bit when I made a terrible choice of words. I wanted you to know that I was with you because I wanted to know YOU not the “LEGEND” – so, instead of thinking before I spoke, I started a sentence with “I’ve never been that much of a fan of yours…” WRONG thing to say! You never let me finish my statement. You stomped over to the phone and said angrily “I’ll get someone to come and take you home!” With several drinks in me, I got mad that you would not let me finish what I was saying, so I said, “Never mind, I can get home!” I saw where the gate release button was and hit it and off I went into the dark night! God! Now, I can’t believe I did that. Did I think I could walk 13 miles home after midnight across the desert! I was mad and hurt maybe a bit embarrassed too.
As I look back on the whole scenario now, it seems a bit humorous or Daemon Runyon-ish! I didn’t get more than a few blocks down the road, which is now Frank Sinatra Drive, when the big black Cadillac came screeching up in front of me, blocking my path. Jimmy was driving and Jilly was in the passenger side. Jilly jumped out and said, “Get in the car, Broad!” shoving me between the two of them. Was I to be taken out in the desert and shot or what? Jimmy wheeled the car around and drove back to your house. Jilly jumped out as you stood at your front door (not the one we had entered earlier), “What shall we do with her Frank?” he yelled out. “Take her home.” “Which car should we use?” Jilly yelled out - (like it mattered!) By this time, I was really upset, with all the commotion I knew for sure there went my job that I desperately needed with Debbie in her senior year of high school and only a few months to go. I walked toward you and told you that I had done NOTHING to you – and you were causing me to loose my job that I needed. Then I said, “You look like the loneliest man in the world.” (I guess Barbara Marks soon changed all that!) With that remark, Jilly was really angry and pushed me back in the car. Jimmy wheeled the big black Cadillac out the driveway back toward Palm Springs.
This was even more Daemon Runyon – both Jimmy and Jilly assured me that I no longer had a job! As we rode back on one of the side roads, we came upon a car sitting upside down on the road. Jimmy was going to barrel right past them but I ORDERED him to see if anyone was hurt. “You can’t just leave those people there without trying to help them!” I blurted out. (After all, I’d lost my job, what did I have to loose now except, maybe – my life?) No one was hurt. They drove on to my house and dropped me off.
Needless to say, I had a very restless night with no money and no job facing me. I didn’t know what I was going to do. About 11 A.M. the next morning, Jimmy called me and asked, “What time you coming in tonight?” like nothing had happened. I said, “I thought I was fired?” “Be there at 6!” he said, end of conversation. From that evening it was never mentioned again.
I don’t remember if you continued to come into Jilly’s thereafter or did I choose to go back to LA within a short time. I was working on tips only so when the tourist left the desert, the money was scarce.
My heart went out to you when your mother was killed in a plane crash in the mountains between the desert and Las Vegas, on her way to Vegas. With the past events, I didn’t feel it my place to say or do anything. You were so close and devastated with her death. Perhaps today you are with her once again – I hope so.
I must say with all the rumors I had heard about your generosity and heavy tipping. I certainly never experienced it. I knew others that had received your “blessings!” You sent a cocktail waitress that you liked to Florida on your private plane when she needed to be there for some emergency. There were stories like that floating around about your helping people, just not me!
Debbie stayed with friends while I went back to LA to seek work. She had done well popularity-wise in school. She was Rodeo Sweetheart along with runner-up in several beauty contests around the desert. She was very popular and had lots of friends.
I would come back to the desert often. On one occasion when visiting with Ruby, he said he was meeting you later in the afternoon with a group of people, why didn’t I join him at Jilly’s. I did not like the way things had ended and would have liked to at least be on friendlier terms. I told him I was meeting a friend. He said bring her along but not to be late. Sure enough, she was late. We arrived about thirty or forty-five minutes late. Ruby had gone. I shall never forget - we had barely sat down at a table in front of where you were sitting with your group to your left and right. You took one look at me, and then you seems like a choir director, you stood, raised your hands and all the puppets stood up and left with you. Not a word to me! That was it!
Almost two year later, after Debbie vanished off the face of the earth, and after I had stood all the grief and endless police investigations of her disappearance that I could handle in Texas, I returned to California for some R and R. I recall driving into LA to stay with friends. It was Thanksgiving weekend. They were gone. Instead of staying there alone at their house, I decided to turn around and head back to Palm Springs. While there, I was having dinner with Ruby at Ruby Dunes, when you came in and joined us. You hardly spoke to me. Ruby exclaimed to you that it was such a tragedy that my daughter, Debbie, had disappeared and I shall never forget your response, “Oh that’s too bad what time are we playing golf in the morning” without a breath between! What a cold, indifferent, impersonal response I thought! I was a bit annoyed at your attitude. That was the last time I ever saw you.
I thought about your cold response through the years, as my daughter never turned up dead or alive. Perhaps it was at the suggestion of others that knew about this whole scenario that because of your ego and the fact that I had walked out that night, could it be possible that you had anything to do with her disappearance. That I will never know. Chances are that you did not; still it is an unanswered question in the minds of those who knew.
For the next few days, maybe weeks, you will be eulogized again and again. Thousands, millions will grieve for you. Every radio station will play all your old records. They always take advantage of these times of morning to commercialize.
With rumors of family squabbling over your estate for the past few months, it seemed clear that no matter what family members hope your last days on earth were good. Barbara certainly stood by you through these years, looking smashing and ageless. I hope you were very happy with her.
It would have been nice for our limited association to be of a more positive nature but at least it makes for an interesting story, don’t you think? It is always interesting to see the inner circles and personal life of one as famous as you – to see that you too had “feet of clay” no different from the rest of us no matter how insignificant one may feel his or her life may be.
The day of your funeral so many famous people turned out to pay their tributes to you. Flown to the desert in a private plane your body was “laid to rest” there. They mentioned Jilly was buried in the same cemetery, perhaps Ruby, too. Tell Ruby “hello” for me and give him a hug. Soon or later, we’ll all get “there.” At this mature age –seems as though so many are THERE and not HERE! “How time flies!” Most of the “Rat Pack” must be with you now celebrating your arrival! Party time! Each Christmas season there are advertisements for the Christmas songs of the Rat Pack – and I recall how strange it seems today that I did have that date with you, Dean Martin and had dinner and drinks with Peter Lawford, his wife and my date. reported to the press, you were pretty sick. I have no reason to hold ill will toward you. I
You made your mark on history in your career of 50 or more years - from teen idol to “Picasso of Popular Music” to “Chairman of the Board” and the “Grand Old Man of Music that touched the hearts of all.” You were a King in every way and you DID IT YOUR WAY! No matter how grand your accomplishments as a singer, actor, producer, popularity with the world, the only Frank Sinatra I ever wanted to know was the real person inside, your innermost thoughts, fears, your loves – that was my reason for being with you. I don’t know why you wanted to be with me – did I remind you of Grace Kelly? I just know that it wasn’t a momentary decision to ask me to go with you to Danny’s
