Where did you put me?
MOOCH
I was looking out for you.
FLOYD
Oh, you were looking out for me?
MOOCH
Uh-huh.
FLOYD
While you were looking out for me, where did you put me?
MOOCH
Out back, between them garbage bins out back there.
FLOYD
You put me in between some fucking garbage bins?
MOOCH
Yeah, they’re covered over so you wouldn’t get wet if it rained.
FLOYD
Asshole. Gimme that jug—you don’t get nothing!
MOOCH
What did I do?
GEORGE
Just settle down.
MOOCH
What did I do?
GEORGE
Don’t provoke him, Mooch. He looks like he’s having a bad day.
FLOYD
Why don’t you two mind your own goddamn business for once! A guy can’t even have a drink without everybody climbing up his ass.
GEORGE
Alright, alright.
FLOYD
I’m sick and tired of it. Sick and tired of you … you … bumming off me. For once, just once, I’d like you to buy me a beer, without me even having to ask.
MOOCH
What for?
FLOYD
Just because.
MOOCH
I’m chipping in—
FLOYD
Sure, you’re chipping in with June’s money. And when I order another one you’ll say, “Oh, I’ll get the next one.” Maybe. That woman works hard to look after you and all you do is steal from her. No wonder she’s always lumping you out.
MOOCH
That’s none of your goddamn business.
FLOYD
Oh, is that right, eh. None of my goddamn business … See? You don’t like it, do you. Don’t like it when someone looks at you, sees your shit and tells you it stinks. Do you?
MOOCH
I’s just being friendly.
FLOYD
Friendly?! You’re not my goddamn friend, you’re my goddamn Mooch!
MOOCH
Yeah, I’m your Mooch! We’re partners.
FLOYD
Well then, partner, how about you buy ME a beer.
Pause.
MOOCH
I’ll chip in for the next one.
FLOYD
(howls) Hah! That’s what I thought.
FLOYD goes back to his drink while MOOCH sits and sulks. Trying to change the subject, GEORGE indicates a newspaper article he’s been reading.
GEORGE
Hey, did you hear this thing about people getting compensated?
Pause.
MOOCH
Prune juice works good.
GEORGE
No. People are getting compensated. I guess the government and the church are finally going to compensate people for what happened at those Residential Schools.
FLOYD
Yeah, yeah … it depends on how bad it was, eh. Most people are getting about fifteen grand. If it was real bad, you get lots more.
MOOCH
Goddamn Shum’mas.
GEORGE
Hey, I’m a Shum’ma.
MOOCH
So?
GEORGE
I never did nothing to you. Don’t blame me for what happened.
MOOCH
Are you the church?
GEORGE
No.
MOOCH
Are you the government?
GEORGE
No.
MOOCH
Then shut up. I don’t blame you. You’re a good Shum’ma.
FLOYD
You know why I blame the Shum’mas? Because the Shum’mas run everything! The Indians, the fishing, the country, the whole world! And every year the whole world gets worse.
GEORGE
Oh, piss off. Don’t blame me.
FLOYD
The whole world goes to shit and the Shum’ma says, “Don’t blame me!”
GEORGE
Hey, I’m in the same hole as you. I just pour the beers.
FLOYD
Uh-huh. You might pour our beers, and this jackass might take you hunting, but you’re still in charge of us here. In-it, Mooch?
GEORGE
