they yelled in unison.
Kylie continued, “Well, did you see what I was trying to show you? I thought it would make us bond, you know? But I guess this experience is making us bond too, right?” She was eternally optimistic and could always see the positive side to any situation.
“Did everyone see what Kylie was banging on about before she made us tip the canoe over?” Shooters yelled, pausing as she bailed.
“Noooooooo,” a choir of voices yelled back.
“I just saw my life flash in front of me,” Jess said.
“I just saw myself being shark shit,” Ashley said.
“I just saw my throat being attacked by jellyfish,” Jenna said.
“I saw ya. I thought it was funny!” Mila said.
Kylie stopped bailing and looked up and smiled at her. “I think I love you baby!”
Mila blew her a kiss with her free hand, the other kept a firm grip on the bailer in the canoe.
“Really?” Shooters said surprised. “Well you can show the rest of us when the canoe is empty, now get stuck into it. Use some elbow grease!”
Kylie laughed and gave it her all. By the time the water was out of the canoe they had little over fifteen minutes left of their one-hour training session.
“Okay, before we get into the canoe – Kylie, what were you trying to tell us before Operation Dunk?” Shooters asked.
“So when you say paddlers ready, we put our paddle up like this with the blade end under our armpit and our right hand at the top of the paddle like we’re aiming it Shooters, you know, aiming to win! Like this.” Kylie grabbed a paddle and demonstrated. “It’ll help us all bond and shit! Like bailing out this canoe has.” Kylie started laughing.
Shooters couldn’t help herself. “Ladies, the last time a crew tipped a canoe over by mistake, in training, when no other canoe was in sight, was over two years ago. But, this has been a good learning experience for us all. Everyone back in the canoe but Jess and Jenna, swap over until the end of the session. Jess, you still call the huts from number Two. Jenna just watch the technique from Ashley and you’ll know for next time what I need you to do in Two okay?”
‘Ah, my arse is NOT going to fit in the number two seat,” Jess stated.
“Seriously?” Shooters asked.
“I’ll give it a try but we might need a can opener to get me outta there,” Jess replied.
“Have a go, I’ll think you’ll be alright. Have you got bike pants on under those shorts?”
“Oh yeah,” said Jess stepping in to Number two. “Yeah nup. I think I’ll get in but I won’t be getting out without shaving the skin off my thighs.”
“Righto, Jenna, you’re in Number two and Mila you’re in Four. Jess you are back to Three and calling the huts.”
“So everyone is where they already were?” Kylie asked confused.
“Yeah but everyone knows how big my arse is now!” said Jess.
“Sorry ladies, we weren’t in the canoe long enough for me to remember, everybody in!”
The girls walked around both sides of the canoe so that they could step in.
“Left side in, left side out remember ladies. We don’t want to bail this puppy out twice today,” she reminded them.
The girls laughed. They had nearly forgotten again.
“Okay, paddles ready,” Shooters said as she pushed off the beach.
All the girls put their paddles in the position Kylie had just demonstrated, Kylie made a loaded sound “tcht tcht” with her mouth and the girls laughed.
“Okay, paddles up. Ready. Set. GO!” Shooters said shaking her head.
They hugged the shoreline for the remainder of the session and learnt how to turn the canoe when cornering using a shark bait marker buoy as their turning point. Luckily for the girls, they didn’t flip the canoe again. Ashley grasped the “J” Turn quickly and with Shooters steering behind her they got better and better at it in no time.
Pulling into the shore Shooters closed off the session with a few words, “Ladies, what turned out to be a wet session was a great opportunity for us to learn about how the canoe can be tipped over quite easily and what we need to do to right it. We also learnt how to “J”, so today was a good day of learning for us all. Kylie, you are not allowed to crack sight gags anymore, spoken jokes only from now on. Now I’ve noticed that some of you haven’t been wearing protection and I’ve let it slide but not anymore. The reality is that it’s stinger season and we were all in the water unexpectedly today so I need everyone who hasn’t got a pair of leggings to buy some. If you want to wear a pair of stockings instead you can, just make sure you have something protecting your legs, anything but fishnet stockings! You should also protect your arms, so full arm length rashies are advised, otherwise, stockings with the crotch cut out of them can suffice.”
“Are you shitting me?” Mila asked.
“No I am not. The Irukandji jellyfish is a deadly little bastard that can kill you. And his mate the Box jellyfish can also be fatal or leave you with horrific scarring let alone his cousin the Blue Bottle who can leave a nasty sting on your skin. I’m not your mother and can’t force you to wear it but this is not something you want to be a rebel about. Everybody will look as dodgy as everybody else but at least you will live to take the piss out of each other. The uniform has a set of stinger pants and assorted rashies for you to purchase, please see me for registration forms, a uniform list and paddle order forms after we pack up the canoe.”
As the girls climbed out of the canoe and into the shallows, Shooters added, “And lastly, habits and occasions such as today provide us with the opportunity to give someone a nickname. For someone who has not been here long but has made us laugh a lot, and after today’s seaweed and adhesive effort, I have no choice but to bestow on Kylie the nickname of Smiley. If you agree please yell out yes.”
“YES,” Jess, Ashley, Jenna and Mila cheered. Kylie had her lips pressed together in a smile but no teeth showing and slowly shook her head.
“Smiley it is. Now let’s lift this canoe up the beach,” Shooters yelled.
The girls lifted the canoe up the beach and walked across the road to a close by residence to wash down the bailers, paddles and their feet. They then stowed away the equipment in a shed and returned to Shooters who was now at her car pulling out some papers for the girls to sign. She asked them to fill out the forms and return them in a week and to have payment ready within a month for their registration for the new season, insurance and uniforms and also basic quotes for ordering their own paddles.
Kylie looked at the costs for each item and tallied them up, “Crikey, all this is a bit steep!” she said.
“It is a big outlay Kylie but most of it is a one off as your paddle and your uniform will last you years, so I guess it’s a similar story to any sport. When did you play sport last?” Shooters asked.
“Back
