect us with our having little or almost no consciousness that they are doing so.
With an older person, such as a university student, or a person in the work force awareness or consciousness of the social influences become more predominant in the mind. If only a semi-awareness develops, then thoughts of these influences take a secondary place in our total thoughts. People on this level of awareness generally try to just automatically avoid events that they sense to be unpleasant. Their reaction is, to a great extent, unconscious and unpremeditated. Many people go through life this way. And so they can, and get by - perhaps - depending on what category of people they are. People such as are in the support group, they being assailed in life so much more than average, need a more highly developed consciousness of what is happening to them in the kind of world in which they are compelled to live.
So awareness, more complete awareness, is to be fully conscious of the influences, good and bad, other people are having on you, on your very being, and your response to these influences. It is to be not only fully conscious of, but to be able to discern and understand the influences of others upon you; to be able also to discern and understand their motives as they take their various attitudes toward you, friendly or otherwise, or as they try to either manipulate or befriend you; to be fully conscious of other peoples effects upon you. To be able to discern by keen observation of speech and action another persons motives is not an easy task but one that can be developed with time and experience.
To have also honest understanding of one’s own motives, actions, and reactions, and coping methods, is another element of more complete awareness. All of these together are the things that bring awareness to its full fruition. Surprisingly few people master this trait.
But for people such as us, it is a necessity, mused Collin. Then as he looked up and saw Albin Anders and Owen Winslow approaching from a distance, he thought again, yes Albin Anders will have to master this if he is ever to make the grade. How can we best help him? It is really something you grow into but first you have to be introduced to it by oneself, or by others, or by a combination of both. Yes, that’s how we can best help Albin, by continuing to introduce him to awareness, but for heaven’s sake don’t smother him. He has to do the growing himself.
“Hello Collin,” said Owen and Albin, as they came and sat beside him. “Enjoying the tranquility before you face the problems of life once more?” quipped Owen.
“Yes,” replied Collin, “just having a period of peace and meditation, before our session begins.”
“Are you glad you have joined us in the group, Collin?” asked Owen.
“Oh yes, I really am,” he replied. “If for no other reason than just to have the assurance and support of other people like myself.”
Then Collin turned to Albin, “Your awareness is beginning to blossom more fully. Am I right on that?”
“Yes, Collin, you are right, I am beginning to understand about awareness and about many other things many of which I am not sufficiently aware yet to discuss them intelligently, but it’s coming.”
“Good,” continued Collin. “I would like to point out to you that as your awareness grows, so may the awesomeness and difficulty of the fuller life it opens up to you. But don’t ever let that despair you. As time passes, and you master the art of living in this new sphere, you will gain new confidence, and in years to come you will be able to look back at these more difficult growing years and smile. Will you remember that Albin? It’s like learning to swim. Once you have mastered it to a point, you are at ease in the water.”
“I will remember,” responded Albin, as his boyish smile broke over his face. “It’s like swimming, difficult at first, then later you are buoyed up by the water and its much easier. I swim quite well Collin. Maybe I can do likewise in this realm of life.”
Then Albin surprisingly took the initiative of the moment, looked at his watch, and remarked, “it is time to proceed to our group session. Perhaps we should go now.”
“Sure, sure,” Owen and Collin responded, as all three got up to move toward Room 405.
Great, thought Collin, as they walked down the hall towards the elevator. Albin is coming on good. He’s not afraid of us any more. He is even showing some initiative among us, although we are very much his senior age-wise. That’s a beginning for him. Just great!”
They
