Lord Illingworth, I want you so much to know my mother.
lord illingworth
With the greatest pleasure. [To Mrs. Allonby.] I’ll be back in a moment. People’s mothers always bore me to death. All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy.
·72· mrs. allonby
No man does. That is his.
lord illingworth
What a delightful mood you are in to-night! [Turns round and goes across with Gerald to Mrs. Arbuthnot. When he sees her, he starts back in wonder. Then slowly his eyes turn towards Gerald.]
gerald
Mother, this is Lord Illingworth, who has offered to take me as his private secretary. [Mrs. Arbuthnot bows coldly.] It is a wonderful opening for me, isn’t it? I hope he won’t be disappointed in me, that is all. You’ll thank Lord Illingworth, mother, won’t you?
mrs. arbuthnot
Lord Illingworth is very good, I am sure, to interest himself in you for the moment.
lord illingworth
[Putting his hand on Gerald’s shoulder.] Oh, Gerald and I are great friends already, Mrs…. Arbuthnot.
mrs. arbuthnot
There can be nothing in common between you and my son, Lord Illingworth.
gerald
Dear mother, how can you say so? Of course, ·73· Lord Illingworth is awfully clever and that sort of thing. There is nothing Lord Illingworth doesn’t know.
lord illingworth
My dear boy!
gerald
He knows more about life than any one I have ever met. I feel an awful duffer when I am with you, Lord Illingworth. Of course, I have had so few advantages. I have not been to Eton or Oxford like other chaps. But Lord Illingworth doesn’t seem to mind that. He has been awfully good to me, mother.
mrs. arbuthnot
Lord Illingworth may change his mind. He may not really want you as his secretary.
gerald
Mother!
mrs. arbuthnot
You must remember, as you said yourself, you have had so few advantages.
mrs. allonby
Lord Illingworth, I want to speak to you for a moment. Do come over.
·74· lord illingworth
Will you excuse me, Mrs. Arbuthnot? Now, don’t let your charming mother make any more difficulties, Gerald. The thing is quite settled, isn’t it?
gerald
I hope so. [Lord Illingworth goes across to Mrs. Allonby.]
mrs. allonby
I thought you were never going to leave the lady in black velvet.
lord illingworth
She is excessively handsome. [Looks at Mrs. Arbuthnot.]
lady hunstanton
Caroline, shall we all make a move to the music-room? Miss Worsley is going to play. You’ll come too, dear Mrs. Arbuthnot, won’t you? You don’t know what a treat is in store for you. [To Doctor Daubeny.] I must really take Miss Worsley down some afternoon to the rectory. I should so much like dear Mrs. Daubeny to hear her on the violin. Ah, I forgot. Dear Mrs. Daubeny’s hearing is a little defective, is it not?
the archdeacon
Her deafness is a great privation to her. She ·75· can’t even hear my sermons now. She reads them at home. But she has many resources in herself, many resources.
lady hunstanton
She reads a good deal, I suppose?
the archdeacon
Just the very largest print. The eyesight is rapidly going. But she’s never morbid, never morbid.
gerald
[To Lord Illingworth.] Do speak to my mother, Lord Illingworth, before you go into the music-room. She seems to think, somehow, you don’t mean what you said to me.
mrs. allonby
Aren’t you coming?
lord illingworth
In a few moments. Lady Hunstanton, if Mrs. Arbuthnot would allow me, I would like to say a few words to her, and we will join you later on.
lady hunstanton
Ah, of course. You will have a great deal to say to her, and she will have a great deal to thank you for. It is not every son who gets such an ·76· offer, Mrs. Arbuthnot. But I know you appreciate that, dear.
lady caroline
John!
lady hunstanton
Now, don’t keep Mrs. Arbuthnot too long, Lord Illingworth. We can’t spare her.
[Exit following the other guests. Sound of violin heard from music-room.]
lord illingworth
So that is our son, Rachel! Well, I am very proud of him. He is a Harford, every inch of him. By the way, why Arbuthnot, Rachel?
mrs. arbuthnot
One name is as good as another, when one has no right to any name.
lord illingworth
I suppose so—But why Gerald?
mrs. arbuthnot
After a man whose heart I broke—after my father.
lord illingworth
Well, Rachel, what is over is over. All I have ·77· got to say now is that I am very, very much pleased with our boy. The world will know him merely as my private secretary, but to me he will be something very near, and very dear. It is a curious thing, Rachel; my life seemed to be quite complete. It was not so. It lacked something, it lacked a son. I have found my son now, I am glad I have found him.
mrs. arbuthnot
You have no right to claim him, or the smallest part of him. The boy is entirely mine, and shall remain mine.
lord
